I've spent all day watching masc lesbian tiktok and It convinced me im a lesbian too, then I decided to go out to stop thinking and I went to a bar which normally Is empty. But tonight there were like 30 lesbians, It was someone's birthday, I got triggered so much. I'm still shaking from the anxiety I had all day. Life sucks.
Well done for breaking away from the tiktok hole (the more you do things like this the more it will make you doubt). I'm sorry that life threw another massive trigger your way when you were already finding it tough. I swear to god life really likes to put us to the test sometimes! Like I'll have had a tough day with intrusive thoughts and settle down to relax with a TV show then they'll be a lesbian storyline in it š¤¦āāļø it's tough when you just want a break from the relentlessness of it. You faced all this though, so praise yourself for your resilience. Tomorrow is a new day, and that's all we've got sometimes š
I donāt understand sexual orientation ocd bc isnāt it likely that thinking these things is just the process of coming out to yourself? Iād love to be educated by someone who has it. (I get scared that the term is like code for conversion therapy)
@ScaredyCat No ocd or so ocd is when u get intrusive thoughts about something u dont want for example as a girl if ur getting intrusive thoughts about other girls and the thoughts are not going away its an intrusive thoughts and doesnāt mean anything. The thoughts can feel real and there is also false attraction too which is scary
@ScaredyCat OCD is basically us overthinking and it is very bad
@ScaredyCat Basically what anonymous said. Iād also like to add that this happens to individuals of all sexual orientations as well. Someone whoās gay would worry about being straight and their identity being a lie. They donāt want to be straight, but they have constant thoughts of ābut what if I am?ā. The content of the thoughts doesnāt actually matter. You can be afraid of anything and OCD will convince you that youāre the very thing you fear bc itās the disorder of doubt. Itāll make you question and doubt anything about yourself- including sexual and gender identity. I recommend checking out this article for more info; https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-so-ocd-hocd-just-denial-sexual-orientation-ocd
@blazed Yeah Iāve been second guessing my gayness after seeing all the people second guessing their straightness. Never thought about it until this app and now Iām even more confused about my sexuality.
@3rdeyenotblind Itās probably OCD creating doubt - it latches onto the things you care about most, and itās also pretty common to āpick upā other peopleās obsessions and get stuck on it. Iāve seem many people describe their OCD in vivid detail and I started obsessing over them too. Itās no fun lol. But ofc I canāt say if itās OCD for sure in your case, but itās a possibility.
I don't know what your OCD theme(s) is/are but for us with SO OCD that's the thing that make us anxious anxious and distressed, that we struggle to tolerate uncertainty about. I'd never questioned my sexuality before and suddenly one day a thought popped into my head what if I'm a lesbian, and suddenly I was extremely anxious, laying in bed for hours ruminating, triggered by everything (like a hyper-sensitivity) - once I read my horoscope that said something very generic like your love life will hold surprises this week, and I became convinced I'd finally realise my doubt was true š plus a whole ton of other typical OCD things. I just don't think that's the same as coming out to yourself. It's a good exposure for us all but please do be mindful of dismissing other people's themes, especially in response to a post where someone is reaching out for support, it's exceptionally triggering however much we've learnt to accept a world full of uncertainty.
What you don't understand lol Sorry but it's literally just a theme of ocd, doesn't matter if someone Is actually questioning or not...i don't think you would Say to someone with harm ocd that it's Just the process of them becoming a serial killer, like we're talking about obsessions, that's the entire point of ocd. If I Will come out or not it's not relevant, thinking about It 24/7 and being stuck with these thoughts so much that you can't do anything else Is the problem here.
@ada110 Thatās why I asked for input so that I wouldnāt continue to be ignorant, so I donāt think thatās very dismissive.
@Marharet You donāt need to laugh at my confusion
@ScaredyCat The way the comment was worded did have the potential to come across as dismissive, saying isn't it just that you're actually just coming out to yourself. For those of us with this theme, this exact question is one of the key intrusive thoughts that cause such intense distress. I just wanted to make you aware of that in the hope that you would keep it in mind and not unintentionally invalidate others' OCD experiences.
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and heās a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was āWhat if i like himā, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i donāt want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts wonāt stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i havenāt met the right guy or iāll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i donāt want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the āwhat ifsā, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was āi thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriendā and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i canāt seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i donāt want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i donāt want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.
I watched the trailer for the movie āAm I Ok?ā and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers sheās a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now Iām worried that this could be me!! Iāve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now Iām wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didnāt know it.
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