Does anyone have any advice on how to best practice ERP? My ROCD revolves around constantly worrying about “what if I start to like someone else” and feeling like the scary awful feeling of having to break up. I do a lot of talking out loud and envisioning the scenario happening (my therapist and I do this) but the thoughts and worries are loud and that’s not really helping right now. Anyone with ROCD have any advice?
I try to do that as well, tell myself it’s just OCD, but it’s easier said than done for sure. I have to make it an affirmation or mantra for myself.
@samuellopez475 Exactly! We can do this, just put one foot in front of the other.
I struggle with ERP myself. The compulsion just relieves all the stress, even if only temporary. Does your partner know about your ROCD? Having a caring partner has been incredibly helpful for me. Even if I don’t talk about exactly what’s going on in my head, knowing they are supporting me feels good. I wish I had real advice, but I’m struggling myself and trying to find out how to get through this. But if you need to talk to someone, I’m here.
@samuellopez475 Yes! My boyfriend does know, and he’s very understanding and always there for me. It just really sucks bc I’ve been doing well in therapy and feeling better overall but at the start of last week it came back and I can’t seem to get rid of it. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll see a random man on the street that I don’t even know, and I’ll think to myself “what if you start to like them” or listening to podcasts with a guy trigger me. It’s awful, and I’m really trying to do the things my therapist and I work on but I feel like a failure. I just want it to go away so I can be with and love my bf the way I know I can.
I absolutely understand what you’re going through. My ROCD picks out things my partner would/could be upset over and hammers those points. With my ex, it was thoughts of cheating/finding someone attractive. My current partner doesn’t care if I find someone attractive (we’re same sex) so he will comment as well and it’s great and doesn’t trigger me. However, my partner is self conscious about his weight and now my OCD focuses on that and whether I really I find him attractive or not. It’s a struggle when you can’t trust your own head.
@samuellopez475 Yeah I totally get that. Unwanted imagines, scenarios and thoughts pester me all day long. It’s exhausting, and all I want is to be free to love my partner. I feel like from the outside looking in people don’t understand and say things like “just stop thinking those things then!” Like duh I would if I could! One thing I try my best to do is whenever a thought or something unwanted pops up, I acknowledge that it’s my OCD and get back to whatever it was I was doing. It’s hard when everything is so loud, but I hope the more I do it that one day everything will go quiet and I’ll be back to enjoying life with my partnerthe way I have before. Maybe try this and see how it works, it’s something that my therapist has told me (:
@Iamstrong2024! i struggle with this too and i’m going to try that! thank you. sometimes it just feels so scary and it’s hard to tell myself “this is just ocd” but i’m going to work on that
I feel like my Rocd has become more sophisticated. It’s made me feel as if my healthy loving boyfriend is this terrible person. Or I’ll be thinking to myself like “I love him”, and in middle thought I get “no you don’t”. It’s convinced me that our values and beliefs are just TOO different (we’ve only disagreed on one thing in our relationship, but we talk it out). It’s like my ocd is clinging on to every reason why I should break up, like I don’t want this anymore, even tho I do! It’s frustrating. And the idea of doing erp terrifies me. Because I’m afraid if I do erp statements, that I’ll agree with them. Can someone give insight
i feel like I can’t even enjoy time with my boyfriend anymore. No matter what we do, I’m constantly analyzing, checking, and questioning if I love him, if I feel anything, if I even want to be with him. It’s exhausting. I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel present, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve read about ERP, and I know it’s supposed to help, but I don’t know how to start. I feel like my fears are too real, like maybe this isn’t just ROCD—maybe I actually don’t love him, and I’m just scared to accept it. It feels like I’m lying to myself. I know my compulsions: I constantly check my feelings, analyze past memories, compare my relationship to others, and seek reassurance. I know I’m supposed to stop doing these things, but what do I do instead? What do I do when the thoughts hit me with full force and I feel completely numb? I’m scared to sit with the uncertainty. I’m scared that if I stop checking, I’ll realize I don’t love him. I want to do ERP, but I don’t even know where to begin. Has anyone successfully gone through this? How do you deal with the fear when it feels so real?
My spouse is my best friend. A few months ago I basically worshipped the ground he walked on. He’s the best partner in the world so no “maybe he’s not the right person” commentary. Lately my fear of going psychotic has brought back my intrusive thoughts about harming my husband. Now, whether it be from emotional dissociation or medications, I can’t feel any emotions so I’ve developed ROCD. This is ruining my life and has been a month from hell since my spouse/comfort zone makes me feel nothing. My therapist hasn’t given me any info on how to do anything about this other than reading a book (didn’t help). Any ERP suggestions? I haven’t done ERP before for these types of OCD
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