Feeling guilt and anxiety over past thoughts - has anyone else experienced this?

Yess!!! This happened with my POCD. I had a crush on someone when I was freshly 20, and he was 17. I decided to deal with it appropriately by shutting off connection. Even though it’s not illegal, and nothing sexual even happened, this is the event that triggered my POCD. Literally since September I have felt nothing but disgusted with myself for having feelings for someone who is literally less than 3 years younger than me. Everybody told me, “Well you are allowed to have crushes” and “You never groomed/planned to groom him” (which is all true), but my OCD didn’t care about the truth. It cared about the intrusive thoughts I fed. I had a complete nervous system shut down and lost 26 lbs from not eating, and vomiting, and sleeping all the time. Even at basically April of 2024, even though he’s an adult now and I have no contact with him, I still feel weirded out and ashamed for having such emotional attraction to this person. Come to realize, you are not your thoughts. you are your actions. Please stay strong and let me know if me sharing this hopefully brought some kind of closure to your curiosity. Because trust me, even though I liked someone who was basically adult and who was out of school, my brain took me at my most vulnerable spot and went against me. I had legitimately convinced myself I was a pedo even though I did nothing inherently or legally wrong. Do not be fooled!!!

i totally get how you're feeling right now, and i'm so sorry you're going through this. it's really tough when our minds latch onto something and don't let go, especially when it makes us question our character. remember, having a thought and how you react to it doesn't define your worth or who you are. 💔 by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called 'unstuck'? when i was dealing with similar feelings, this free AI OCD therapy tool (unstuckmyOCD.com/try) that my NOCD therapist recommended really made a difference. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized, step-by-step support for moments just like this, helping you understand and manage the anxiety and guilt without getting stuck in rumination, just like an OCD therapist would. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Now my OCD is convincing me that you think I’m a pedo LOL. It just feeds on and on. It sucks. Even the smallest bit of attention to it gets me and I hate it. How do you utilize treatment?