ROCD

Please does anyone else have the same thoughts and feelings as I do who suffer with ROCD (bearing in mind I love my boyfriend, he’s the kindest most loving boy and I love him with all my heart) we spend all day laughing with eachother! I’m constantly like: You don’t love him, this isn’t right with him, you’re horrible for stringing him along, break up with him, break up with him, did you ever actually love him, you’re probably a lesbian, you don’t find him attractive, there’s nothing between you two Then in other moments when I’m not feeling this I literally could cry with how amazing he is! 😢🙈

General statement/question for anyone who can possibly relate: I've been struggling with ROCD for about 3 months now, the typical "do I actually love him", "what if I don't and I'm just leading him on", "why don't I feel connected any more, this must mean something is wrong with us", "planning the future makes me anxious because we might break up"...the list goes on. I've been especially struggling these past few days. I want a big future with this man and I've never second guessed it until all these intrusive thoughts have come into my life with a bang. I hate them. I feel so emotionally drained and incapable of enjoying the moments I have with him because I'm constantly thinking about the things missing. The fact I struggle to stay present. As we all probably know the age old reassurance after an anxiety inducing thought- I do this fairly often, googling my thoughts and why I'm feeling this way. I am so beyond exhausted. I know I want to marry this man and a future with him isn't scary, it's just significant moments that trigger me and suddenly I'm spiring into the OCD cycle again. I just want to know other people feel the same? I've been feeling so flat and disconnected from everyone, especially him which breaks my heart. I know I love him, so deeply - even writing that my brain said "are you sure you do?". I just want to see if other people experience ROCD similar to me. Thanks

hi there! so after i got together with my partner, i found out i have rocd :) it's excruciating and new to me, so i really have no idea how to fight it back. i constantly have thought regarding my feelings towards him bc what if i dont love him? what if I've been pretending all this time? what if i'm confusing love for something else? i also have a really hard time processing positive and happy feelings bc i usually get this punch in my gut, as if I'm not supposed to feel that good feeling (idk if you can relate). well that too makes me believe i dont love my partner and it's really really tiring because I can't stop doubting my feelings. yk how ocd is the doubt illness so I'm used to it, but i am so so so sure that i love him, I've never been so sure about something in my life and i literally doubt everything. but what if I'm just avoiding the truth, what if I won't admit to not love him bc i dont wanna hurt him? who knows anyways it's really exhausting and i could really do some advice. thank you in advace :)