I always think I may need hospitalisation

@Wolfram What do you mean? We’re doing CBT and general therapy

@confused writer Have you talked to them about the possibility of erp?

@Wolfram Yes. She doesn’t do that I think. I don’t really know. But how can ERP help me with that? 😅

@confused writer It challenges the fear directly. You'll feel like you'll have a panic attack and it's overwhelming to do but I got rid of a phobia I had for 15 years in 4minutes initially and about 2 follow up erp exercises

@Wolfram I try to do exposures to myself with knifes and sharp objects, but it doesn’t work so much. I don’t feel anxious I just feel like it’s tempting to do something and then put me in stress after sometimes 😫😫

@confused writer Erp makes you sit with that stress.

@Wolfram But if I don’t get stressed? What does that mean? 🤦🏻‍♀️

@confused writer So wait, when exactly do you get stressed?

@Wolfram I have some kind of anxiety parts of the day. But it doesn’t necessarily happen in exposure, but in the thoughts. More like distress if that makes sense

@confused writer What do you mean by in exposure? What do you think the exposure is?

@Wolfram I can get stressed out of no where bc of the thoughts. When I stand with a knife (some kind of exposure) I can feel tempted. And then I’ll put it down. And tell myself something like “if you’d really want you’d do it already” or just continue with my day. And I can not be stressed at all, just distress. Or ok, but with the thoughts.

@confused writer OK I had to look at the difference between the two. I understand what distress is and can relate. When exactly are you feeling the distress, what triggers it? I'm making sure I understand before I answer because I don't want to give the wrong one as it'll lose the correct context

@Wolfram The distress come with bad feeling (depression attack ? Idk) and feeling of hopelessness and the thoughts are VERY LOUD AND AGGRESSIVE. most of the time I can feel like I’m not stressed but talk about it all day long. And sometimes just stressed like today because the thoughts make me feel bad and I don’t understand why I want that

@confused writer I believe I understand. The last time these thoughts kicked in and you felt distressed, what happened in your day? Was there anything that upset you, made you feel anxious, angry or stressed you out in any way? Could be big or small issues (and by smallI mean like the tiniest annoyances )

@confused writer I feel from what you've said that you're OK talking and thinking about it when you're not stressed or distressed and that doesn't trigger you. But when you are triggered, it's an issue. Does that sound right?

@Wolfram Something like that I think. I don’t really know to explain. It’s hard. Idk how my therapist is so sure it’s OCD. it scares me 🥲

@confused writer So it sounds like stress in general is a trigger which would get the fight or flight bit of your brain kicking in. Then that would trigger the intrusive thought with your theme and then escalate because it's scary af. Sound familiar or no?

@Wolfram The thoughts are always there, just sometimes very real. But yes

@confused writer I think erp will work on finding out what your core values are. They'll expose you to something that stresses you out in order to trigger these thoughts and feelings. Get you to react differently to them once they've taught you how to. Then when you've done that maybe change a perception or something with your core values so it's not as extreme and leave you with that new point of view to sink in at the end of the sessions. This is basically what I did They may even look at your life on a week to week basis and write down all your stressors or any triggers you've noticed.

@confused writer Hi erp is the gold standard for combating ocd. CBT does help but not if you’re mixing it with talk/ regular therapy.

@httpet What do you mean? Is CBT with talk less effective?

@confused writer I know that talk therapy often just doesn’t work for ocd since it can be used as reassurance which is a compulsion. I would advise getting ERP since I know that is the best according to ocd specialist

@Wolfram There are some times where I am really distressed because of the thoughts. And I feel like I have to stay in my room. I’m not fine being with a knife because it makes me feel like I wanna do it. And then I just put it down

@confused writer So you know thoughts can be an exposure too right?