also im in the process of looking for self help books. i found two that have amazing reviews and there’s hundreds of reviews and everyone said it helped tremendously, but i’m worried that it won’t help me because it’s not specifically for HOCD, it’s just a book about mindfulness and cbt and erp, and i’m worried it either won’t help me because it’s not directed at hocd, or its going to make me “realize” i’ve been gay or bi this whole time. and that’s so scary to me so i’m scared but then there’s the other part of me that says no this is just hocd and the book will help me because it is a subtype of ocd.

@Ultimatelyumi good for you! i hope i can get to that spot some time in the near future. i just for some reason feel that everyone else’s hocd was the same and mine is somehow completely different than everyone else’s and it feels so real and it scares me. like when people say to just accept the thoughts, that scares me because i’m afraid it’s gonna make me okay with the thoughts and that i’ll “become gay”. ugh wow this is horrible

I understand that fear, at one point, I felt like I was persuading myself ahaha I feel like that too. I feel like I have so many weird ass thoughts that they’re unique, and hell, maybe they are. But remember, content does not matter at all. The fact you have OCD or even intrusive thoughts in general, matters. And you treat the thoughts, not the content. If you feel panicked to accept the thoughts, have a little self care session. Sit down, with a nice warm drink, and a blanket. Turn on the tv and breathe. I know all you hear is “accept the thoughts” but truly, what that means is. Don’t push them away. Try and believe as if they are real. Try and say “damn, maybe I am gay. That girl was hot”. in your head. But don’t push them away. And by welcoming this thought by believing it as if it was real, you will feel the anxiety POUR IN. And ur probably like wtf why do I want to do that. It helps you build an immunity of some sort to the thought. It’s like facing your fears. If you’re scared of spiders but you face the fact of touching them, you will gradually no longer be afraid. It’s the same with thoughts. Then when you feel anxiety, you can choose to sip your tea and ride through it. Or do something productive, as if you never had the thought in the first place. Fake it till you make it right? Good luck!! (: ❤️ read the book, it’s amazing.

omg that’s so crazy! the two books i was looking at are the mindfulness workbook by jon hershfield, and the brain lock one! but now i’m thinking i should go with the mindfulness one because one of my very first compulsions once i found out this was a form of ocd i have, was to tell myself it’s just ocd and that clearly didn’t work because i’ve spiraled out of control since then.

It doesn’t matter, HOCD or ROCD. Every advice of ERP applies to OCD, the thoughts or content doesn’t matter. Go read it, it’ll be so worth the read (:

okay that makes me feel better. sorry if this is too much but i’m just curious, do you struggle with hocd yourself?

@Kaysf Yes, I did before. And I no longer have those thoughts. Realizing all of it was just silly thoughts when I look back on it.

thank you so much! i’m actually starting to have hope and feel like i’m going to get better! yes i’m still very very scared that i’m going to “discover i’m gay” and i truly don’t want that and i almost feel as if that’s a risk you have to take when doing erp, but i also know it’s not. and it’s not like i ever feel actual attraction to women, i notice that they are attractive. thank you so much, you’ve been a big help in just a small amount of time! any recommendations for books?

I’m so glad you’re feeling better!! That’s so good. I’m genuinely happy for you,,? I like the books: The Happiness Trap (free pdf online) The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Hershfield Brain Lock by Jeffrey M (Careful. I heard he encourages telling yourself it’s just your ocd but that can be a compulsion) Overcoming Unwanted intrusive thoughts by Winston All on amazon btw!! Good luck!! ???? all love to you,

Good luck with the books. Hope you find what you’re searching for in them,, you’re doing wonderful for doing your self care. You should be proud of yourself!! I think brain lock is still an amazing book nevertheless, there is amazing advice if you can find the strength to overcome the “this is just my ocd” compulsion. We all have it at one point, don’t worry ahaha