- Date posted
- 1y
Help
My ocd is making me think I actually want to commit these hanus acts and I’m scared it’s something I actually want to do but I don’t want to do it and I’d never let myself
My ocd is making me think I actually want to commit these hanus acts and I’m scared it’s something I actually want to do but I don’t want to do it and I’d never let myself
One of the first foundational truths we have to accept in our OCD recovery is this: Those thoughts don’t mean anything. They are just OCD thoughts. Whenever your brain tries to tell you that you actually mean them or want them, you don’t. It’s just the OCD trying to make you miserable. This is true 100% of the time. So don’t take mental energy to try to figure out if these are thoughts or acts that you actually wanted. They are just OCD thoughts. They don’t matter, and they are never really coming from you. They are just OCD thoughts, so put them in the OCD garbage 🗑️ basket. Your brain will always try to tell you that those thoughts mean something about you. Your brain wants you to figure out whether you really want to do those acts or not. It’s a trap. It’s all from the OCD. Don’t try to figure it out or solve it. Don’t try to to understand if you want to do those things or not. It doesn’t matter. The thoughts don’t matter. It’s all just OCD. A good thing to do at this point is to diffuse the situation by training your brain that you just don’t care. (And you don’t have to care because the thoughts don’t mean anything.) When you brain tells you, “You wanted this bad thing to happen. You are a bad person,” then you tell yourself, “Yep, sure, I am a bad person, whatever.” You don’t really have to think this at your core, but when you give your OCD a non-caring answer like that, that OCD loses it’s power. Nathan Peterson talks a lot about this in his videos. I’ll post a link. You’ve got this!!! Your experience is very normal for the OCD realm. You are not alone. But you can change your mindset. Remember, 1.) These are all OCD thoughts, even if your brain says they are coming from you. They are just OCD. One hundred percent of the time. No exceptions. So don’t spend mental energy trying to figure out if you wanted the thoughts or if you want to commit the acts. Don’t try to fix or solve the thoughts at all. 2.). Practice ERP. This means you let the thoughts (however bad they are) rattle around in your brain without trying to fix them, understand them, solve them, etc. Tell yourself you are are not going to do ANYTHING with them. Just let them be there. 3.). You can take away OCD’s edge by responding differently. You can tell yourself, “Yay, I am having intrusive thoughts again. Yeah, sure, I am a bad person. Maybe those thoughts came from me (they didn’t) and maybe not, but I am not going to try to solve this. 💙💙 OCD stinks, but your experience is classic OCD. Therapy can help if you get a good therapist trained in ERP. They will teach you to ignore the thoughts (without fussing over them or fixing them) and then to give a non-caring response to them . 💙💙
Your OCD lies to you. Hang in there! There are people who understand what you are going through!
Watch this video! I think it addresses exactly what you are talking about https://youtu.be/UHCtK_KWiSE?si=qE8tja0Tvddv2EMi
@Tea and Honey This is Nathan Peterson, a licensed OCD specialist. He is awesome
Try to keep in mind that a thought is a thought is a thought, not a threat or an action. It's just a thought. Likewise, the feelings, urges, images, etc., that go with the thought. It's all a part of the thought. A harm thought is no more of a threat than a thought/image of ordering and eating a pizza. Just a thought...
I’ve always struggled with maladaptive daydreaming I’ve stopped but I have harm ocd and my brain would hook onto a true crime story and I’d pretend to be a family member/loved one/victim of a k*ller and would make up elaborate stories abt it. That feels so disgusting I’m so scared this shows in a horrible person doesn’t it? And now my brain is telling me I have found k*llers attractive in the past I don’t think I ever did but what if I did I’m scared
Guys I feel a bit bothered. I fear I liked a thought bc my sister was showing me this video about a robbery and right before she was going to show me I was thinking "no... tsk this is not what I want to see. Dont think of anything." But i had to watch bc my sister was already playing the video. I tried to not pay as much attention. I hate watching videos that have stuff related to harm bc ocd loves to latch on. I got so many thoughts. But when I saw the person pull out a weapon and the cashier jump extremely high, I felt like laughing??? But not bc of what was going on but bc "why did he jump like that? It was so high! You know what? I would've jumped liked this too. That's scary!" And then I felt angry for the cashier bc why do evil people commit such things? How the heck? But ocd says i laughed bc I felt a sense of superiority and liked seeing people scared and want to feel a distorted sense of power. Like.. no? I knew I felt like laughing bc I didn't expect him to jump so high and I wanted to point it out but decided not to bc the video is serious, and it's not a movie. But I feel kinda guilty like why tf did I feel like laughing. I didn't even smile or actually laugh irl but it's bothering me. Then my sister showed me some other video and explained a specific weapon and I kept getting thoughts like "ohhh i want that! I wanna scare people too! I want to test the thoughts to double check if i actually like them" And it gave me an image of me doing something crazy like robbing a store as well! AND IT FELT REAL! I WASNT EVEN WANTING TO THINK THIS! Im worried this means its real or that i enjoyed the thought and fantasized, but at the same time ik im not actually interested nor do I have plans but what if I WANTED to for those few seconds?! Bc why did it FEEL like I enjoyed it??? I know I wouldn't, i dont have plans to nor do i want to think about making plans and I'm genuinely not interested but WHAT IF??? Did i enjoy this thought?! It felt like I wanted to bc I didn't immediately reject it like usual and for some reason felt "happy" (i didnt smile or anything but it FELT like i was happy???) Literally right after the thought came i was thinking to myself "OMG is that true?" And couldn't focus on anything else! How do I know I didnt genuinely enjoy and dont have some weird sense of power??? It's been bothering me so much, this happened a couple hours ago and I managed to fall asleep in the middle of my compulsion of mentally reviewing how I reacted to my thoughts.
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
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