SO-OCD

Hii. So this is kind of a weird thing but bear with me. I know when people come out, others will say "oh we've known" or like "I'm not surprised" and that's definitely an insensitive thing to say but I fear that my friends/peers talk about me and think I give off bi/lesbian energy but don't tell me. Like if my SOOCD isn't real and I came out one day, would people say that? I'm just afraid that my friends talk behind my back about me in that way and so I go the extra mile to avoid those LGBTQ+ stereotypes whatever that may be. Even stupid shit like having a nose piercing or clear phone case etc. My OCD clings onto that thought and so I'm always conscious in my head about not trying to give off that energy based off how I present myself and it's so exhausting like I wish I could just wear whatever without being like "oh I saw a tik tok one time that says this type of shirt is a gay thing" or whatever. I am not in any way homophobic as I'm an ally of the LGBTQ+ community but my OCD just drives me crazy and because of that I have this constant fear of being perceived as bi/lesbian. Sorry this was long and all over the place LMAO but if anyone can relate/ has advice it would be so appreciated because I honestly just feel so alone

Hi, i have been on and off with my SOOCD and I have been really good at understanding that my thoughts are just thoughts, yesterday i seen a masculine lesbian and it triggered me and I got severe anxiety because I was expecting some thoughts to come as I had been triggered. I then got thoughts “you find her attractive don’t lie”, when I seen her I do not personally think she is attractive looks wise and all that, but all my mind is saying to me now is I do and I am lying and it’s started to just get to me i just want to shut off and get the thoughts away from me😫then I seen on tiktok this person had SOOCD and then turns out they were gay and I just am spiraling.

**TRIGGER: SEXUAL THEMES** Does anyone have any advice or can relate? I’ve suspected that I have ocd for quite some time now, and it’s usually rocd but lately I’ve been getting thoughts that I might be bisexual or even a lesbian, I’ve never gotten these thoughts before and idk if it’s ocd or if I actually feel this way. I’ve always been straight and at one point in high school, I thought that I might be bi but I would never date a woman, it would only be in a sexual sense. (Idk if that even counts as being bisexual honestly). This still stands but I’m having a hard time accepting the sexual part, even tho I don’t think I’m bi. I think this has come up because lately I’ve been loving Chappell Roan’s music, and cuz most of her songs are about women, I think I’m getting intrusive thoughts cuz of that. Also I watched her “my kink is karma” music video and I just really loved the style and a transition in it, and she looked really good like I’m not gonna lie, but idk if it’s me having a “girl crush” as a straight woman or if I’m part gay. The thing is, I don’t think this whole thing would even be a problem if I was single, but I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a few months now, and I love him to death, and I’m obviously attracted to him (even tho my rocd says otherwise), but I can’t help but feel guilty if I’m bisexual. It’s not even a big deal and I don’t have to make it a big deal, but I get thoughts that if I did like women, I’d have to break up with my boyfriend in order to figure it out, but that’s not what I want (even tho it’s so hard to decipher what I want or not with ocd). Usually when I get these thoughts I can shrug it off and it goes away for a while, but now I’m getting this picture/video in my mind of me giving head but on a vag. I think this started up because ig I wanted my bf to do a certain thing while going down on me and I imagined myself doing it and it got like really vivid and now I get groin responses from it. It’s just really scary right now and I really don’t want it to be true.