- Date posted
- 1y
Don't ignore please i need help
Thoughts and feelings about a specific person I feel horrible. My old friend triggers me so much. But thoughts about him don't feel like my other triggers. It's like there's a likeable, pleasant feeling, but I don't want to feel like that. All I want is to feel bad about these thoughts. When this happens, I feel as if my feelings and thoughts are real, as if I actually really love someone else, as if it's okay to love someone else other than my partner, as if I agree with it and keep it a secret. I feel something like a false comfort. But why do I feel false comfort towards this person in particular? What if I love that person and I don't love my partner? Why do i feel these feelings and what does that mean? Does that mean i actually love that person but i deny it, but also i actually know thw truth but im hiding it? What if i want to be with that person? What if my thoughts and feelings are the truth? I don't want any of these to be true, i don't want to feel any romantical feeling towards to anyone other than my partner. I don't want to love anyone else other than my partner. I don't want to be loyal to anyone other than my partner. I don't want anyone else and i don't want these horrible unwanted thoughts and feelings. I don't want to feel a comfort or likeable feeling when the unfaithful thoughts I have about others comes this time about him. I don't want someone else to have a different place in my consciousness. When I think about that person, I don't want to have thoughts and feelings saying "There's no problem in loving him, in fact, you love him anyway, I don't mind that." I don't want thoughts and feelings that normalize the things I hate. Additionally, I am very afraid that God will take my partner away from me and give that person to me instead.