Hard to keep going.

I just want to rot in bed. My crush told me he likes someone else yesterday. I made sure to be supportive and cheer him on because I care about him. But it hurts. I dont even want to talk to him anymore. I wish we never met. I'm dreading going to my job. I'm not good at it. I know im not good at it. My coworkers had a meeting with me just to tell me how bad I am at it. I'm trying so, so hard. It hurts to love your job and have everyone be upset with you over it when you're doing your best. I'm laying in bed anxious. I'm depressed. I have to go to work later. I dont know how I'm going to fake it.

"Pure" OCD

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 43w ago

Hey.. I'm sorry that things didn't turn out like you thought with your crush. I'm really sorry. But please don't beat yourself up over this. Do you think your co workers say that about you or are they genuinely telling you this and treating you unfairly? If so, I would speak to management about it or leave it management doesn't do anything about it. That's seriously not cool at all. Just try to take things slow. Mainly be kind to yourself. That's really difficult but you should do it even if you feel like it won't work. That's what got me out of bed today and sort of lifted up my mood. I'm sorry today isn't going so well.

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 42w ago

This is what I get for thinking I could be in a relationship despite everything wrong with me. And my coworkers have sat me down and expressed their grievances personally. And management made an announcement about their grievances and a lot of it seemed indirectly about me. The entire day I've just been on the verge of tears. I want to be kind to myself but I can't even think of anything nice to say.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 42w ago

@Northern_Downpour You DO deserve a relationship. You are a human being that felt attraction to another person and that's normal. It's just.. they had someone else too. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with you at all. That doesn't mean anything about you. You are not a bad person or wrong for feeling that way about someone. Your job doesn't sound like it has nice people in it. I would leave if they make you feel bad throughout the day. Please take it easy.. I can help you with being kind to yourself. You're a very nice person, you're very understanding, caring, compassionate, and polite. You've helped me with so much and I'm more than happy to return the favor. You're a great person that I met on here and you deserve kindness. You're human just like I am. By default, you deserve that kindness. I promise, you are loved, you are okay and you are a great person.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 43w ago

I'm sorry. Heart break is no fun. You aren't responsible for being his support system. You deserve to be your own. Keep your distance if that helps. Job stress can be really hard. If they know that you're trying, and that you want to do better, hopefully they can respect that everyone is human and that you might just need time to get better at it. I would maybe say, don't fake it, communicate to someone in the work place who can help. Let them know you're trying and need help. I don't know... I hope things are better today. Take care.

Username: 3rdeyenotblind3rdeyenotblind

Date posted: 43w ago

If your job doesn’t get better I would really suggest trying to find something else. It’s not good to dread going to work everyday. I say this only if you can’t think of ways to make your current job not as toxic. I also know it’s not easy to just leave a job and find something else but it won’t be good for your mental health to stay in a bad situation. I hope everything works out though.

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 42w ago

Unfortunately I can't leave my job until the summer 🫠

Username: mummers

Date posted: 5y ago

*venting* I’m so tired of life. I just woke up, and I feel like going back to bed and sleep until this nightmare passes. This week has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t think I can face another day of intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety. I need some moments of relief, but there are none. I wanna have a life again. Anxiety and obsessive thoughts have killed my social life, my ambitions and desires, my happiness. I’ve been fighting for the past 6 months for nothing. I don’t see any improvement. I’m on day 3 of Lexapro and of course i can’t tell if it’s gonna work for me or not. I’m on the first stages of ERP therapy and I still haven’t got any assigned homework to work on, which I really need because I need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to help myself with ocd and Gad. I just hope someone could just take out whatever part of my brain isn’t working properly and replace it with a new piece. I don’t wanna feel like a burden to my family or boyfriend anymore. I can’t believe all the damage that I’m causing. I don’t know what to do with all this self hate. I don’t know where to turn to. I seem to have all the help that one could need - therapy, medication, support system. Yet I feel like I can’t spend another day living like this.

Username: EllieJo

Date posted: 5y ago

Help please. :( As I go back to work tomorrow I find myself laying in bed fighting the tears. My fear that people are always talking about me is so bad to the point I want to call of work. This struggle is so hard to deal with. I am trying to remember that this is in my head and not real. :(

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I had to stay home from work today because even though I was exhausted I got 1 hour of sleep. I work 7 days a week between 2 jobs and I finally said today I need a mental day. I am lonelier than ever and have lost friends over the past few years or just lost touch. My best friend ever stopped speaking with me after a group tour of the UK a few years ago and now someone that was our mutual friend is best friends with her and brushes me off. I tried to reach out to my ex friend and make peace but no answer. She has many friends now and a boyfriend. I realize I had some drunk nights that make people not want to hang out with me but I was up last night feeling complete rejection to the fullest and horrible about myself. At rock bottom I have no one. On top of that I was just in a toxic relationship while living abroad and he turned out to be a chronic cheater and married with 2 kids. I have one friend who speaks to me from LA from time to time but as for here in New York I barely got anyone left and bad memories. I can’t be afraid of not going to sleep every night because of thoughts or depression. My period is due any day which doesn’t help. I was just crying so much last night. I’ve never felt so alone. I just feel like a horrible human being that no one wants to be around and I try to make it right.

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