Just want to be a Child of God

I don't want to scare you because Im going through the same thing you are. First you are mentally ill and that is not fault. Jesus said we have these disabilities that the works of God can be shown forth. Now I want to say Satan knows how much you love Christ he knows you very well and while you are down he is attacking you. In Revelations it says Satan accused us before God both day and night telling us we are not good enough and we cannot make it back to him. So here is the cure! God has given us medicine in our day to help balance out our chemical unbalance. He has also inspired us with the ERP therapy so that we can be healthy again. Here is the most important thing! This trial you are going through is so important to Gods work for you in the future. He is going to use you to bring many souls to him. He is going to exalt you on high. In order to become what we need to become we have to be tempted and go through trials. If you are praying for deliverance he will deliver you. He promises he will. We have to do our part as well. You are an agent unto yourself and have so much more power than all of hell combined. You are going to overcome and you will be so wonderful after that you will thank God for this trial.

I feel the same way. You are not alone.

I am not sure what would be best to write 🙏🏻❤ and I hope I will not be saying anything wrong 💙 I really would like to thank you for your honesty here.. it is very courageous.. I am a christian too and for a long while I did struggle with the same fears I think you are struggling with.. I know it can be extremely hard.. (I am not sure if this would be your experience too, but I used to be a bit confused when other christians did not seem to struggle with these things as much) I am not sure why and how it got better, but I think Jesus has slowly and steadily healed and helped me with this.. Eventually, I did notice progress, I am not sure how ❤ But He will hold you fast and nothing can steal you from His hand, though OCD might make you doubt this, it is very true!! ❤ I do not mean to give wrong advice here, so I am very sorry if I may; but I wonder if it might be an idea for you to talk to a pastor about this, perhaps explaining to him a little bit of what OCD /your fears is/are like? of course I am not aware of your situation, and if you can attend a safe and warm church♡ but it may be very helpful for you if your pastor/spiritual leader(s) knew about your struggles❤ so they may explain biblical matters to you in a more 'nuanced' way, because of these fears.. and lastly, I am not sure if this might help 😊 but I was wondering; might perhaps a bit of a "light" christian book (perhaps a book with daily mediations/little bits of text on a certain bible verse/chapter/book could be helpful? Or perhaps listening to hymns or music that would not trigger you 😊) if I can speak for myself, when I feel easily scared, light reading and verses about how God loves us and how His love is unconditional, could help a little 😊("Come to Me, all you who are weary and are burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28) ( But sorry, I really do not mean to be overwhelming you!!)

I’m a theologian in school at University of the Nations. Would love to jump on a phone call with you sometime and talk to you about some of your confusion about how to repent and believe and bring some clarity to that situation of yours. (619)905-9707

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