i feel like i’ve been losing feelings for my girlfriend even though i love her very much deep down the only sign that this might be ocd is that i gain feelings in the morning, lose them during the day and gain them back in the evening what does this mean
In a healthy relationship you don't feel attracted 24/7. Some part of attraction is also excitement and lust. In a normal relationship you don't feel that all the time. For a good relationship (in my opinion) you need attraction in general but more important you need to get along with that person well. Resonate well on points in life that are important to you. I find my partner very attractive in general. Still he can walk around naked or charm me sometimes and i am still not attracted. Maybe even annoyed. Thats normal. I still know, he is a kind of person, that I find attractive AND can see my life with. And if you are still in school, maybe your goal is to have someone to have good times and fun with. To share thoughts. To talk to, to liste, to be heard. So, you don't need to define your relationship only on attraction.
What's different in the morning and evening compared to the day?
@Wolfram i feel like i love her really much and would never leave her and want to hold her in my arms 24/7, during the day i feel like meh and because i don’t feel anything i should break up w her (causes a fuckton of anxiety)
@ocdposting But what are you doing during the day? I mean stuff like work. What's different compared to the mornings and evenings
@Wolfram in the morning i usually wake up (and have literally no intrusive thoughts for 5 minutes, best time of my life) during the day i go to school in the evening i usually do nothing lol would like to point out that this cycle is very common in my actual ocd things, like whenever i had really bad suicidal and schizophrenia ocd, it always followed this cycle
@ocdposting So is it when you're at school you feel this way about her
@Wolfram in general during the day. i don’t know how to explain this but between 9am-8pm i feel meh and aftee 8pm i feel the spark again
@ocdposting OK. Does school or your average day make you feel stressed on any level?
@Wolfram no, school is easy af, idk why tf this happens, genuinely but again this always used to happen with other ocd subtypes to idek
@ocdposting OK so maybe not stress. Do you see her at school ?
@Wolfram i do
@ocdposting OK I'm at a loss here. Sorry. Maybe it's just intrusive thoughts that has led to convincing your emotions you feel that way?
@Wolfram i think that might be the case? idek thh
@ocdposting If it is, then you'd need to learn how to deal with intrusive thoughts and then possibly do some erp for the emotions
What are the feelings your having?
Do you not trust her, not attracted to her,,,what is it?
@Karate321 not attracted
I don’t think it’s meant to be
You should be attracted to her 24/7
@Karate321 @Karate321 But he has OCD. OCD makes its own rules. Don’t tell him he should be attracted 24/7 when he has OCD which can cause (un-)attraction🫡🙏🙏
@elliss2 ❤️
@Karate321 I didn’t mean this against you, please don’t feel offended @Karate321
I recommend the website Conscious Transitions. She talks a lot about how our perceptions about love and relationships are driven by the unrealistic model that is shown in Hollywood and Disney. Love isn't perfect and you're not always going to feel 100% attraction and love and feelings all the time. Yes of course it's important to have at least a moderate degree of interest and attraction in your partner as a base, but this can fluctuate a lot throughout the course of any relationship, no matter the length. Its a lengthy topic so I recommend checking out that website. She has tons of great content that will settle your mind....just don't keep re-reading for reassurance...😉
One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him
1. Thoughts about Not Loving My Boyfriend: • “What if I don’t love him?” • “I feel like I’ve lost my feelings for him.” • “I don’t feel love the way I used to.” 2. Fear of Changing or Being Different: • “What if I’ve changed and this is the real me now?” • “What if I’ve grown out of the relationship?” 3. Doubt About Attraction: • “I’m not attracted to him anymore.” • “I feel numb when I look at him.” 4. Thoughts of Disconnection and Irritation: • “I feel irritated when he shows affection.” • “I feel bored or disconnected when we talk.” • “Why do I feel like I can’t stand him sometimes?” 5. Fear of Denial: • “What if I’m in denial and I’m just pretending to love him?” • “What if all these thoughts are true?” 6. Fear of Being a Bad Person: • “I’m a terrible person for feeling this way.” • “I’m ruining my relationship and hurting him.” 7. General Anxiety About the Future: • “What if I’ll fall for someone else in the future?” • “What if I’ll never feel love again?” 8. Intrusive Thoughts from the Past: • “I had violent thoughts about my dad.” • “I worried I was a pedophile after seeing a video.” Feelings Associated with These Thoughts: 1. Numbness and Emotional Disconnection: • Feeling emotionally flat or unable to access love or joy. 2. Guilt and Shame: • Feeling like a bad person or partner. 3. Hopelessness and Despair: • Feeling like things will never get better. • Believing i am stuck this way forever. 4. Irritation and Frustration: • Getting annoyed when my boyfriend shows affection. 5. Fear and Panic: • Experiencing overwhelming anxiety when questioning my feelings. 6. Sadness and Confusion: • Crying frequently, feeling lost, or not understanding why i feel this way. Compulsions I Engage In: 1. Reassurance Seeking: • Constantly asking others if everything is okay or if your feelings are normal. 2. Researching and Googling: • Searching for answers about ROCD, anxiety, and relationships online. • Checking forums like the NOCD app for reassurance. 3. Mental Checking and Analysis: • Constantly checking if i feel love, attraction, or connection. • Analyzing every interaction and emotion to see if they’re “right.” 4. Confessing: • Telling your boyfriend or others about your thoughts to relieve guilt or doubt. 5. Avoidance: • Pulling back from conversations or interactions with my boyfriend due to anxiety. 6. Comparing: • Comparing your current feelings to how you used to feel at the beginning of the relationship. 7. Self-Criticism: • Judging yourself harshly and believing i am a terrible person. FEELING SO REAL I’m struggling with ROCD and it’s consuming me. My intrusive thoughts make me feel like I don’t love my boyfriend, that I’ve changed, or that I’m a terrible person. These thoughts make me feel numb, disconnected, and hopeless. My compulsions include constant reassurance-seeking, analyzing my feelings, researching online, and confessing my fears. It’s exhausting, and I’m desperate to feel like myself again. Does anyone relate to this? How do you cope?
I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
