Relationship Question

I’m having a hard time figuring out if my feelings about my romantic relationship are ROCD or true feelings. For context, me and my bf have been together for 4 years, broken up once before (about a year ago) and almost again a few weeks ago. I’ve been feeling so disconnected from him, despite his efforts to change and make things better in our relationship. I’ve also been feeling like I want to date other people, but at the same time feel like he’s it for me… is there a way to tell ROCD from regular feelings?

Relationship OCD

Username: MeredithMeredith

Date posted: 36w ago

There isn’t one “way.” You have to live with the uncertainty that maybe this person is right for me, maybe not. You can also dismiss the thoughts when they come in. I like telling my thoughts “cool story bruh”

Username: MeredithMeredith

Date posted: 36w ago

@Meredith I know that probably isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but ocd will keep coming back with new “what ifs” the more you try to answer its questions

Username: ROCD_GirlROCD_Girl

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 36w ago

I struggle with this too, I’m in the exact spot right now. Is it my partner or is it OCD? I feel like just leaning into the uncertainty is good for quieting the monkey brain but doesn’t answer the question. I’ve been trying to figure out my values as part of this work and then see if his values are in line with mine. However, now I can’t even trust that OCD isn’t altering what my values are. Good luck!

Username: Shannon

Date posted: 3y ago

Has anyone gotten to the point with ROCD whether you question if the relationship is actually want you want anymore ? I can’t tell if this feeling/thought is OCD anymore or if I genuinely need to leave. I really don’t want to feel this way but I don’t know if wanting to be with my partner or wanting to love him is enough. I’ve had all the extreme anxiety before but no longer. It just feels off, numb like something is missing that I can’t put my finger on. My mind is saying that maybe it just is my time to leave and move on. I can’t figure out if this is just another OCD tactic or true 🤷🏻‍♀️

Relationship OCD

Username: kathr

Date posted: 2y ago

rocd and break ups

i have rocd and am in a long term relationship. i have a hard time differentiating between obsessive/intrusive thoughts about my relationship comingfrom OCD and actual gut feelings. for 2 years I’ve thought that i need to break up with my partner but i usually dismiss it because i think its rocd. now im worried that it actually means i should break up but i know that after i do i’ll be obsessing whether it was the right decision … does that make sense? don’t know how to separate rocd from “real” feelings

Username: anonymous1963

Date posted: 49w ago

Rocd vs reality

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?

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