what do you guys do when it feels so real? i’m doubting everything i ever knew, this is terrifying. it feels so real. stuff i used to be certain about i have no idea anymore.
The key to this is that it brings you stress. That’s how you can usually spot OCD- but even then it’ll try to pretend “oh no you don’t feel stress!!” But for now, just know that your fear is your saving grace actually. You fear it? It’s ego dystonic and it can be just as simple as that :)
I was in and out of this too when it was really bad. I like to describe it as going into a dark tunnel. Every tunnel you go through has another side, so you just kind of stick to your core gut feeling of “there’s an end to this tunnel.” For me it’s “okay, well, I know that I’m in control of me right now and the me right now doesn’t want any of that.” I’m still unsure at times, but after a while, I got a little tired of focusing on whether or not I was sure. The reality is, sexuality and attraction are elusive, if you search for things to prove what you’re attracted to, you’ll find that if you really try hard enough, anybody can find ANYTHING “attractive.” The thought is sexual in nature, so naturally, you’re gonna feel like it’s real. Eventually, you come to a point where you start to not care because you haven’t done anything and you never will 💜
@Dreamer2343 thank you for saying all that. it gives me some hope :)
@auds.ocd Absolutely and there is hope. I do remember what it was like, but to encourage you, I’ve been good for about half a year now, no episodes, no breakdowns or anything.
I’m in the same trench. Been debilitating the last few days.
Its just your intrusive thoughts. The fact that you dont like them goes to show how you dont agree with them. I hope your OCD gets better
Oh and to add, the key here is try not to doubt at all. Don’t interact with the thought. It wants you to interact with it. Say “okay, that’s ocd” and just move on. It’s hard at first, so I recommend having someone with you that you can say it to, someone you trust that knows you have ocd. I have no idea where I’d be if I couldn’t tell my boyfriend every horrendous ocd thought I’d had and he would remind me, yep, but that’s ocd.
I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.
This situation just happened and I can definitely remember how it went but my brain is telling me otherwise and I know you guys said to sit with the uncertainty but what if the intrusive thought is so bad like disgusting, I can’t sit with that. Maybe it’s false memory but this just happened. I don’t even know how to live with this
Ii spoke w my bf this weekend and he mentioned that he has thoughts just like me, but his don't bother him like me. I then felt a lot better and he tried dissecting one of his thoughts like I usually do and realized it felt more real for him after. That made me realize that none of my thoughts were ever true and I blew them up. However, yesterday I had a thought ab “wait wut if you liked that one guy? How dare you bc youre supposed to love your bf and not secretly like someone else” and treated it as I usually did bc I accidentally wanted to see if it was true but didn't rlly but I would check to see if it was there and now that thought feels so so so real now and I feel really bad how do Ik it's not real? I feel so bad and guilty bc lividly this makes 0 sense but it feels so prominent. It felt pretty real when it happened yesterday too. And now I feel awful bc how is it possible after my clarity the other day? Why does it feel so prominent 😞😞😞
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