Parents just don’t understand….

I feel like sometimes when I try to communicate my feelings or my needs with my parents, they are quick to judge. Instead of coming from a place of understanding, I feel like they like to label my thoughts and feelings as “good” or “bad” for me, even though I try to voice that those labels are the very thing that are spinning me into a loop. I feel incredibly frustrated and the mental compulsion to avoid my feelings and shut down continues to happen, but it only makes the thought pattern restart. Does anyone have any advice on how to communicate with people who may not understand, or be willing to understand? Or how to move on if understanding is not able to happen?

Relationship OCD

OCDlikewoah

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

This may not be helpful, but I've found that not discussing OCD with those who aren't supportive is something that works for me. I haven't even told my own mom about it because she has a limited amount of understanding for things like this. I don't need her or anyone else to understand what is going on in my head. I don't owe anyone any explanations for it either. A lot of my intrusive thoughts are not something that an average, non OCD human can relate to.

Stuck@theSink

Date posted: 1y ago

The only thought I can offer is, ask them to just listen. Tell them they don't need to offer their thoughts or a solution, but sometimes you just need someone to listen. I've noticed that people feel this need to try and fix things or offer a solution, but since they don't understand, their solutions aren't helpful, and then perhaps they feel frustrated. Tell them you aren't looking for a solution from them, but just an ear. Over time they will forget all this, and you will need to remind them again that you just need an ear, but this may help your conversations with them.

ListenToTheWind

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I don’t discuss my anxiety anymore I do say ‘I’m working on it’ or ‘I’m having a hard time right now’ or ‘I’m proud of my progress’ but I don’t ever detail it, justify myself or not - I let everyone come to their own conclusions and they aren’t invited in there anymore

Hobbit

Date posted: 1y ago

I have found mindfulness really helpful when interacting with my family. I try to take the role of neutral observer. It helps me observe what they say (and my emotions that come in response) without being completely swept away by it all. I can observe what's happening, acknowledge it, and sit in the discomfort (rather than getting wrapped up in trying to correct them or do compulsions). All the while, I try hold myself (and sometimes them) with self-compassion/gentleness. Self-compassion exercises really help me here as well -- because it is really hard when we want people to understand us / change their habits, but they aren't able to or ready to or willing to. To be clear, these tools don't get rid of my emotions. It still makes me sad / angry that my family holds onto their cognitive distortions / misconceptions -- but mindfulness and self-compassion help me ride the waves of my feelings. Hope this helps. I'm cheering you on! ❤️‍🩹

Forever Lear...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I sent my parents articles my therapist gave me. They explain OCD and how to support me better. If your parents are open to it, talk to them. Mine had no clue how severe my OCD was. They didn't know how I was suffering until I educated them about OCD. I've had extremely intrusive negative thought since I was 17... they could not help me then but they are trying to support me now. You have to tell them that they are hurting you. Mine had no clue until I broke down and explained things to them. Crying in front of them and telling them that they were triggering episodes made them open to learning. They didn't know how their actions were impacting my mental health. Tell them what you NEED to be your best self.

🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 20w ago

Pocd//Suicide//depression

So I and my mom got into this big fight yesterday and I said some things I didn't mean to say to her and she said some things and I know what I said was bad but what she said cut deep in me because Even though what I said to her wasn't good her words hurt because going through wat om going through rn is honestly the worst thing a human can go through my worries and fears now all of a sudden now become feeling of Suicide and self-harm and honestly she's right because at this point I'm at a dead end and there's no going back I didn't tell her what was actually going on with me because I know she will never look at me the same and growing up with parents that are Gen x back in the day mental illness is a fucking joke to them apparently and is not taken seriously not all of them are like this but I know a few now I've been thinking about offing myself I don't think I'm gonna make it I'm really struggling.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 19w ago

This really set me back😪

The other day I made a post about being kind and supportive and not being judgmental when commenting on other people’s posts because someone made a comment on my post insinuating that I don’t have ocd and i’m actually just a bad person. At first it didn’t really bother me because I know i’m not a bad person but now my ocd is latching onto their comment and it’s making me feel horrible. My post that they commented on was about how whenever I think things to myself like how my pre teen daughter is blessed to have slim legs and not chubby thighs like mine and she’s growing up into a nice shape or my teen son has a nice shape jawline and neck and it’s good that he’s slim but he’s too slim or how all of my adult kids are so handsome/beautiful my ocd turns my random normal mom thoughts into something inappropriate. I know I don’t think of or look at my kids or any kids or young person in an inappropriate way. My ocd says I do and I was seeking support. That persons comment was so damaging for me. I tried to think maybe they have never had dark disturbing intrusive thoughts with their ocd themes and maybe they just don’t understand or maybe they have never had pocd theme or maybe they are not a parent but even if all of that were true, their comment was still so judgmental and damaging. I am struggling even more now because my ocd is latching onto that persons comment and making me feel like a horrible person. Has anyone else had this happen? How did you get through it?

squirrelobse...

Date posted: 18w ago

I desperately want help.

I feel like it's got to a point that I just can't deal with stuff on my own anymore. I've tried to help myself with compulsions and thoughts and behaviours and it helps to an extent but I feel like I just need more help. But I don't even know where to start, I've felt so ignored in the past and I don't even know where you can turn to. I'm in the UK so it's difficult, especially considering I'm only 17, to get any help for this kind of thing. I just want someone to talk to, something to help – medication, maybe? I want to try it, I want to see if it would stop the overthinking for a while. Stuff isn't as bad as it has been before, but I feel like I can't just leave this anymore. I just don't know who to turn to or where to go from here.

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Parents just don’t understand….

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