Engagement ROCD

My fiancée and I are planning a wedding and up until recently I haven’t had any “cold feet” or doubt, but now that the wedding is getting closer and closer I’m feeling very anxious about if he’s “the one.” I love him so deeply but I think the permanence of marriage is scaring me. Like I would spend my whole life with him but now that there’s a label on it I’m freaked out?? He’s done nothing to cause this either. He’s an amazing beautiful lovely soul that I would LOVE to spend my life with. I just can’t get over the ruminating part of it. :( I wish I didn’t feel like this. I’ve posted about my ROC before and have posted one during this engagement process. it comes and goes but I’m just feeling very sad that it’s ruining this period of time for me.

Relationship OCD

Username: Allison JAllison J

Date posted: 41w ago

Hey! I just got married last year and I completely understand how you’re feeling. Getting engaged is what manifested the worst of my OCD and is what made me realize I struggled with it. It sucks. I can honestly say that for the entire time that I was engaged I was struggling. I know that you probably want to hear that it gets better and the answer is, it will. It just might not be right away. The more I talked to other women in my life, young and old, I realized that MOST people’s experience of marriage, either when they were engaged or in the first year, was difficult because it was such a huge change. A 70-year-old I know said she cried her whole first year of marriage—and she’s been happily married to that same man. All this to say, don’t put too much emphasis on this being the best time of your life. It might be, it might not be. Just keep committing to the recovery process, you are not alone. Plenty of people, even those without OCD, have gone through similar struggles. There’s no shame!! And it doesn’t mean that you or your marriage will be a failure

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 41w ago

@Allison J <3 thank you Allison. That helps me more than you know.

Username: Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 41w ago

Yeah as Allison J says, keep committing to the recovery process..... remember, the ruminating will pour fuel on the fire....facing the fears through ERP will greatly reduce the fear and allow you to enjoy this time, without having to have absolute certainty.....which no one truly has, when getting married or doing anything else in life.

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 41w ago

@Garrett Maguire Thank you friend.

Username: Allison JAllison J

Date posted: 41w ago

I also found that listening to the OCD stories on ROCD was really helpful for me

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 41w ago

@Allison J Listening to them on what? Is that a podcast?

Username: Allison JAllison J

Date posted: 41w ago

@Olivia2121 Yes sorry! It’s a podcast called The OCD stories

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 41w ago

@Allison J Oh word… I’ll check that out! Thank you. 🩷

Username: Cecelia B.

Date posted: 4y ago

I’m struggling with doing ERP with my rOCD right now. I feel like I have no loving feelings toward my fiancé, and if those feelings are so fickle, maybe we shouldn’t be together. What if I have rOCD AND am in the wrong relationship? Although I guess there is no WRONG relationship as long as there are no major red flags (which there aren’t). But maybe I just don’t want to be married to him? Today I feel annoyed by everything he says and does. I hate having to go through this all the time. I feel so tired.

Relationship OCD

Username: Isabella G.

Date posted: 1y ago

I really need someone to talk to…

I am scared. I love my fiancé. I love everything about him with my heart and soul. I just feel so empty. I have ROCD if you haven’t noticed lol. I keep going in cycles and phases where I feel ok with my past trauma regarding my ex partner, and feeling like maybe the trauma is still there. If you’re asking now at this point if there’s any feelings involved- no. I don’t feel romantic feelings of the sort. But, I am so scared. I am scared to see this person in public, so I don’t go out. I am scared to think about this person because what if I am thinking about them because I want them? It’s triggering, and I always make sure to not ruminate. But, as I meditate and I do ERP, I find myself feeling more lost and more susceptible to the pain of it. The trauma does not pain me anymore, it’s the thought that I might never be able to give my fiancé the life he wants. So, now I have to contemplate giving up a future that I have thought about. Waiting to make the engagement public to my family, for absolutely nothing. I love this person, they have been pure and honest and open. I am young, still. What if I am just with the wrong person, and this isn’t the person for me? It’s all a facade and delusion the COUNTLESS times I have redirected my thoughts to just tell them “You’re wrong, I love this man.” As I sit here, on the verge of crying, I wonder…. Is it even OCD, or am I just a bad person for concealing the thoughts and not giving it direct attention? Most importantly, is the man I love the one for me? Or is it truly all a joke?

Username: songbird1

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w ago

Rant/Am I Just Ruminating?

Ok so I am getting married next year. My fiancé and I have been living together for a long time. I honestly am so worried about getting married to him, because of my most disturbing thoughts about my physical attraction to him. This thought originally came up when confronting the major life decision of moving in together, and it hasn’t stopped since. I feel sick, because a lot of times these thoughts and disturbances come up when I see him and actually don’t feel attraction to him. Almost every day I have these thoughts and think that I am hurting him by marrying him. On the other hand, I don’t want to deprive myself of something that I’ve always wanted, and I don’t want to be alone. Both of these fears seem like OCD, so it seems like the universe isn’t telling me the right decision to make. Help?

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Engagement ROCD

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