Hi everyone. I’m alana and I’m 21 years old. I have been in a relationship with a great guy for almost 3 years now. My past with relationships were very crappy and I have a bad past with men period because of my dad not being a father figure for me. In this relationship I am constantly overthinking and doubting everything. Now right now my mind is calm. But when it’s not it’s like a whole thing of destruction going on up there that no one can stop. I see a counselor, I am on medicine for severe depression and anxiety and am on a mood stabilizer as well. I was never diagnosed with OCD though but I know it lingers somewhere. My doubts are always towards my boyfriend. But my depression knocks me down with the thoughts and I don’t even get out of bed. I literally talked to a psychic and she said I have nothing to worry about and so did my counselor. Any advice on how to handle it all?

Do you reassurance seek from your boyfriend about your doubts? Or any other compulsions?

It sounds like ocd. I was always diagnosed with anxiety or depression before I found out it was actually ocd. If it is ocd I would recommend doing ERP which is different than how anxiety and depression are normally treated!

Its hard for every girl to find hapiness in a relationship if dad is not a role model . Cause you dont 6know how you should be treated and how a healthy relationship should look like. You're still very young . Don't be harsh for yourself . I'm 26 and still not sure exactly how a good relationship should be. My father is also not a good example for me ( we don't even talk since years) . It's good you take meds . Depression is terrible and makes you see reality in grey colours.

It is really hard but it’s not impossible I know that. I see a counselor so it’s better and yes I do seek reassurance from him and he knows about my doubts. Everyone tells me the mind is the most destructive thing I always listen to my heart. I have thoughts about leaving but I know if I wanted to leave I wouldn’t be so been out of shape out it. I get really severe panic attacks when these thoughts come and when they’re done they leave me emotionally drained.