Mental Health Victory Turned Into Major Upset

I’m having a rough time rn. My parents both told me that they don’t think I could or should be a dr (I’m going to be a sr in college this year). They said that I have too many and too intense of problems to be one - I’ve got OCD, depression, and dermotillomania (skin picking). Normally, I brush things ppl say off pretty easily, but not w my parents. I love them and really care about their opinion. But it’s making me even more depressed, as one of the last things I was holding onto was the thought that I would be able to use my experiences to be an even better dr than I would have been before getting these things. I’ve been suicidal for a long time but I always told myself that I was going to get through this and use it to help ppl. But it’s tearing away my last shreds knowing that not even the ppl I care about the most think I can achieve my dreams. ?

I’m nearly out of options, my parents are absolute dickheads and assholes, they’ve been helping me with my OCD for 5 months and have just told me they’ve given up and don’t want to help me anymore, they, I quote, ”don’t want to suffer with me”, their suffering being just closing the door behind me because I’m scared I will close it on my cats by accident or occasionally move solething to a safer spot in case it light fall on my cats like knifes, forks etc. And buying me disposable paper plates and forks to eat with and they call that suffering witb me... When I spent the past 5 months constantly being anxious about my cats’ safety, spending sleepless nights crying my eyes out wishing I was normal and doing upwards to hours of compulsions daily to make sure my cats’ envioremenement was safe and taking care of them, not to mention all the days wasted preventing myself frol having fun doing things I enjoy to punish myself from my actions and intrusive thoughts, that’s my suffering, I don’t want to be a selfish prick, but I think I’m justiified in saying my suffering outweights theirs a thousandfold. My dad yelled at me, saying I’m not doing anything to get better?! Like, is he stupid? Does he think I’m the one delaying my appointement with my psychiatrist? My psychiatrist is the one who was supposed to see me last month but told me he couldn’t at the very last minute because he had a meeting to attend to... And no other psychiatrist are available for now and have an even bigger waiting list. He told me I wouldn’t see a doctor to get some medication when I already have medication, I’ll see the doctor when I’ll see I’m running out, I’m not refusing to see one. He said I should find a job when I’m already at uni and don’t have the physical and mental strenght to do that yet. He yelled at me to stop with my OCD immediatly or he’ll kick me out of the house knowing I have nowhere to go.

So my biological father had a talk with me a couple hours ago. I’ve been trying to process it and honestly it’s not affecting me as much as I thought it would. Anyway so here’s what happened: he told me that I should be careful what I claim. (For context I told my bio parents that I had ocd and possibly schizophrenia due to some signs I’ve noticed) he thinks I’m making this up, to quote this bastard; “I don’t know what game you’re playing…” and he also said that I might’ve been influenced by social media and im attention seeking. In the car he also said that if word got out that I do have a mental illness then no one is going to want to work for me or want me on the road (now I’m not learning how to drive anytime soon, I’m 16 and was supposed to learn this summer because next year I’m going to college) but that’s not the worst of it. It’s the fact that he said I’m causing THEM problems by having mental problems and asking for help. Help that I really need because I have tried to take my life and cut myself a few times now. I’ve also resorted to drinking to numb the pain. But now I’m going to have to tell them that I am in fact fine and have no mental illness because even though I need help, I value my freedom to get away from them than I do getting help. He has told me to go to hell and that he doesn’t care about me multiple times and every time I knew he wasn’t lying when he said he wished this would happen but now there’s no denying it. He never cared and will never care. My bio mother lets this happen and tries to convince he he’s a good guy who does these things because he cares. Someone who cares about me wouldn’t do this. Both of them can go fuck themselves. Thank you for listening to my rant talk 😻🫶‼️