Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 35w ago

Scared

I don't understand what changed, it feels like I genuinely want what my thoughts are telling me to the point anytime I feel disgusted, disturbed, and or scared. It feels like I'm lying to myself, I'm so scared right now. Once before, this was the last thing I wanted to do to the point I swore I'd take my own life and now it feels like a complete 360. I don't know who I am anymore or of this is what I want, please, I just want someone to talk to or advice.

"Pure" OCD

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 35w ago

Hi, please ground yourself. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and I feel like this atleast once a day I’m not kidding. Think of one thing you can see, one thing you can touch, one thing you can smell, etc.) Use your senses to focus on other things. I know this doesn’t always work- but give that big brain a break! We’re too smart to fall prey to these thoughts. Got it? You’re not alone. You’re a great person.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 35w ago

How can I be a great person when it feels like a want these thoughts, I'm a monster. It feels like the past had been lying to me now

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 35w ago

@Anonymous Okay, so I’m dealing with these too. These thoughts aren’t us and we aren’t them. Look at what you just typed. “It FEELS…” a feeling doesn’t mean it’s you. A fleeting thought is not YOU. I honestly feel as if everyone has fleeting intrusive thoughts, but they don’t attach themselves to them as someone with OCD tends to do. I hope this makes sense. Keep your mind busy and think positively. Accept them as stupid little thoughts and like my gram always says, “Throw them out the window.”

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 35w ago

@StrongGurl But what if I've believed it for so long now? It just feels like it's apart of me now. The guilt of believing such thoughts are what always bring me back. I feel such shame for believing them even though I felt forced go. I know it's not my fault, but it feels like I had a choice to believe it or not and now it just feels like I've been lying to myself

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 35w ago

Also, dude. Listen. If you actually wanted these things, or believed these things- you would NOT feel bad about them.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 35w ago

That's a fair point 😅 I guess I've just believed that since my feelings were now WANTING my thoughts that I mo longer had a choice in the matter because it feels like I'm just in denial

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 35w ago

Okay okay okay, now you’re sounding more like me. You and I have created false memory thoughts- things that have been with us for so long that we believe they happened, or that we feel this way. This simply isn’t true. We have forced ourself to believe it. Shut it off/

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 35w ago

Also, your dog is cute. Cuddle him

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 35w ago

Awh thank you and I will 😊

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 35w ago

I mean listen to your brain LOL, but not THAT part of it. Clean ‘er up and be positive. !!!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

Hello again, can we talk?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

When you said we've forced ourselves into believing it, do you also suffer from feeling like your genuinely wanting or liking the thought? It's really scary.

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 31w ago

@Anonymous Yeah, what’s up?

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 31w ago

@Anonymous Yes… I feel that way. It is scary.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

@StrongGurl It's horrifying, it feels like I don't know myself anymore. Anytime I'm researching which I've begun to realize is a compulsion, I feel like I ACTUALLY want the thought, and I begin to question myself on why I'm researching when I know I want the thoughts. It feels like I've been put into someone else's skin and am now changed

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

@StrongGurl Whenever you panic, do you ever feel like your lying to yourself about who you are and whenever you read about how your thoughts aren't you or that you don't wanna be that type of person. You feel almost like disappointed? I'm sorry if I'm being annoying, I'm having a bit of a panic attack thinking about this because it feels so fucking real and like I like it and whenever I try to calm myself down. It feels like I'm lying and I just wanna cry

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

@StrongGurl I'm sorry if I'm being a bother 😅

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

@StrongGurl Hey, you never responded to my messages, I was wondering if your okay?

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 31w ago

@Anonymous Hey, I’m so sorry i’ve been at work!!! I’ll read soon!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

@StrongGurl No worries!

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 31w ago

@Anonymous Hey, okay, so 1. You’re never a bother and 2. You’re letting your thoughts take you over. What I do when I feel that way, is take the thought, throw it out the window, and try to not think too much of it. I pray often as well and it always helps.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

@StrongGurl But what if I've changed, why is it feeling like I'm changed

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

@StrongGurl It feels like I like the change too, ugh, I was trying to spend time with my family and I couldn't even do that without having a panic attack about these thoughts. It feels like I'm not me anymore, like Im faking everything

Username: Hopefloats227Hopefloats227

Date posted: 35w ago

Try to calm down and relax. You’re here seeking reassurance because you’re anxious. OCD has a way of seeping into all these cracks and doing any and everything it can to make us doubt who we are. Give yourself a break today. Tell yourself you’ll worry about it tomorrow but for the rest of the day, you’re not going to try to figure out the truth.

Username: StrongGurlStrongGurl

Date posted: 35w ago

Yep, you got it. Listen to your heart and not your brain.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Right now I feel like I am going to act on my thoughts, or like I’m capable of acting on them, or like if I liked my thoughts. But I don’t want to! Then why does it feel like I did or like I wanted them?? It’s really f*cked up bc it is confusing me and my intentions. And now I can’t no longer know the answer to that!! It’s really frustrating and distressing, sometimes I can be sure about the answer but sometimes I just can not and it’s the worst. I legit feel like I’m going to act on them, why do I feel like that?!! I feel like I’m turning into a psychopath!!😫

Username: Rage against...

Date posted: 1y ago

Can someone please help me? PLEASE. I NEED SOMEONE

I’m so fucking torn and so fucking lost. The last couple days, I feel like something in me has switched. I feel horrible about my body, especially my boobs and my vagina. I feel uncomfortable with anything female about myself and I feel like I need to GET OUT of my body. I feel so hyper aware of my breasts and I can’t ignore them. Looking at my body makes me anxious and feel nauseated. I can’t function, I’m dreading showering tomorrow. I always have a physical sensation of something in my lower region. My voice and face and name and pronouns trigger me and make me uncomfortable. The intrusive thoughts are either gone or are in the form of feelings. I’ll look at my face and suddenly I will feel like I don’t like it and it makes me uncomfortable. I DONT WANNA BE TRANS BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS IS DYSPHORIA. I feel like I finally understand WHY people transition. I feel like I need to change something because this feeling feels permanent. I’ve been wearing baggy masculine clothes every day because anything feminine makes me nauseous and feel horrible. I just wanna separate myself from anything female right now. Furthermore, I now usually “perceive” myself as a man. It’s like there is a man inside of me. Literally i sometimes feel like a male in a woman’s body. I keep imagining myself as this man character in my head, everything I do I feel like him. I’m so fucking tired. I’ve been having panic attacks and sobbing hysterically all day yesterday and today. The thought of ACTUALLY being trans is so fucking scary that it makes me cry and feel sick but the way I feel right now I feel like I need to be transgender and become male or else I will live in this horrible foggy misery forever. This has only been 2 days. Is it weird that I feel like I don’t even want my old self back, or that I don’t want it to be OCD???? It feels REAL. Can OCD do this because I genuinely hate my femaleness right now and I SEE myself as a male. Everything about my past feels so superficial and fake and like it was never me. I feel like this is me. And I cannot stress how fucking deep this feels. I feel like I genuinely want the surgery now. Everything feels so different. I need help. When I look at symptoms of TOCD, I feel like that’s ME! I did all of these in the very beginning. And I feel relieved but not convinced. But now, I relate more to dysphoria than actual TOCD. Is this something that can happen?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 31w ago

Terrified

I'm scared I've become my thoughts or I think I'm scared, why does it feel like I genuinely want or like these thoughts. Anytime I remind myself it's OCD or that I don't like it, it feels like I'm lying to myself and that I've liked these thoughts. Please someone give me advice, I'd appreciate it

"Pure" OCD

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