Struggling

Does anyone else feel like OCD has become part of their entire life? Like I struggle with showering, using the bathroom, driving, trying to leave my house, cooking, eating, and doing my job. I feel like I’m drowning in it and it’s consuming my entire day and I feel like just breaking down and sobbing everyday over it. I see a therapist, and a psychiatrist but it’s been so bad that it’s taking a huge toll on my mental health and just my quality of life. I have gone through remission before, but it just feels like it has come back stronger and it’s just like seeping into everything in my day, it’s like I can’t ever escape it.

Young adults with OCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

Comment deleted by user

Lulu_20

Date posted: 1y

@st4rg1rl.xo I feel like it’s so hard to explain to people how it literally feels like this mental illness has me in a choke hold, like it’s so strong and it’s embarrassing and I hate it

Lulu_20

Date posted: 1y

@st4rg1rl.xo How do you struggle with it? I personally struggle with contamination ocd and harm and checking

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Lulu_20 I struggle with contamination. How do you deal with this? I have a hard time leaving my house! I have no focus, my concentration is so bad.

Lulu_20

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I do a lot of checking, sometimes the only way I get out my house is by forcing myself. Like I never feel content with the amount of times I check certain things like the stove, lights, outlets, locking the door is the worst for me I sit and continuously check and then sometimes it’s like a feeling of it not being “right” and then I sit there for like 5-10 min unlocking and locking the door.. the only thing that forces me to get moving is the fact that I run late because of it, so it’s like I have to get to my job in the morning, and I need my job to pay my bills. That’s the only motivation tbh

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Lulu_20 I understand that. I have a hard time concentrating so I don’t drive. I’ll go out to take a walk, sit on the porch and watch life go by, but other than that, I rarely leave my home. It’s too stressful. Sometimes I can’t even go outside because if the bugs or the birds are so loud chirping, very distracting to me.

Sydthesloth

Date posted: 1y

It’s really awful. It’s completely consumed my life too. For years. But we’ll get better and we’re not alone. 130 million other people have struggles with this too.

Lulu_20

Date posted: 1y

I also feel like so much pressure if someone is watching me do the compulsions that I feel like I’m not doing them completely so I have to wait until someone’s not there or watching me to “fully” do the compulsions which makes me run even more late

katiemuller

Date posted: 1y

i feel exactly the same as you, it consumes every action and thought i have and i feel like ive completely lost control of myself, ocd controls me and it’s exhausting

Flower1004

Date posted: 24w

It’s been getting worse..

Just sorta to vent and maybe get advice… I normally struggle with OCD and other MH/ medical issues.. I’ve sorta become acclimated to the stress, pain, mind games, and constant perfectionism. I thought I had it under control but this OCD has just been creeping back in small ways over time. I’ve caught myself doing behaviors and not feeling able to stop it. (This is combo of OCD but not sure how to categorize it all) - compulsively counting body movements til it’s the right number and feeling - adjusting papers/rewritten notes numerous times - irrational thoughts of my new pup being dead when I check on her - irrational thoughts that I don’t love my partner or he doesn’t love me after almost 10 years - every plate, cup, utensil has to be properly inspected before being able to use it - food can not have day of expiration (or even close to it) or a weird look or smell = it is inedible - recent close call accident led to dread driving and constant thoughts of a crash even though I did what I could and didn’t crash The list just keeps going.. but it has simply been a struggle that has lead me to feeling self conscious, unprofessional, childish, ashamed, and crazy. It’s a hard thing to accept that this has begun to return after finding ways to cope and manage in the past. I am struggling with finding ways to cope with it all cuz it is constantly disturbing my relationship, work, and personal well being Well that’s my truth for the day

anonymous2580

Date posted: 22w

Does it really get better?

I’ve been dealing with ocd my whole life, and just got diagnosed about a year ago. I feel my days becoming occupied with thoughts, urges, fears and worry that completely debilitate me. It’s getting to the point where i feel like it’s taking over my life. I don’t see this getting any better, even with the therapy and medication I’m on. I’m scared my life will be like this forever, I’m tired. My brain is tired of ruminating every second of every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

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