Engagement ROCD

My fiancée and I are planning a wedding and up until recently I haven’t had any “cold feet” or doubt, but now that the wedding is getting closer and closer I’m feeling very anxious about if he’s “the one.” I love him so deeply but I think the permanence of marriage is scaring me. Like I would spend my whole life with him but now that there’s a label on it I’m freaked out?? He’s done nothing to cause this either. He’s an amazing beautiful lovely soul that I would LOVE to spend my life with. I just can’t get over the ruminating part of it. :( I wish I didn’t feel like this. I’ve posted about my ROC before and have posted one during this engagement process. it comes and goes but I’m just feeling very sad that it’s ruining this period of time for me.

Relationship OCD

Username: Allison JAllison J

Date posted: 37w ago

Hey! I just got married last year and I completely understand how you’re feeling. Getting engaged is what manifested the worst of my OCD and is what made me realize I struggled with it. It sucks. I can honestly say that for the entire time that I was engaged I was struggling. I know that you probably want to hear that it gets better and the answer is, it will. It just might not be right away. The more I talked to other women in my life, young and old, I realized that MOST people’s experience of marriage, either when they were engaged or in the first year, was difficult because it was such a huge change. A 70-year-old I know said she cried her whole first year of marriage—and she’s been happily married to that same man. All this to say, don’t put too much emphasis on this being the best time of your life. It might be, it might not be. Just keep committing to the recovery process, you are not alone. Plenty of people, even those without OCD, have gone through similar struggles. There’s no shame!! And it doesn’t mean that you or your marriage will be a failure

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 37w ago

@Allison J <3 thank you Allison. That helps me more than you know.

Username: Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w ago

Yeah as Allison J says, keep committing to the recovery process..... remember, the ruminating will pour fuel on the fire....facing the fears through ERP will greatly reduce the fear and allow you to enjoy this time, without having to have absolute certainty.....which no one truly has, when getting married or doing anything else in life.

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 37w ago

@Garrett Maguire Thank you friend.

Username: Allison JAllison J

Date posted: 37w ago

I also found that listening to the OCD stories on ROCD was really helpful for me

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 37w ago

@Allison J Listening to them on what? Is that a podcast?

Username: Allison JAllison J

Date posted: 37w ago

@Olivia2121 Yes sorry! It’s a podcast called The OCD stories

Username: Olivia2121Olivia2121

Date posted: 37w ago

@Allison J Oh word… I’ll check that out! Thank you. 🩷

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 4y ago

Hi All, I (22F) have been suffering from HOCD for the past three months. I am engaged to the man I want to be with. However, I can't kick OCD. I was recently aroused when looking at a model in lingerie. The lingerie was objectively sexy and I briefly thought about how she was posing for a man with her breasts out. Likewise, I thought about how sexy it would be if I wore that. But, now I'm terrified. If I can get these responses from the female body-not the male body-that must surely mean something. Likewise, I have trouble orgasming during sex and I don't always love making out. But, I really don't think I'm a lesbian? Long story short, I need help getting over this. I'm in college and I can barely study. All I do is worry. I can't even enjoy my engagement at this rate because I'm convinced I'm in denial. This sexual arousal gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, especially considering I have been turned on by stuff like this in the past. If anyone has any helpful words, please let me know. I am not seeking reassurance, but I felt this backstory was necessary to explain why this fear has been so potent. There may be some real attraction here, which terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy life and improve sex with my fiance but I'm feeling hopeless. If anyone has any words of advice, it would be deeply appreciated.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: EM77

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel terrible and guilty writing this. I find my boyfriend’s best friend really physically attractive, maybe more attractive than my boyfriend. It’s giving me a serious case of “the grass is greener elsewhere” feelings. I find my boyfriend more emotionally attractive though. There’s a lot of “icks” with the other guy but I can’t get past his good looks. My boyfriend and I have similar values and he’d be a great life partner. The other guy, I’m pretty sure, would be emotionally unavailable in a relationship as he’s not looking for anything serious which feels familiar to me as in the past I only fell in love with emotionally unavailable men. My boyfriend isn’t the most conventionally attractive guy, he’s average but sometimes I think he’s really attractive and he does turn me on. I’ve experienced ROCD thoughts since the beginning (am I in love, do I find him attractive enough?). Last weekend was amazing, we’d spent two weeks not seeing each other because we were both away and coming back together felt like the honeymoon phase again. I was so in love and told him I loved him whilst looking him in the eyes and I didn’t doubt my feelings at all. We talked about getting engaged and I was whole heartedly in it. His best friend has become another focus of my anxious thoughts but there’s some truth behind it which makes me more worried and more convinced I shouldn’t be in this relationship. It feels unfair on him but I want him to be my forever. Please don’t be harsh if you comment, it’s taken a lot to type this out and get it off my chest

Relationship OCD

Username: 🫠

Date posted: 1y ago

Total Panic

After having a peaceful couple weeks, I'm panicked and on edge. I'm getting married in a few weeks and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel like I *NEED* to know my sexuality. My current therapist doesn't think I have OCD, only that I have an attachment wound that needs healing. I don't really have parents anymore and only some of my family are attending the wedding. I suspect I have SO-OCD, because of the desperate need to know if I'm bisexual or secretly a lesbian. Ever since spiraling again, *every* thought goes back to questioning my sexuality, or the sexuality of others. I even get triggered by seeing hugging sisters. Before I thought I had SO-OCD, I was desperately trying to figure out if my partner was "the one". Now that I'm engaged the theme has changed and now I need to figure out my sexuality. I'm not looking for reassurance but I guess posting here gives some kind of relief. What can someone do in my situation? I feel like there's a timer to everything and I need to know ASAP. I don't want to start ERP right now. Can NOCD still help without doing ERP? Thank you, thank you x

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