real event ocd flare up

how do u guys deal with it i feel like throwing up and crying from guilt. i don’t wanna get into what memories i’m thinking of, but they have to do with sexuality as a child. i can’t stop thinking that i had bad intentions and hurt someone because i was a few years older. i was doing fine and this came out of nowhere. i keep thinking what if it’s not ocd and i’m just using ocd as an excuse for my rightfully had guilt. i literally feel paralyzed and debilitatingly shameful. i don’t know what to do. i talked to my friends about it and they kept telling me experiences like that are normal, but i feel like an unreliable narrator or something. i just wanna cry and cry.

Username: ElicambelElicambel

Date posted: 31w ago

i’m going through something super similar, you are not alone ❤️

Username: hellokittygirlhellokittygirl

Date posted: 31w ago

@Elicambel thank u 😭🩷🩷

Username: ElicambelElicambel

Date posted: 31w ago

@ineedhelplolz no problem, this is exactly how im feeling and the was you described it is super similar to what im dealing with. Don’t lose hope ❤️

Username: ocdnoononiocdnoononi

Date posted: 31w ago

I have this but not with people but online fictional stuff. The guilt is immeasurable, the pain almost unbearable. Yet somehow, I still wake up each morning, despite how I also feel like an unreliable narrator- despite my ocd using it as a weapon against me I still keep moving and changing regardless of its chains. Cause maybe, we will heal. Maybe one day the sun will rise and we will be glad that we stood in the rain for so long. That we didn’t give up when all seemed hopeless, when we felt like collapsing. If ocd will say “maybe you are bad and everything will go wrong-“ the opposite can also be true. That maybe everything will be okay.

Username: hellokittygirlhellokittygirl

Date posted: 31w ago

@ocdnoononi thank u sm for this , it means the world 🥹🩷

Username: I'ma_FairyI'ma_Fairy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 31w ago

Friend, I SO relate to you ❤️ just know that this theme is NOT the exception. I'm not familiar with what themes you've dealt with before... but I will say anything that has to do with MORALITY like POCD, Harm Ocd, Zocd etc...can be very very triggering to the sufferer. I'm speaking from personal experience because I've had almost every theme at this point. Without risking giving you reassurance, just use the "maybe, maybe not" technique. I know, eye roll, but the shitty meatsack that is our brain only understands actions and behaviors, try to disregard and use ERP techniques to unstick the thoughts. Over time, your Brian will catch on and stop producing so much anxiety. You've got this ❤️

Username: hellokittygirlhellokittygirl

Date posted: 31w ago

@Faeries&frenchies tysm for ur help i’ll try these techniques :)))

Username: greglgregl

Date posted: 31w ago

Wow. I totally understand. I’ve dealt with many themes and truly believed that I was kicking OCD THE BULLY ass. Then all of a sudden I had a horrible thought about the time I was 14 and weather or not I hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally. I ruminated and when over the situation pretty much all day for the last 15 days. It’s just another OCD theme trying to desperately to mess with me and my daily life. I’ve had it. But it took a little longer to recognize it. You’re not alone. We worry and care cause we are goodpeople at our core. Hang in there. We got this!

Username: hellokittygirlhellokittygirl

Date posted: 31w ago

@gregl thank u for sharing !! :)) it helps a lot to know people are going thru similar things 🩷

Username: letsgo

Date posted: 5y ago

TW!! POCD Please help. I’ve been doing decent lately but just need support on something that has kept me stuck. I can’t tell if this is a real memory or not, but I’m pretty sure it is. Maybe distorted. But feels so real. And I’m terrified. Last year before my huge OCD spike. So before I even knew I had OCD. I remember being around kids at work, and this girl in a skirt was on a climber on the playground and I remember looking up and you could see her underwear. I remember staring for a minute, and it was kind of like a car accident, I couldn’t look away. I remember finally coming to my senses and saying I wonder what people would think if they knew I was doing this. After that, I completely forgot about it until my spike in October and I’ve been living in a prison of regret and guilt ever since. I sometimes see that child at work still and I get a rush of anxiety and guilt. I just don’t know how to move pass this, for this reason it gives my OCD proof that I am what I fear so much. Is it possible that I was experiencing intrusive thoughts then and just didn’t care enough or realize it. I’m so broken from this. I hate what I’m going through. I hate myself if this memory is real.

POCD

Username: chamomilegirl

Date posted: 4y ago

I have Real event ocd about things I did as a kid at 12/13. It’s killing me because it really happened but I feel like a different person now completely. my actions disgust me and it makes me feel like i don’t deserve to be alive. I constantly have flashbacks about the events and it sends me into a state of panic, I feel as if my younger self has traumatized my older self. i’m so scared that things I did make this true, i really am a bad person, even though i’m an adult now and would never never ever do that again. I’m so scared. All I want is to be a good person but I keep remembering gross things I did and now I feel like the biggest fraud to friends and family and everything good in my life.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

new obsessions

every time my OCD finds something new to obsess about I feel like it’s the worst one yet. I used to think feeling like i don’t love my partner is the worst but turns out feeling like i cheated on him is so much worse. especially because it’s not cheating OCD but real event OCD. I somewhat entertained things with a friend a couple years ago (assumed he was probably into me and didn’t stop it/ liked the attention??) and even drunkenly fell asleep on his leg once. and i have talked about it with my bf but not the detail about sleeping on his leg (i’ve told him other arguably worse things (no kissing or anything like that)) and we’ve gotten past it. this was someone who i definitely never had feelings for and never wanted anything more out of than attention. but now i feel overcome by guilt and anxiety and i replay the scenarios over and over in my head. i feel the constant need to confess every last detail i remember but i read that confessing can be a compulsion? ugh anyone else dealing with real event OCD have any advice? I can’t see my amazing NOCD therapist anymore due to insurance issues :/

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