SO OCD support?

Does anyone feel like they “like” their intrusive thoughts? Like after a while the fear and the disgust you used to feel about the thoughts becomes numb and you wonder if you just like it? And that the thoughts are happening bc you just like and want that thing? I’m beyond confused. I (23F) still feel like on some level I know I want to be with men and end up with a man. But I’m growing unsure there’s a man that has what I need in a partner and am not happy in my current relationship which certainly isn’t helping my case lol. I’ve been dealing with this for almost 7 months and I’m so tired of the incessant thoughts and physical responses I feel like I should just give up and give in.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: Anonymous///Anonymous///

Date posted: 36w ago

I just wanna be happy and content with my sexuality again. Exhausted by this constant dialogue in my head

Username: Anonymous Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 36w ago

I relate so much.

Username: Anonymous///Anonymous///

Date posted: 36w ago

@Anonymous Sending you love and strength. This is so hard

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 36w ago

I relate incredibly so. I’m male 36. Had no reason to ever question my attraction to women until I was 26. Sudden onset of obsession about feeling nothing for a gf. Grew into SOOCD. Over the years it’s just consumed me. Every day I’m sick with anxiety about it. It’s been so consuming that I fear the thoughts I like it. Or want it. It’s so convincing and as soon as it feels too real, it’s like I give up the response prevention and just collapse in a heap.

Username: Anonymous///Anonymous///

Date posted: 36w ago

@gp I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this too. It’s VERY convincing and feels sometimes like all the evidence is pointing towards the opposite of what you want… what we need to keep in mind is this is what OCD does. It evolves and gets smarter and sometimes louder but it’s still OCD and doesn’t reflect the truth. Sending you strength.

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 36w ago

@AnonymousOrange You put it so well. It’s like all the evidence points to what I don’t want. But then it convinces you that you might want it. It’s horrible

Username: ambermayxambermayx

Date posted: 36w ago

Yes , everytime i get them it convinces me I wanted the thoughts and like them and it scares me because the thoughts disgust me

Username: AnxiousMind24AnxiousMind24

Date posted: 36w ago

I relate so much to this! Especially the part where you wrote about being unsure if there’s a man that has what you need in a partner. I feel this way too, like my standards are so high and my mind uses this against me to tell me that it means I need to be with a woman then. But every time I picture that scenario, I feel very sad and empty… Giving up and giving in has been on my mind too, but I feel like it’ll be such horrible experience, which will leave me more empty and confused. So sending you lots of support, you’re not alone!

Username: kytalker

Date posted: 1y ago

Help

Hi everyone! I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the way that I did about something related to SO-OCD… I’m finally discovering that I might have this sub genre of OCD and have had it for a very long time. I have always felt awkward around other women especially in more intimate situations (like changing in the same room, laying in bed together or giving compliments about looks). All of this hit me like a ton of bricks when I got into a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago and our sex life started to decline after about 9 months of us being together. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and I obsess over finding out why I have grown not attracted to him sexually. Am I a lesbian? Am I just depressed? Am I falling out of love with him? Was I ever in love with him? The list goes on and my obsession with it grows stronger. I’m so scared I will have to break up with him because I do love him and love spending time with him. I’m scared to start ERP therapy because I’m worried I’ll realize that it’s best to just let him go 😭

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: Vee <3

Date posted: 44w ago

Ok so here’s where I’m confused…

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that I only push them out of my mind when I know that they’re completely outrageous. When I get intrusive thoughts that are more convincing, I want to make sure that the content of the thought doesn’t bother me before I push it out. And this is what sucks because why is my own judgement not enough? I know I’m a lesbian. I know that I never want to be with a man. Why do my thoughts keep telling me “you like men and you know it” and “the only reason you avoid men is because you still like them and you know it” and “if you were to try a man, you’ll like it and you know it. That’s why you avoid them so much”??? Like bye that doesn’t even make sense. But OCD also hates facts bc as soon as I’m like “FACTUALLY, bitch, the fact that I never want to end up with a man or am even having anxiety about liking a hypothetical and what feels like inevitable future with a man is proof that I’m not attracted to them”, my brain just refuses to PROCESS THAT and just TRASHES it? OCD is SCARY.

Username: rwhit15

Date posted: 29w ago

How to deal with SO OCD flare up?

My intrusive thoughts with my SO OCD have been flaring up horribly for the past couple weeks, I think due to stress. Today has been especially bad. I’ve been experiencing false attractions with every woman I’ve been seeing today and it’s making me feel so gross that I feel anxious and sick to my stomach and that I’m going to cry. I cannot shake all the feelings in the body that make it FEEL like I’m « attracted » to them even though I know deep down it’s all fake!! I don’t know if I’m dealing with it right. I’m trying my best to just ignore the thought but the minute it stops, my ocd convinces me that I am in denial because I was able to stop and then I can’t stop thinking about that this confirms im in denial and I freak out and the process starts all over again. I don’t know if I should respond to the thought or ignore it or if what I’m doing is denial or really SO OCD. I have been ruminating on it so much the past couple weeks and it’s starting to take a turn to where I don’t remember anything except my intrusive thoughts and feelings and I am having a hard time getting things done at work and showing up to things and being fully present. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and I just want it to stop. If i was bi or gay or whatever, that’s fine!! I don’t care. But the thought of being with a woman when the fake attraction I feels makes me want to vomit makes me feel dread at the idea of dating a woman. Im currently dating a wonderful man who is a great fit for me and makes me incredibly happy. It feels like if im in denial and my intrusive thoughts are right, i will have to break up with him and that thought alone destroys me. I could go on about how I have only liked, loved and been attracted to men my entire life and have never wanted to be with a woman in any other way besides a friend but I feel like that will just make my anxiety worse. I have been dealing with SO OCD on and off since puberty but it got incredibly more severe the past couple years. Does anyone have any constructive advice about how to deal with the rumination? Should I ignore it? Should I sit with it and accept the fact that it might be true? Anything would help thank you!!

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