[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 1y
orpheniaorphenia
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
I’m so sorry you’re having these intrusive thoughts, please know you’re not alone. I too have struggled with POCD and there’s times I just wanted to be in bed all day bc I didn’t wanna face them. Even though you may wanna figure it out really badly the best thing I learned through therapy is when these thoughts arise is to say “hmm maybe, maybe not” or “we’ll see if they’re true or not” which I know doesn’t sound great right now but I guarantee over time it takes the power from these thoughts. Also the fact you’re feeling so negative from them meanings these thoughts are “ego-dystonic” meaning they do not align with what you want or who you are. Just know OCD will attack what we value most and try and make us feel like horrible people. You’re not alone friend
orpheniaorphenia
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@orphenia *means
liliesinbloomliliesinbloom
- Date posted
- 1y
@orphenia Thank you for replying. That sounds really difficult to sit with the maybe, maybe not, I haven’t been able to make myself try that but I probably should. I think I just get scared I’m using it as an excuse to have these thoughts/images, especially right now when I feel like it was my fault I had some of of the images. This definitely does not align with who I want to be. I feel like I know in my heart I can get better because I know I don’t want any of this, but then I question that too like why are you so hopeful or feeling ok after an episode or images/thoughts like that. I think you’re right, because I also have thoughts attacking my family sometimes and they are everything to me. So it’s attacking my values.
orpheniaorphenia
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@bloominglotus For sure I definitely can understand that, I’ve had Harm OCD thoughts about my own family and people close to me and as well as the POCD thoughts you can feel such a guilt around them. I would sometimes be having a good day and be like “you don’t deserve this, you’ve had these horrible thoughts” but truly we aren’t our thoughts. They don’t reflect who we are and they never will. ERP changed my life, and it’s not easy but facing those scary thoughts and just leaving them open ended and not fighting them or figuring them out is the best course of action. You’ve got this
carriejensoncarriejenson
- Date posted
- 1y
i’m in the same boat as you. i feel disgusted and humiliated and i keep looking at it as evidence that it’s who i am. but that’s the first thing we need to change, we need to remember these thoughts are not ours. in that moment where it feels impossible to keep going i’be been trying to stop and start deep breathing immediately. my brain is telling me i don’t deserve to even breathe but it’s a lie. try not to engage with your ocd because you’ll never win. even if you get an answer and evidence that you aren’t a p. it’ll come back stronger and more convincing. so try and stop your thought in its place. give it a maybe, because a yes or no will never be enough. try to turn on a podcast or audiobook while you do your deep breathing. i’ve been listening to an audiobook a psychiatrist wrote about how to change your thoughts and rewire your brain and that’s been helping a bit. just try not to engage! we’ll never be able to convince our ocd. no answer is good enough. you’ve got this! i’m right here with you!!
liliesinbloomliliesinbloom
- Date posted
- 1y
@carriejenson Thank you so much for sharing for experience and the advice, it means so much. I think I will try to focus on deep breathing, that’s a good idea. I sometimes get where it’s all of a sudden so many thoughts or images happening that it feels like I’m backed into a corner. So that would probably help me out of it. I will try the audiobook/podcast idea too. Thank you again, I hope things get better for you too.
carriejensoncarriejenson
- Date posted
- 1y
i’m sorry:( i completely get that. it feels SO overwhelming and heavy and unbearable at times, and really trying to focus on an audiobook/podcast while deep breathing keeps your mind pretty busy, and then ocd can’t come in as easily. thank you, i hope it gets better for both of us. i believe it will. 🫶🏼
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