- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
** I just want to clarify I am not a counselor nor have any training in the field ** - just another OCD sufferer who has been fighting this battle for over a decade I completely understand what you are going through. I can relate in the sense of memories randomly popping up and trying to remember exactly what happened but I know in my head it’s just my OCD trying to find something, anything it can latch onto to win this constant battle. So when you feel the need to confess or ask for reassurance that is a compulsion. And the more you give into the compulsions you will feel a short relief. But then the OCD monster will find something else to latch onto.
- Date posted
- 5y
I had this. You have to STOP confessing. Just don’t. Even if it makes you cry and have a panic attack. You just have to resist the urge to do it
- Date posted
- 5y
maybe try to think of the current consequences of the past event (without your ocd). even if you had been assaulted in the past, the consequences of that happening have already come and gone. ex, you prolly don’t hang with those people anymore. there is no real reason to let an event from your past define you like this. and so the only way to get any peace is to not let your ocd bring it up. When it says something happened, you say NO. When it tells you to confess, you say NO. Because even if what it says is true, it’s already over.
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s just hard when I’m not on meds anymore and I think about not sleeping if I don’t relieve myself and confess. My thoughts get pretty dark. This guy I dated and his friend got me and my friend black out drunk 3 years ago and I slept with him and then he slept with my friend when she was high and drunk. Since he’s a player type I kind of expected this behavior from him and wasn’t mad at her. His friend slept with her before that and apparently when I was passed out he tried to come onto me. I remember my friend telling me she stopped him and told him to go away. When I found out my guy slept with my friend he lashed out at me and told me his friend raped me to scare me. Both his friend and his sister were disgusted by his accusations and said that wouldn’t happen. Now I randomly think back to this and get paranoid everyone is lying to me and I imagine all sorts of things happening and that I have to go to the police. I’m pretty sure I’ve told my mom some of this (not all the sex part but what was said to me about rape and the player my guy was) I remember her calming me down but now again years later I doubt that and want to confess and go through it again to relieve my obsession. If it’s not this story I’ll think of something else but my memories are not the best
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah it’s a horrible compulsion. Especially when there’s things u shouldn’t tell a mother like sexual things or whatever, it’s embarrassing. My ocd makes me doubt my judgement: is it a confession compulsion or is it something that I should tell my mother about? For example the rape story I wrote above. This has already been settled and moved on but now it’s back with a vengeance and I think I was raped and no one is telling me and I need to go make a police report. Randomly 3 years later after forgetting about this the whole time and obsessing about other past events. It’s really draining.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I just saw a post on here that reminded me of something I did, or thought I did, nearly 12 years ago. I don’t know exactly when, but my OCD just latched onto it. I don’t even know if the memory is real. I’m freaking out. I was just a kid. Why am I feeling so guilty right now?
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi Everyone! I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day so far :) So for years now I’ve had very bad intrusive thoughts about things that I have done or embarrassing things that I’ve said or have happened and it’s mortifying and debilitating on a daily basis. Specifically these thoughts are mainly things that have occurred from 2018-2020 and some are more simple just as a stupid joke I made or being way too loud on calls while my family was trying to sleep and others being way more complex such as past relationships and how I’ve hurt some of the people I care the most about and when I have acted on intrusive thoughts and these thoughts will appear with no triggers at all I’ll just wake up and already have something I did just nagging me. I don’t want to live like this anymore and I’ve tried working through it with self compassion but sometimes the things I said or did back then it’s very hard to forgive myself for and I’ll reminisce on it for hours on hours, gaslight myself into believing that’s not how it happened and try to change the memory itself, or just suppress it entirely. I know those habits aren’t healthy and truly I want to get better but I don’t know how to overcome some of these thoughts. I have talked to my fiancé about this a few times and even today we talked about it and he fully supports me and is helping me work through it. I might also contact my sister too, I don’t talk to her overly too much but ever since I was little she’s thought I’ve had ocd and was one of the people who made me consider that I might have it (I’m still undiagnosed but I’ll try to when I have the money and time) and I know she could maybe provide some insight. Another thing that is troublesome about the situation is my other family members specifically my mom aren’t the most helpful and can trigger thoughts. To put it in perspective on how her thought process is and some background info she is an ER nurse and has been for 30 years due to this she believes she knows mainly everything there is about mental health and she gets extremely upset when I don’t take her advice or set boundaries. She’ll force me to talk to her about my problems and when I don’t want to she’ll pin me in a corner where I’m forced to and last summer I had a really bad episode and was really overstimulated and I just finished taking a shower and due to the water on me, my hair being wet (my hair is naturally curly and it takes forever to dry and it’s very draining taking care of even with a keratin treatment) and all the intrusive thoughts I was having and she forced me to talk to her and I did open up for the first time about my thoughts and brought up how sometimes I have thoughts of hurting my animals and it makes me physically sick. Her response to this was threatening to call the cops on me saying it was a behavioral thing and I was doing it for attention. I have never hurt any of my animals but later that day my cat came into my room and a few minutes later she comes up just gives me the death stare and after a few seconds just asks me “are you going to go kill snickers?” In the most condescending tone and she’s always like this daily where she’ll force advice onto me or get upset and yell and then reinforce thoughts I’m having. I just want to know first how to stop the thoughts from so frequently and how to heal in an environmental where it keeps reopening wounds despite trying to place boundaries? I’m sorry this is really long I usually do go really in detail about things and it’s just how I’ve always been. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability. I really appreciate the time you took to read this and thank you for your help! 🥰
- Date posted
- 20w
How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk
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