Health ocd

Hello, I just wanna put my thoughts onto something to hopefully release them. I have health ocd/anxiety which comes with googling and overthinking. Lately, I’ve been have stomach issues and acid reflux on new SSRI medication and convince myself I have SIBO or a weird disease. I then I looked into gastric diseases then freak myself out more for days on end. I’m am trying to use the ERP and saying “Mabye I do mabye I don’t”; but I always end up doing stuff to make it worse. If I have any advice don’t google, I should take my own advice😂. I have a few appointments to make sure nothings wrong which I know logically nothings wrong but for some reason I still think something is really wrong. (If you have similar stuff DONT look it up, it’ll just say the worst thing, ignorance is bliss 😭😂) Not expecting a response, just wanted to “release” my thoughts. Hopefully I help someone who is going the same thing. Anyways hope everyone is doing good and making progress in their life. :)

Trigger warning ⚠️ , Hi, I’m Anna, I’m a young adult in my senior year of high-school. I’m not sure what subtype of ocd this may be but my obsession changes, usually one lasts 3 months- a year and it’s been like this since I was a small child. For example it used to be an obsession over sweat, then over religion, then over getting ill. Now it’s strange, very strange but I’m afraid of my dad slipping something into my food. We have a rocky relationship and in arguments he’ll sometimes makes comments that scare me like “we should all 0ff 0urselves” or that he wants us “dead”. I also smoke pot time to time and he doesn’t approve and I’ve had this strange fear of him slipping me something stronger to “teach me a lesson” after I eat anything of his if I absolutely have too I wait an 15-60 minutes and look for any signs of illness or a high. It’s exhausting because he mainly cooks in the house and I’ve lost 5lbs this week due to this fear..it’s consuming me and may be my most exhausting obsession yet.

I had blood work done for a test I was having a couple weeks ago. The phlebotomist hit my vein weird, my arm bled a lot, but eventually stopped. My arm is still sore several days later. The following week I had my bronchoscopy. The nurse used the same arm that was already sore to put in the IV for the meds. My arm started hurting, swelling and burning. I told her it hurt really bad but she ignored me; then I was out. It’s been a week and my arm still hurts, and my veins are tight and hard. Couple that with the white stuff all over my face, that nobody from the care team bothered to wipe off- which I didn’t know about until my husband asked me what it was, I got harm from my OCD! At first I chalked it up to the white stuff on my face was bad bedside manners. Now, I keep thinking that my doctors and everyone associated with the clinics are trying to harm me. This morning I had an incident with the fryer oven while toasting my bagel. I asked my husband about it and he says he didn’t notice anything. I was down to the last few bites of my bagel, and suddenly started feeling loopy. I spit it out and threw the rest away. After sitting awhile thinking of the doctors and phlebotomist etc… it dawned on me that it was my OCD telling me people were trying to harm me. I don’t know how to get over the fact that my arm hurts really bad and my doctor completely ignores my health concerns. I’ve been nauseous for the past two weeks or so - there is definitely something wrong! I think when they find out that you have OCD and/or Anxiety, they treat you differently, as if you’re making up the symptoms. I most certainly haven’t felt heard! My husband always says, what’s wrong now? It’s such a horrible feeling to hear him say that. Is this what you call Harm? Or is it associated with Harm? I’m not sure if this is triggering or not. I hope not.