i’m not sure what to do

does anyone have this theme of ocd that makes you resent or even hate the thing you deeply love and enjoy? i don’t have an official diagnosis but i believe to be autistic and there are this book series that are my favorite thing in the world and i take a lot of pleasure in re-reading them and other works by the author. i’ve enjoyed her works for couple of years now. but since last week i have this very torturous anxiety that makes me actually believe that i actually hate her works and her writing style which seems so absurdly false. i try to reason with this feeling because it’s foolish and isn’t a matter of life and death but feels like one. if someone had some like things i’d really appreciate advices because this whole situation is upsetting me so much i’m losing any hope of ever going back to how things were before

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 38w ago

I have this problem but it's not related to OCD, but towards low self esteem. It's something that I've struggled with for a long time now. When it comes to OCD, it's all irrational. When this does come up, you can't reason with it. What you could try to do is indulge yourself into those things you like to do no matter what it says. That way whatever OCD throws at you can lose meaning the more you just ignore what it's telling you.

Username: bb k bb k

Date posted: 38w ago

@BigGyro09 thank u for ur reply! yeah i try to just sit with it and not do compulsions but the more it goes on the more scared i am that it’ll never go away or stay as an aftertaste every time i interact with her works. i know it’s just the nature of ocd but it makes me so upset that even something that i take a simple joy in can be taken away from me just like that. it’s unbearable

Username: StudybugStudybug

Date posted: 38w ago

OCD mostly attacks the things we care about. If it attacked something you couldn't care less about then it wouldn't get a reaction from you. I'm so used to this happening now that when the negative thoughts come in I say "oh I must really love this if my OCD is attacking it"

Username: LeslieB3LeslieB3

Date posted: 38w ago

hey, i totally get how confusing and upsetting this must feel for you. it's really tough when ocd latches onto something you genuinely love and twists your feelings about it. it sounds like these books and the author's work mean a lot to you, and it's so unfair that ocd is making you doubt your love for them. 😞 by the way, have you heard about this new ai-powered ocd therapy tool called 'unstuck'? i've been in a similar situation before, and what really helped me was this free ai ocd therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my nocd therapist recommended to me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it provides personalized step-by-step support when ocd gets difficult, just like an ocd therapist, and it can help you work through these feelings of doubt and resentment towards things you actually love. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: PhillipFillip1PhillipFillip1

Date posted: 38w ago

i have this app and i love it.. just a shame that more folks in the OCD community dont know about it yet!!

Username: cherryCAKE

Date posted: 4y ago

i’m so sorry for posting so much but i just want to know if this sounds like ocd? basically when i’m ruminating over something that happened for example when i was struggling with real event ocd what bothered me the most was that i felt like i couldn’t let myself enjoy anything, like i had to suffer for eternity, i’d get thoughts like “you don’t deserve to walk, eat, sleep, drink, watch tv, listen to music” etc. and if i did those things i’d get pangs of anxiety, it keeps happening to me and it makes me so depressed and miserable i feel like i don’t even deserve to be myself or talk to friends sometimes and sometimes if i touch something like a glass for example my brain goes you don’t deserve to know the concept of what a glass is. I know it sounds completely crazy and i feel so alone because i haven’t seen anyone else that deals with thoughts like this :( can i get over it?

Username: aurokoi

Date posted: 4y ago

TW: GENDER OCD Okay, I posted a lil while ago about SO-OCD, but I have recently been suffering Gender OCD too. And unlike SO-OCD, this one is blowing a hole through my heart. I have never once questioned my gender. I’ve helped my trans and NB friends come out, and never once thought about my gender. But ever since my SO-OCD started and then died down, the thoughts about my gender cropped up. They range from two thoughts: I’m nonbinary, or I’m a gay trans dude in denial. And the latter one freaks me out so much, because I love reading queer media (I’m bi, and so many of my fave book series focus on gay couples), and my brain uses that as an excuse that I like it because I actually AM a gay guy. The thought is paralyzingly, and I can’t even begin to think of a way to overcome it like SO-OCD because the thought of me ‘accepting’ it as true scares the hell out of me. I can’t enjoy my favourite books anymore, or my favourite TV shows/movies. Anything with a gay couple makes my brain think I want to literally be one of them, when before I could just enjoy it for what it was, a story with queer characters. My connection to my gender is something I’ve always held dear to me, and the thought of being pulled from it is heartbreaking, and also makes me feel extremely guilty because I support trans rights so much, so why am I so scared of being trans/NB? How do I even begin to get over this when the idea of accepting the thought terrifies me? How do I begin to convince the anxiety that just because I enjoyed reading/watching something doesn’t mean I actually want it to happen in real life?

Username: ocdgirl123

Date posted: 2y ago

vent

i’m so frustrated with myself. despite my attempts to lean into uncertainty, there’s still some part of that is convinced my theme is real and therefore needs to be looked into. i relapsed pretty badly after a stressful day two nights ago and i’m struggling get back onto the wagon. i know that many people say that you don’t need to know something is ocd definitively in order to treat it as such, but i feel like i do. because if it’s not ocd it’s a thing that needs to be solved. idk. does anyone have any advice on what i can do?

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