Can’t stop thinking of things from years ago. Like I’ve already gone through it and moved on but now my brain likes the what if questions and doubting my entire memory of the situation and twisting it to something dark. I confess to my mother usually and once I’m on a roll it’s hard to stop. Either I tell her nothing or everything that comes to my mind. I was upset about something from 6 years ago, talked it out with mom and now a new memory popped up and that is the new obsession until I talk it out. Horrible!! I can’t live like this.

** I just want to clarify I am not a counselor nor have any training in the field ** - just another OCD sufferer who has been fighting this battle for over a decade I completely understand what you are going through. I can relate in the sense of memories randomly popping up and trying to remember exactly what happened but I know in my head it’s just my OCD trying to find something, anything it can latch onto to win this constant battle. So when you feel the need to confess or ask for reassurance that is a compulsion. And the more you give into the compulsions you will feel a short relief. But then the OCD monster will find something else to latch onto.

I had this. You have to STOP confessing. Just don’t. Even if it makes you cry and have a panic attack. You just have to resist the urge to do it

maybe try to think of the current consequences of the past event (without your ocd). even if you had been assaulted in the past, the consequences of that happening have already come and gone. ex, you prolly don’t hang with those people anymore. there is no real reason to let an event from your past define you like this. and so the only way to get any peace is to not let your ocd bring it up. When it says something happened, you say NO. When it tells you to confess, you say NO. Because even if what it says is true, it’s already over.

It’s just hard when I’m not on meds anymore and I think about not sleeping if I don’t relieve myself and confess. My thoughts get pretty dark. This guy I dated and his friend got me and my friend black out drunk 3 years ago and I slept with him and then he slept with my friend when she was high and drunk. Since he’s a player type I kind of expected this behavior from him and wasn’t mad at her. His friend slept with her before that and apparently when I was passed out he tried to come onto me. I remember my friend telling me she stopped him and told him to go away. When I found out my guy slept with my friend he lashed out at me and told me his friend raped me to scare me. Both his friend and his sister were disgusted by his accusations and said that wouldn’t happen. Now I randomly think back to this and get paranoid everyone is lying to me and I imagine all sorts of things happening and that I have to go to the police. I’m pretty sure I’ve told my mom some of this (not all the sex part but what was said to me about rape and the player my guy was) I remember her calming me down but now again years later I doubt that and want to confess and go through it again to relieve my obsession. If it’s not this story I’ll think of something else but my memories are not the best

Yeah it’s a horrible compulsion. Especially when there’s things u shouldn’t tell a mother like sexual things or whatever, it’s embarrassing. My ocd makes me doubt my judgement: is it a confession compulsion or is it something that I should tell my mother about? For example the rape story I wrote above. This has already been settled and moved on but now it’s back with a vengeance and I think I was raped and no one is telling me and I need to go make a police report. Randomly 3 years later after forgetting about this the whole time and obsessing about other past events. It’s really draining.