My daughter has been in therapy for about two months. She is doing erp. I’m not seeing any improvement and may be getting worse. She just had a bad panic attack. I know that there is no set time for improvement but should there be some? I am worried especially now that she is having panic attacks. Does anyone have any advice on this?
There’s not really any set timeframe for recovery because it all depends on the person and if they are actually doing the therapy AND not giving into their OCD. Also, it gets way worse before it gets better. You are rewiring the brain and working on new habits while breaking old ones and that takes WAY longer than just a mere 2 months to overcome. Is she seeking reassurance, checking, doing rituals, ruminating? Those are all compulsions and makes OCD worse. And a person could be doing ERP, which is great, but if they are still doing compulsions, it will only go so far.
@Nica Thanks for your reply. I really try not to accommodate her. Sometimes it’s just so hard not to especially when she is at her lowest. Today she asked me to open the vitamin bottle for her and I did. It’s so hard to say no, but I know that I need to. She is doing some compulsions. I think it may be less than it was. She is not taking as many showers as she was. She is avoiding a lot. She doesn’t leave the house or really her bedroom for fear of contamination.
@Anonymous Ahh, based on the last sentence of not leaving the house, that is avoidance and is a compulsion. Probably her biggest one. Is she underage and can you speak to her OCD therapist? Because that’s something to bring up. Based on experience, they might be tackling small obsessions first and then going bigger for various reasons, but if the avoidance of leaving the house is affecting her life, it should definitely be brought up.
@Anonymous Since she isn’t a minor, then it is going to be on her to recover or continue in this loop. All you can do is not give into her asks of reassurance and not do things for her and encourage her to speak to her therapist and advocate for herself because these exposures she’s been assigned might be too hard, and therefore she cannot do them yet, so she is failing and instead doing compulsions.
I have no advice for you but just wanted to reach out and say thank you. Thank you for caring for your daughter, for putting in an effort to understand her condition and help battle this awful disease with her. My parents have only ever shot down any of my attempts to receive support from them. I unfortunately suffer with OCD alone, and it’s terribly isolating. So thank you for doing what you do, and know what you are doing is incredible and meaningful, even if it seems like you can only do so much. What you are doing already, right now, by being here—that is everything. Best wishes. ❤️
@Cinnamoroll Sorry to hear it’s so hard for you. I can only imagine how isolated you feel. I feel like my daughter is isolated and I’m here with her. I hope things get better for you.
@Anonymous Thank you. Praying for you and for your daughter’s recovery! She’s blessed to have you as a mother! ❤️
@Cinnamoroll *Or father (Sorry I assumed here!😅)
@Cinnamoroll I am her mother. I just haven’t changed the profile pic.
I know it's compultion but I think you can tell her it's okay and you can stop washing or say anything kindly to convince her.
@Anonymous here I agree. It may be temporary relief for her but at least for that moment she will stop washing her hands. The eventual goal is for her to never reach that level of obsession where she has to keep washing, but for now persuading her that her hands are clean will momentarily calm her down. I haven’t gone through ERP yet but what I’ve heard from many others is that the OCD gets worse before it gets better, simply because you are forced to confront those thoughts in ways you haven’t before. It can get really tough when you forcibly engage with your triggers. Praying she overcomes this!!!!
@Cinnamoroll What are thoughts on when it’s too much. She will stay in a cold shower and freeze. She burned her hand yesterday from water being too hot. She could t bring herself to turn on the cold water. I was at work when this happened. She now has a blister on her hand from it. I’m just not sure if she needs more intense therapy or if this will work its way through.
@Anonymous I would definitely let the therapist know, maybe they need to slow down the exposures since it seems right now she is highly overwhelmed, and the stress from ERP may be contributing to that. I’m not sure if increasing the intensity would help, it would likely make it worse. Especially if she’s causing harm to herself, I would definitely contact her therapist.
@Anonymous here Yes. Her therapist is from Nocd
@Cinnamoroll I was thinking like inpatient. Before therapy everything was a trigger and it’s pretty much the same. But she ends up getting hurt with some of her compulsions
@Anonymous here Yep. I’d definitely tell her therapist, and proceed from there. There are also hotlines (even OCD specific ones based on a quick search on the internet!) available if she’s in an extreme situation and needs someone to talk to; that is, until you can get her the help she needs, whether that’s more ERP therapy, or admittance somewhere. Best of luck!!!! We are rooting for her! Is she on this app? There’s plenty of people happy to support her on here. ☺️ Both @Anonymous here and I have contamination OCD, so we relate to her struggle.
@Anonymous here It’s just that I worry so much about her. I wish I could fix it for her
@Anonymous Just being on here and seeking as much understanding as possible on your daughter’s struggle is more than enough. The fact she has such a wonderful support network through you is going to do so much to help her recover!!! Above all things, she knows is not suffering alone. You are with her and supporting her. You are doing great. ❤️
She is early 30s. They are working on smaller things. I have not met her therapist and not sure if she has mentioned it. She is not able to work or shop for herself so it is affecting her life. She will avoid going out or doing things even if it hurts her. So I’m trying to figure out how to help her. I’ve tried distraction but she called it out and won’t do it. So now I’m reaching out here to see if others have ideas on how to help her. I do appreciate you taking the time to reply.
She has been washing her hands for over an hour now and is crying and so upset but can’t seem to stop. Should I try to help or let her go through the process. She is so upset right now
Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.
She's been dealing with this for years but I've never seen her like this. She has her first visit with a nocd therapist tomorrow. How can I help her?
I’m starting NOCD. I had several years of cbt as a child (well over 20 years ago) and I see a trauma therapist. But now I’ll be seeking further help for OCD and just really scared. CBT wasn’t helpful for me. How has ERP been helpful for you? Do you feel like you’ll finally get your life back? I’m consumed by my obsessions 😢 Would love others feedback if ERP helped you ❤️
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