ERP question

My OCD involves a tv show. I don’t even know how much joy this show brings me anymore, but I can’t stop watching even though I know it will ultimately be distressing. My question is (still new to ERP) do I avoid watching bc it’s distressing and may make me feel worse OR do I force myself to watch as an ERP exposure? Sometimes I think I’d be better off if I never watched it again but then I usually break and watch it anyway even though I know there’s a high chance I’ll feel terrible afterwards and engage in compulsions to feel better.

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 40w ago

The ERP is to not avoid it and to watch it.

Username: alissaaalissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

When you say you can’t stop watching it, do you feel like you’re watching it compulsively? Like you’d feel distressed if you weren’t able to watch it? In that case, don’t watch it. But, if you mean that the show is something triggering, then yes, watch it. But use it as an exposure and resist engaging in compulsions during and after watching. Wherever the fear is with this TV show, that’s what you should lean into.

Username: alissaaalissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

I have had obsessions where the obsessions and compulsions kind of merge together, so I can see your confusion. For example, when I deal with existential OCD, a show about the origins of the universe (or something, lol) would be extremely distressing BUT I would also compulsively want to watch it because I would feel it would help me find an “answer”, which of course there wouldn’t be one and I’d just continue compulsing

Username: NJmomNJmom

Date posted: 40w ago

Ugh you really hit the nail on the head. It’s both! I both feel distressed watching it but also feel distressed NOT to be able to watch it (ie need to put my kids to bed and that interferes with my ability to watch the show). Bc I feel like I need to watch it to get answers, yet the answers often are very distressing. But then if you tell me I can’t watch it I’ll obsess about what I’m missing. It’s so messed up. I’m so tired of my brain.

Username: NJmomNJmom

Date posted: 40w ago

@NJmom @alissa @alissaa And I guess the fear with the show is that I don’t know what’s going to happen with the characters so then I obsessively need to check instagram, news stories, etc to see what people are saying and then I feel the need to comment and “defend” my viewpoint. So I guess the compulsive need to check social media and the news is my compulsion? So instead of doing that I just sit with the discomfort of not checking any of the sites? Is that right? I appreciate your help.

Username: alissaaalissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

@NJmom Yes! That could be a good place to start. Since I don’t know what the show is or how it might relate to your obsessional fears I can’t be sure what the best exposure for it would be, but like I said, tune into yourself and see if you can pinpoint what the action your doing to “alleviate” anxiety around the fear. So if the unknown of not knowing something about the characters is one of these fears, yes, don’t do any checking rituals (social media, etc) and sit with the uncertainty of not knowing. When the urge to do the compulsions pop in, use non-engagement responses like “I don’t need to solve this” or “I don’t know for sure what the answer is, but I’m going to sit with the uncertainty and carry on with my day”. I hope this helps. The more you practice ERP the easier it is to identify the compulsions and the better you get at sitting with the uncertainty. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and completely empathize with feeling tired of your brain! But, your brain is beautiful and does many things to help you, it just doesn’t realize that this is not one of them. Be proud of yourself for working on your OCD while also caring for your little humans. You’ve got this Mom 💪🏼

Username: NJmomNJmom

Date posted: 40w ago

@alissaa I really appreciate you. Thank you for being my therapist tonight! I’ll keep your erp ideas in mind. For tonight I’ll try my best to not check any social media or news. I’m still not sure what to do about watching the actual show - I both want to watch it bc it might make me feel better but I also don’t want to watch it bc what if the bad outcome happens to the characters I’m invested in? This is the part of the puzzle I really struggle with - is it better to avoid the show all together or watch it? I guess it doesn’t matter, either way it will distress me. This is something I need to keep working on with my therapist. It’s like I’m confused by what the actual ocd issue even is. Thank you again 🙏.

Username: NJmomNJmom

Date posted: 40w ago

@alissaa I ended up watching the show. And the outcome I feared ended up happening. And then I indulged in all my compulsions. Totally failed tonight on ERP.

Username: alissaaalissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

@NJmom Don’t beat yourself up. This is tough work and you have every opportunity to try again. I’m sorry you’ve had a tough night. Try to show yourself compassion, and maybe make some notes about your experience that you can share with your therapist during session. Even with “failure” you’re still learning, even if its just learning what not to do.

Username: NJmomNJmom

Date posted: 40w ago

@alissaa Great idea, I’ll use the journal feature on here to do that so he can read it before our next session. Thanks again.

Username: mere123

Date posted: 3y ago

I have a question about an ERP exercise: It‘s a podcast about a coming-out story with a woman my age, to who I probably will relate and identify with a lot. This stresses me out so much and before even listening to it I know I want to get answers and I am expecting answers and relief to my sorrows. So how do I listen to it as an erp-exercise? How do I make listening to it not a compulsion?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: EFF_OCD

Date posted: 2y ago

Where to draw the line with ERP

Okay, so for the most part, if you have harm ocd/intrusive thoughts, you’ll understand (hopefully). If you haven’t seen, everyone is talking about the Netflix documentary “Dahmer”. Most harm ocd sufferers (myself included) that I’ve gotten to know all struggle with fears of being evil in any way (like a sociopath/narcissistic, etc). Do we need to make ourselves watch it? Even some of my friends without OCD say they couldn’t do it. The reason I don’t want to watch it is because I’m afraid it’ll trigger me. I’ll look for any common traits (this is what I do) and it’ll send me into a panic attack. But aren’t we SUPPOSED to on purpose watch things that bring us distress? The series has everyone talking about mental health and it SUCKS because OCD is considered “mental health” and I feel like it lumps us all into a giant category. Everything true crime triggers my harm ocd. I don’t even want to know humans are capable of such things because then it reminds me “it’s all possible”. I don’t know if I explained it well, but does ANYONE understand where I’m coming from 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Username: healingLittl...

Date posted: 1y ago

Getting frustrated with the concept of ERP

I got diagnosed in October (even tho I’ve had very obvious symptoms since I was a young kid in hindsight) and started ERP soon after. At first, ERP seemed to make sense to me. The whole idea of exposing yourself to your triggers and overtime learning that there’s no real threat there, and learning to tolerate anxiety. But during this holiday season my harm theme has come up a bit again, due to being home with my family and their playing violent shows on TV. And it occurred to me that there seems to be no winning with ERP. I would sit there watching the violent shows with my family, and try my hardest to resist any mental compulsions, but then just be left feeling horrible and anxious all day. And I realized that I actually DON’T WANT to be desensitized to violence. I don’t want to get to a point where violent thoughts don’t make me anxious, because I think that would make me a less empathetic and less pure-hearted person. To get even more specific, if I have an intrusive thought that says “what if I kill my family like I just saw in that tv show?” the ERP response would be “maybe I will kill my family, maybe I won’t”. BUT THAT’S AWFUL. That just sounds stupid to me. How is anyone supposed to say such a thing or “accept uncertainty” about that?? I would rather keep doing my mental compulsion of blocking out the thought than even entertaining the “uncertainty” that I could hurt my family. So it’s like, if I let the violent thoughts be there, my options are 1: feel horrible all the time (which I think is an appropriate response to having horrible thoughts, but it’s still not a fun way to live), or 2: if I try to push them out, that’s supposedly a compulsion which is supposedly making the OCD worse, so there no winning in either scenario for me. Can anyone relate? What am I missing here? There’s gotta be a better solution or something I’m not understanding about ERP, right?

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