I need someone to please comment on this !!😭

I’ve been dealing bad with POCD and all my head has been thinking about is think about children and you will get turned on I honestly felt disgusting and till this day i still do i wake up scared thinking i dreamed about something like that or that i end up liking it because of how much I think about the more i try to push it away the more it stays there and honestly i get scared because the more my body tells me like think about the more I feel like my body is gonna react without me even wanting it to like i feel like my lady part is gonna work on itself and then I’m gonna get scared and actually think i am a perv if i do I’m honestly so scared by this whole situation i use to be around children all the time without even having a thought that way like i never ever thought of children in that way and all my mind thinks is that and it feels horrible I don’t even wanna wake up because I wanna keep living in my dreams instead of the real world.

POCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

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yaya_zz

Date posted: 1y

@st4rg1rl.xo Thank you! It feels horrible honestly it like ends up convincing me that I like the thought or the feeling and it’s horrible and it’s like an everyday battle because how I said I know it’s a very personal thing to say but like with out me even wanting to or having to I feel like my body will react and if it reacts I will be literally disgusted, I can’t even be intimate with my partner because I feel like my mind is gonna associate it with kids and I’ll will horrible and literally will be traumatized. 😪

ivrec

Date posted: 1y

Just remember the more you push the thoughts away the more your brain thinks those thoughts are important. OCD thoughts are intrusive thoughts and normally do not reflect your values. Learn as much as you can about how OCD latches onto what you care about, possibly keeping children safe is very important to you. Hopefully you can find some comfort in knowing that the more you see OCD as the enemy it is you will recognize those thoughts as the junk thoughts they are.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

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yaya_zz

Date posted: 1y

@st4rg1rl.xo Yes of course!

yaya_zz

Date posted: 1y

@st4rg1rl.xo yayaaaa.xoo

IloveDieguito

Date posted: 1y

I get you! This happens to me when I'm around young kids, and it feels gross to even think of it and it's worse when trying to explain it and your loved ones don't understand you. One of my compulsions (I have stopped) was the urge to tell a really close person to me about my thoughts, because I felt the guilt of "being a terrible person" and each time I see kids I remember about that intrusive thought, and it's scary. But I've tried to managed it by just thinking that, thoughts and body responses that I dislike and I personally know I would never act on, means that what goes through my mind and body is not what I truly desire. You can do this.

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