Please I'm very sad (about daydreaming)

I already made a post about this but I have theory over what might’ve happened because I can’t really stop freaking out about how much like me it felt. My boyfriend told me his cousin grabbed his other cousin’s girlfriend’s boob while drunk. Later, I started imagining it happening to me, with my boyfriend getting defensive (I love drama-filled moments in stories). Then, I thought, “Why couldn’t it have been me?” and got scared. I know I like attention, and I’m worried that’s why it felt so real. I almost felt excited. I’m wondering if it was just an intrusive thought or if my brain was mixing up the daydreaming feeling with that. Later that night, I started thinking about how I could position myself to make it more likely to happen, and I immediately felt horror. I’m into things like CNC, and I’m wondering if my brain got confused, mixing the daydreaming excitement with that preference, which is why it felt so real? I don’t know. I’m feeling scared because it genuinely felt like me both times. Has anyone else experienced this kind of brain confusion? Is that even possible?

I guess you can say I’ve been maladaptive day dreaming. I never had a good childhood I would go to sleep and pray I never woke up around the age up 10 I found daydreaming as a way to cope with the trauma and I’ve been daydreaming since, I still do it now. I always think im gonna meet the love of my life and they would love me for me and accept my ocd and make me feel beautiful and I’ll be rich ( I didn’t grow up with money). But then I would have to come to a realization that I’m not getting better, I’m still insecure with trauma. No friends or family to know what I’m going through and it’s hard wanting a reality you can’t have.

Guys, I would like help with maladaptive daydreaming and impulsivity. What would both be in OCD? I've always had daydreams. But it was something I did because I liked creating stories. But recently I've noticed that sometimes when I'm stressed, if I think about a situation, it feels like I'm going to imagine it or want to imagine it. When I say don't do it, it feels like it's basically going to happen. I talked here the other day about what if I try to create a compulsion to get out of my subject? Yesterday I was so anxious and I did this counting thing. Then it came to my mind, "put something like, if you don't do this, someone will suffer harm." And I don't want that. And I don't even want to create this compulsion because I would know that it would be worse because I would never risk it. But the thing is, even though I had a clear idea, it seemed like I was going to do it. I just wouldn't let it happen. Is that daydreaming? Is that impulsiveness? This has happened to my OCD theme before. But I had the feeling that I wasn't taking things seriously. That I was being childish. But I don't do it on purpose, it seems like I can't get out of the habit. Thanks for the help!