Iām hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, Iāve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are:
- I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I donāt do certain things in a specific way, it just doesnāt feel "just right."
- I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I donāt.
- I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home.
- When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again.
- I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I canāt cover them with a bandaid.
- I canāt use dishes that have just been washed because I think they havenāt been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored.
When I type (like on emails or texts), Iāll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right."
- I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them.
- I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I canāt stop until everything is in the right order.
- I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I donāt.
- Iāll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away.
- Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real.
- Iāve always felt like Iām being watched, which causes a lot of distress.
Thereās more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just canāt stop them even when I know theyāre kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?