I’ve been in and out w hocd for awhile now, but I’ve gotten way better than a few months ago. That I can confirm. A few days ago it started back up with force, I’m aimlessly depressed and sad again for no reason. And now the gay thoughts are haunting me. I keep questioning if I’ll ever find a guy attractive since if I ever do I tell myself I’m “only saying that” and I don’t fully mean it. There’s this girl in my class and I’m getting thoughts about liking her and now everyday when I see her I get this weird feeling and I’m convincing myself those are butterflies and I literally wanna cry because I know deep down it isn’t what I want. Ever since hocd other problems with my mental health have bloomed and I look at things so differently now, like everything isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I feel like every gay person realized at some point in their life that they aren’t straight and I’m scared this is my time but I don’t want to be lesbian, but every lesbian says, “accepting it will make it better, I remember when I tried so hard to be straight” and I get so much anxiety from this.

i’m right there with you! but for me i fear that i am bi because even though i’ve lost attraction to boys, for some reason i know i still like them. and tbh this is so rough. it’s scary because to me, this feels so much more real than thinking i’m gay. because it’s like my ocd says “well maybe you are actually bi and that’s why you know you still like boys and you actually do like girls but you’re just not willing to accept it” and now i’m kinda freaking out

I feel you. For the past months I’ve been feeling really better than , let’s say, a year ago or even less. I think this is all due to the fact that I started to date this guy who is really nice and makes me feel loved and wanted. I do love him and I am sexually stimulated by him. But the thing is, yesterday, as we were walking as usual, I asked him why it was so arousing for men to see women kissing, because deep down, I wanted to know whether he accepts this. Someone from here told me that if I ever tell my bf about hocd, it wo’t be such a big deal, cause boys like lesbians. Now after I have asked him, I felt a kind of rejection and now I am scared he won’t understand me and accept me with Hocd. Then, when I was trying to sleep, a lot of intrusive thoughts came up to me, like: you are just predenting to like him, to like having sex with him, to like penises etc. And like you said, I have this sad and depressed feeling, as if I am on the verge of crying, because I can’t distinguish what is real and what is not anymore

i feel you! and tbh i struggled like that for so long until i found this app. and i saw people say “just let the thoughts come and accept them and let the anxiety take over and soon the amount of anxiety you feel from them will lessen and then eventually they’ll just go away because they are no longer a trigger to your mind” and that’s what i’ve done and i feel so much better! it was so hard. the anxiety hits hard and it’s rough. but once you do it a few times you get kinda used to it and you know the outcome is worth it. i haven’t even done any true therapy yet, or even self help. i’ve only let the anxiety pass and i only started that today and i feel much better. i have a book i ordered to help and for me to do self help, and i recommend you look into it. i truly have hope now that these thoughts don’t bother me as much anymore bc i just let the anxiety pass. yes the thoughts are still there for now but they don’t bother me as much and the bothersome feeling will lessen and they’ll go away with the help of the tips from here and the book i ordered. the book is called The Mindfulness Workbook for Ocd by Jon Hershfield. I haven’t gotten it yet but i’ve done my research on the author and read the reviews and everything sounds amazing. i suggest you look into it yourself tho. you’re not alone and you can get through this. i had no hope before and i truly felt that the thoughts were real and it sucked! you’ll get through this eventually and i suggest you start you’re RESEARCH (not reassurance) journey on how to overcome hocd now! you’ll be okay i promise!