Username: Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

Ocd parenting

I was trying to help my child take their shoes off but they wanted to be independent and do it alone. They were struggling and getting frustrated so I tried to help. But their foot was resting on their knee and lap. After they got mad i was trying to help i said okay and walked away. I worry should i have not grabbed the shoe since it was on their lap. Should i have waited till they put their foot down. Did i do anything inappropriate? Should i just have not offered help. It sucks having ocd as a parent. I love my child. Want to help. Dont want to hurt or do something bad. Ocd constantly freaks out if i did something bad

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w ago

We are strong fathers no matter what our mind games try to play on us. Let's stick together gentlemen...

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 39w ago

Im in same position as you. Do you ever question or worry about why you did something because the thoughts are always there? From what I read- I think this is just your ocd and you didn’t do anything wrong. I feel you on this one for sure

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

Im currently in the middle of moving to another country so ive noticed my ocd and anxiety are high whereas these symptoms were less impactful and more manageable last year

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 39w ago

I'm sorry you have this struggle. But do you know...you are asking for reassurance? Reassurance is bad for you - it only feeds your OCD. Learn as much as posdibke about OCD and the OCD loop. You can break the pattern by resisting to answer the "what if's".

Username: Mr. BaldbasticMr. Baldbastic

Date posted: 39w ago

This sucks cause OCD enters the mind easy. And resisting compulsions is hard. We gotta practice on resisting.

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 39w ago

@Mr. Baldbastic Yes, all of us know it's hard - but we can train our brain to do hard things.

Username: Mr. BaldbasticMr. Baldbastic

Date posted: 39w ago

@Estrid Yeah after a while... We're just very impatient.

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

@Estrid Youre right reassurance is an compulsion. How can i resist and combat the what ifs?

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 39w ago

@Anonynmous19 I have had very difficult with this as so many of us, I have learned a lot about living with uncertainty from Kimberley Quinlan, mindfulness and the book "Needing to know for sure" Winston,Seif. It takes time and practice, after a while you will see that you have a choice to respond in another way.

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

@Estrid Thank you very much!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w ago

I know this is probably not the best statement to make, but it sure is nice to hear other fathers out there with these thoughts/feelings.

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

@Anonymous I understand your intent is out of empathy for those with the same struge

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 39w ago

@Anonymous Thought I was alone

Username: AWAnonymousAWAnonymous

Date posted: 39w ago

Hello, Just want to pop in and say you aren’t alone. Reading this was probably reassuring for me too - but we have to remember one thing. If our thoughts cause distress, chalk it up to OCD. Easier said than done my friend - I have the same exact things happen. 🩷

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

@Anonymous Appreciate the help. Great advice. Ocd is distressing not happy thoughts. Makes sense

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

Its causing distress so i believe its ocd. Theres a verse in the Quran that says these thoughts r signs of our faith. The favt it causes us stress not happiness shows we have good hearts

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

Yes i agree man the thoughts constantly make me worry all the time bro.

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

I even worry if i place the blanket near her midsection is that bad but if i place it at their feet its close to her legs and i worry is that bad but im not gonna throw the blanket on their head. Its frustrating feeling like every little task is followed by an intrusive thought and worrying or doubting if you did something

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 39w ago

@Anonynmous19 Do you ever have an intrusive thought kick in while you’re doing an action and causes you to do something you don’t want to do? Like if I move this way, I’ll bump into them weird and you accidentally do it and freak after?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 39w ago

@Anonymous And to clarify never done anything overtly bad and my therapist said this was my own ocd kicking in with the anxiety. But seeing if anybody else was the same

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

*Struggle

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w ago

Absolutely, and not feeling alone and crazy.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w ago

Is it just me or does ocd make you guys feel super selfish as well. Almost like you don't have anymore space to deal with other people's daily life's?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w ago

Or feel selfish because all your really thinking about is ourselfs.

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

I feel that way all the time. In fact im ashammed i burden my partner with it and they feel its all i talk about at times. It robs our minds. I wanna be present and there for them. I do feel self consumed and selfish as a result

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 39w ago

If any dads want to start some sort of group chat "OCDad's"

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

Lets do it!

Username: Anonynmous19Anonynmous19

Date posted: 39w ago

I was praying last night with my congregation and we kneel down. It can be very tight space with everyone. And my ocd kicks in in small spaces worrying was i brushing up on the person a kid in front of me because i kneeled down and my hips extended forward the way i knelt down to try not put pressure on the knees but i kept praying, just tried to stay as away from anyone as best i could. Like why would i do something so disgusting in public while praying? Thats not even who I am. Ocd really attacks you at anyplace and anytime. I chose to stand there to expose myself to my fear and not avoid being close to people or kids. We kneel down several times and our knees are to touch the floor first which naturally extends the knee and help and i had the worry in the moment but kept praying. And now a day later it comes back what if i did something bad. So anooying

Username: hopefulxmess

Date posted: 29w ago

Please tell me other parent have been through this

Lately my ocd is latching onto my children. In my opinion, for me, this is the most painful and most debilitating theme of ocd. My daughter asked me to help her wash and rinse the shampoo from her hair while she was in the shower because she has thick hair and sometimes she has trouble shampooing and rinsing it all out. A normal, common task for me. At some point I caught a glimpse of her private area and my ocd immediately tried to make me believe I looked intentionally. I know I didn’t and I know I do not think of her or any child in that way but now my ocd has me questioning myself. I was just doing what I always do so I don’t remember at what point I saw it. Was I reaching for and looking down for the shampoo when I saw it or was I reaching up to her hair and saw it as I looked up? Did I look due to just normal human tendency to look where we know we’re not supposed to and if that’s the case does that make me horrible? I’m driving myself insane trying to prove I do NOT feel or think that way about her. I don’t want to live if this is how my brain works. Ocd is evil and this is the hardest kind of intrusive thought to get past. 😩

Username: Livelaughlov...

Date posted: 22w ago

Moms with OCD getting triggered

Earlier I was playing with my 1 year old baby. I went to go lower him to the ground and I hoisted his legs up to a hand stand (again just playing, he had fun with this) anyway after the hand stand, I went to lower his legs back to the ground. As I was lowering him, I noticed his “front area” coming down toward my foot. I acknowledged that his front area was heading straight for my foot and quickly in my head was like “eh whatever just do it” and so his front area landed on my foot and then I jerked my foot away once he landed on it. I’m shaking typing this, I feel I’ve done something horribly wrong and may have violated him 😭 this whole incident happened so fast. I wasn’t able to fully process my actions to tell my self “no that’s wrong, move your foot!” And now I feel TERRIBLE. I’m spiraling. The terrible thought of “your doing this because you like it and you know you would like it” did not cross my mind when I told my self to just let his area land on my foot. So I don’t think I did it purposely for ill intent? I would never want to hurt my child but ocd makes it feel so real

Username: Anonynmous19

Date posted: 20w ago

Ocd

Its a very anxious night for me as a parent. I went to tuck my child in and i worried with groinal responses i still hugged my child goodnight than worried did i brush up or lean toward them inappropriately and then she was sad i was leaving. I wanted another hug so i hugged her again and ocd tried saying i had bad intent. Its so exhausting fighting ocd as a parent in distress

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