Share your experience in recovering from pocd?

I'm scared to post this on here, but I haven't seen anyone else talk about it, so I'm wondering if anyone else on here suffers from POCD? I really need to know I'm not alone. If anyone has good tips/resources for coping that'd be great. I don't have an OCD specialist anywhere near where I live. I do see a therapist who has been helping, but I still feel incredibly alone.

Hi y’all I guess I am asking for reassurance, but I’m just wondering if anyone on here has recovered from pure ocd to the point where they feel it doesn’t have any control over their life and identity anymore? Right now I feel like I will never live my dream of being a good person and having a husband and family and being a child and family therapist. My most present theme is pocd and I feel like it’s wrong for me to ever be in a relationship or even make new friends bc of the things I have thought and the tricks ocd has played on me to make me “feel” things. I have a hard time taking care of myself most days because I feel like I don’t deserve it, let alone my dream. I don’t know how I will ever allow myself to feel self trust and confidence again, this is literally my worst nightmare and the only thing that brings me comfort is suicidal ideation. I feel like maybe I accidentally did something wrong along the erp path by trying not to be distressed, like I taught myself to think wrong or something. Has anyone been here and gotten back to who they were before?

Hey I’m new to this, I’m a 20 yo female, and I’m pretty sure I’ve had ocd since my childhood, but it’s gotten worse has I’ve gotten older. I never really understood my intrusive thoughts and always felt so sick and uncomfortable when I’d have them. They took a turn many months ago when they became more often and more intense. And I started doing some research on them and came across ocd (which I always thought was just when people don’t like to be unorganized and are like perfectionists or something) but as I was reading different websites and seeing how many types of ocd there was I noticed that I related to most of what I was reading. I still haven’t been officially diagnosed or found a therapist yet but I’m working on it. The past year has been the hardest with my intrusive thoughts. I’m mainly bothered by my pocd and I feel sick to my stomach whenever I get an intrusive thought about a child. I absolutely love kids and would never do anything to hurt them it physically makes me ill when I think about it. (If anyone has any tips to deal with this please reply😭) I think I have an idea to why I have those thoughts. I didn’t have the best childhood I was sa’d at 4&9 by 2 different people that were supposed to take care of me, and I have this horrible fear that i could be like them and it makes me feel so incredibly sick. I was also way too exposed to s3xual things as a child, my family was way too open about s3x growing up like I’m talking adults in my life thought it was okay to openly talk about it to me when I was 6/7 like it was normal. I wish I could explain more but this is already way too long. I’ve only opened up to a select few people about this so this was extremely hard for me, I’m literally fighting for my life… Thank you to anyone who cared enough to read this all the way through I appreciate it so much.🤍