Feeling suicidal from being called harsh names

@My OCD Academia No it’s bad. I found out I got posted in this group on fb with 12,000 members. They posted a bad post about me that’s if faulty, some of it’s true but they’re harassing me and bullying and there’s not way I can take it down. I’m terrified it’s going to ruin my reputation. It’s a post dedicated to cause drama and call people out but I’m scared someone I know so going to see it

@Law24 Given that FaceBook’s demographic consist of mostly senior citizens, it’s safe to say that those 12,000 members will just see it as another post. I’m not trying to minimize the situation, I just want you to see that these people get off on drama. Nobody who spends their time on a FaceBook group dedicated to drama is a threat, lol i’m sorry.

@My OCD Academia You don’t know what I did tho. I’m scared that lost in circling around in different groups without my knowledge and bomb someone from high school or a family friend seems it. I was lowkey kinda doxxed and it was taking out on context but I’ve messaged mods and nobody is answering me.

@Law24 It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. I don’t need to know what you’ve done. Anybody who makes a page to call out others and stir up drama automatically throws out any right to be upset for any wrong doing. If you’re going to shame someone publicly after the fact they have the courage to put their pride aside and apologize, you are no better if not worse. You cannot control what others do but I am proud of you for apologizing.

@My OCD Academia I talked with someone on the suicid hotline and they honestly made me feel worse. I was crying and all she said was yea and then said well that’s gonna to get worse if it gets in the wrong group and you’re going to need to cope with that so here’s a website. And riser me off the phone

@Law24 I’m sorry that she made you feel worse. That’s not what they are there for. No matter what you did, it was a mistake, you apologized and your slate is clean. Whatever people do with that is on them and it will come back to bite them. Judgement and shame is never okay. I would suggest to try another hotline if you’re comfortable

@My OCD Academia Ik trying so hard to let it go and relax but I can’t help to think my reputation is ruined from this. Being labeled what they called me is like one of my worst fears and smh idk how imma recover or if

@Law24 Well personally, I would just acknowledge what happened has happened and whatever labels people try and put on you, is completely irrelevant. Your feelings are valid but who cares what some no lifes on FaceBook say. You did a courageous thing by apologizing, not many people ever do. Like I said before, you cannot control the actions or words of others. You also do not have to give them power. Allow yourself to distance away from those people if necessary i.e block them/the group. No need to stick around a hate group waiting for a reaction. If you’re going to criticize yourself, criticize your actions only. Don’t attach blame to yourself. Think, “okay what i did was bad, but that doesn’t mean i’m a BAD person.” For me, as a Christian, we always separate the action from the person. No matter what you did, that’s something you did, that’s not who you are. Don’t let anyone tell you differently

@My OCD Academia So how do I stop obsessing over if someone i know seems it or not and then start a rumor all over again?

@My OCD Academia And to make matters worse the group they posted me in is called once a ___ always a ___ as if u can’t change like that’s who I are forever. The sad part is I can’t even explain myself and it’s just *some* false stuff circulating

@Law24 Well instead of trying to assume they have or haven’t, just allow yourself to be unsure. That’s was OCD is. It wants you to be 100% sure nobody you know has seen it. It’s social media, anyone can have seen it. Firstly , tell yourself “maybe they have, maybe they haven’t.” This allows you to not reassure yourself. Sit with that anxiety of not knowing. Secondly, allow yourself to be comfortable not knowing and quite frankly, not caring if someone you know has seen it. If they are a family or friend, they should know you enough to not make a judgement off a facebook post lol. I’ve had family members see some horrible things i’ve posted as a stupid teenager (you’re not stupid fyi, i am 😂) and not one of them have seen me differently.

@Law24 I’ve been around social media and cancel culture enough to kinda put 2 and 2 together. The group is just like a nasty middle school bully group who pick on the people who don’t have a loud enough voice. Irrelevant as hell, give them no reaction. Success is the best revenge. Don’t fight fire with fire, let yourself know who you are.

@My OCD Academia The group name being called once a ___ always a ___ as if u can’t change like that’s who I are forever I’d triggering me so bad. My moral ocd

@Law24 Well considering how much this is affecting you, it’s clear that you value your morals. We’ve all said and done things we cannot take back. It’s okay, we live and learn. It’s not to say we got off easy because us people with OCD, we don’t let things go unfortunately. I suffer from nasty guilt and I understand how you feel. Your feelings are valid and It’s okay to feel the way you do. I don’t want you to feel this way, but I don’t look at you any differently regardless of what you’ve done in your life.

@My OCD Academia Can I tell u what they accused me of?

@Law24 If you feel comfortable sharing. I wouldn’t mind. Just want to respect you and your boundaries

@My OCD Academia Said I was a scammer. I can explain u want/don’t mind

@Law24 Please, share. I’m here to listen

@My OCD Academia It’s a long one

@My OCD Academia *Before I post this. I wanna say that I understand what I did was disingenuous and seemed shady and I have apologized but I still feel like it got out of hand when I cannot defend myself now my name is slandered in a group and idk where else and I’m scared. And before u come for me and call me a scammer etc. That was not my intention AT ALL, however I do see how it came across to others and i apologize for what. OK so here is what happened. I joined this mutual aid group on Facebook which if you don’t know it’s basically a group where people post that they need help financially like they’ll make posts about needing food or needing help with buying something, etc. and it’s actually not a scam group like a lot of them on Facebook so I have my main Facebook account that I was making post about needing help which I did and how the group works is in order to get your post seen to the people who can help you. You need a lot of comments and likes to boost exposure. Also, in the group rules they don’t say that it’s a limit of how much you can post, but I did not want to seem needy so instead of just posting on my main account, I also joined the group in my side account that I have, but I would make separate posts asking for funds that I needed. I would never double post to try to get double the funds for the same thing. I made a post today and I realized I accidentally use my main cash app tag and I guess they caught on to that and banned me from the group. I by no means scammed anyone because people that see your post decide if they want to cash app you or not. All the post that I made were legit request that I used for what I asked for. There was no rule about how much u could post. A post was made about me in a scammer group outing my name and everything and I cannot take it down. I’ve gottrn harassed by 6 people now in groups that have nothing to do with that group. I don’t feel virtual safe at all. what scares me most is someone I know or who knows of me seeing that and it getting around. I feel like it’s going to haunt me forever. I haven’t even been able to sleep and my anxiety has been going crazy. I already struggle with severe depression/anxiety disorders and it’s hard at to keep a job hence why I keep asking for funds. Anyways, if you’ve made it this far, please do not send me hate. And before u say I was trying to double the funds no!! That wasn’t my thought process at all! Even tho it looked like that. And now random people I don’t even know are talking about me in some group , my friend joined the group and it’s 64 comments talking shit and laughing at me calling my all kind of stuff.

@Law24 Banning you from the group should have been the end of it. Posting you on a different group and shaming you is completely unacceptable behavior. If there was a rule you were unaware of and they decided to ban you, so be it. That’s just a consequence. Even if you purposely deceived others, being shamed is still not ok. The only thing that should come from this is, is the ban.

@My OCD Academia And they banned me which was understood. But its gone too far. When I made an apology and someone screen shot in the group, someone was like u should feel guilty, u manipulated people and saying i feel sorry for those around her. My brain must be fucked up cus malicious intent was not my intention at all. I’m trying everything I can to get it taken down. I can’t rest until it is. Been up all night.

@Law24 You did what you had to do which was apologize. Anything else is out of your control

@My OCD Academia U think I’m bad don’t u? You’re tone/messaging calmed down 😓

@Law24 No, absolutely not. My tone calmed down because I’m just repeating my statement lol. I don’t think you’re a bad person. I’ll only say that once since i don’t want to give you reassurance. Allow yourself to sit with this anxiety

@My OCD Academia It’s betting bad. I can’t even relax and try to get on tik tok without being like who this whole comment section new what I did. They’d cancel and shame me. Like I feel like I need to confess to everyone I see

@Law24 I’m not sure TikTok is a good idea seeing as many of NOCD posts I see are trigger posts about a TikTok they saw

@My OCD Academia Yea tik tok is triggering but I need a distraction, Facebook does not feel safe for me rn. My mind is telling me everyone is watching out for me and talking about me people on there are mean af

@My OCD Academia Sorry for being annoying but Update… the mod of the group responded to my long ass apology and it didn’t go well. And now it’s worse. Apparently in that group they’re stalking my profile watching my every move like police. I changed my Facebook name but instead of caring about my apology, they noticed my name was changed and updated that in the group. I mentioned to the kid why I changed my name and she had her own narrative that I changed it because I was trying to scam again lol… what?? Now they’re making up narratives. She refuses to remove the post. And she might make another post about my apology. I was trying to make peace but made it worse. And now my ocd is going to the extreme of overthinking. I can’t stop obsessing and I feel physically sick and dizzy. My brown keeps telling me I’m a horrible manipulator person and nobody is going to ever trust me again and everybody is going to be scared of u once they find out (although I know I would never do anyone bad) I deserve everything and this mistake is going to make your life worse and you’re going to suffer.

@Law24 You’re not annoying. I completely understand how you feel. Right now, it’s best you leave that group alone and stop trying to make amends with them. They are just a hate group not interested in peace. Nothing you say or do will make them change their minds. Block them, and move on. If people are going to talk bad about you, let them. This is affecting you badly because they are attacking your character and making claims that aren’t true. Leave them alone and move on. They are not interested in respectful dialogue, it’s like talking to a brick wall. They have this blurred image of you and nothing you say to them will change their perspective. Who cares what randoms on facebook have to say. You know you had no ill intention, move on. I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself but you will not be getting anywhere with those people. It’s best you just allow yourself to sit with the anxiety of not knowing what will happen next.

@My OCD Academia I’m still trying to calm down. But is it an compulsion to start looking back in your life and evaluating everything you’ve done? I feel the urge to confess everything and see what people think, to see if they think I’m horrible or ok. I can’t stop obsessing

@My OCD Academia Idk why but this situation randomly hit me out the blue today and I’m triggered all over again hyperventilating freaking out