So am I the only one or am I going insane?????? My daughter was standing beside me and I was putting a band-aid on her finger and my brain said I can't wait to kill you.......?🥺😨😰😰 what's happening to me.? I've got to be the only person? Like can't be OCD..
Be calm! Those are not your thoughts. They can trigger an intense emotional reaction but don’t be bothered. I am here if you want to talk.
Would love to..... these thoughts has morphed into what seems un ocd. I'm feeling numb and I got derealization going on as well. These thoughts don't seem ocd I've had thoughts and images and urges but this this is different
@Anonymous OCD will try anything. If the thought causes distress, just consider it OCD.
@Hopefloats227 It's like my anxiety is gone also some other emotions if been stuck in this almost a month and it's morphed in to what happened today
@Anonymous Are you in therapy?
@Hopefloats227 Yes I got another session with my nocd therapist tomorrow?????
@Anonymous Good. Just try not to figure it out today. Tomorrow is going to be a better day. OCD attacks what we love the most. So you must be a very good mama.
@Hopefloats227 Agreed!
@Hopefloats227 No I use to be a very good Father.... But I feel like something in me has shifted or broke I feel like I'm gonna end up a murder or something.
If it makes you feel better, I’m going through the EXACT same thing you’re going through.
If it's exactly like my post then I know I'm not alone but I wish you wasn't.
@Catlove9 How are you doing
@HayBD Awful
And could you tell me what you mean by exactly???? Cause for your sake I hope it's not like this
@HayBD Sorry I thought that was to me
@Anonymous For me, I get thoughts when I go somewhere that are like “I can’t wait to kill xyz” or “You know you want to so just get it over with.” The thoughts alone are torture but then there are the urges where it feels like my body is about to do what I fear. If that wasn’t enough, I then have this feeling like I’m not in my body. Almost like I’m floating and not attached to reality. So these thoughts mixed with urges mixed with the feeling of not even being in my body, makes for an absolute horrible experience. I constantly worry if I should just be locked away and then that adds more anxiety.
@Catlove9 How long has this been going on for you? It's been a month basically for me.
@Catlove9 And when you say when you go somewhere is that basic public or like to friends and family??
@Anonymous It’s been a few months now. And it can apply to public or friends and family. I’m so lucky lol.
@Catlove9 Yeah we're lucky alright....... Bad luck 😒. I hope soon we both find peace
@Anonymous Yah. I’ve had OCD my whole life. But it’s really been so bad recently. I’m 36 now. The hardest for me is the feeling like I’m outside my body and having the urges and thoughts at the same time. It’s horrible.
@Catlove9 Idk if I had it my whole life but Harm Ocd showed up pretty textbook 3 years ago with the images and urges, lasted about a month then vanished. It came back Easter Sunday but this time changed into what I've posted about its been a very long and hard month.
@Anonymous Yah. Harm OCD came on for me 5 years ago. It’s been off and on but the last few months have been worse.
@Catlove9 I don't know how I'm gonna get through this this time it feels to real.
@Anonymous I am in the same exact spot. It feels like I’m holding myself back and I’ve just turned into this evil person.
@Catlove9 Saaaaame.
Trust me give it a chance. Let the meds build up in your system. I read so many Google reviews. It’s best to stay off there, especially for us with OCD lol. Therapy is very important as well, but I used to be 100% against meds thinking Im a man and can fight it by myself. The truth is It takes a bigger man to make himself vulnerable and accept the help. Trust the professionals.
I've searched this app high and low to find just one the same as me not just as reassurance but knowledge that these types of statements like I had are out there, but I've found none it's a lonely lonely feeling
There definitely out there. I get random words and sentences that don’t make since pop in my head multiple times a day. When I lay down to sleep sometimes I see random faces of people I’ve never met flash in my mind. It’s weird.
Could be worse to the point it's driving you mad..... I wouldn't wish this on nobody
@Anonymous We all say that. I promise you it can and will get better. I just finally gave meds a chance after six years of being afraid. I wish I would have done them sooner- it had made all the difference.
@Hopefloats227 I was put on Paxil years ago for something unrelated I was stressed and couldn't eat anything but it mad me feel so weird
@Anonymous I take Lexapro and not one side affect. The things is, there’s a lot of different meds. Try one, give it some time and if it isn’t for you, try a different one. I took Zoloft and had a terrible experience but I know people who it works wonders for. Everyone is different.
@Hopefloats227 Also I started at 5 mg, waited a week, went to 10 mg, waited a week, and so on. I didn’t go straight to the recommended dose- I let my body adjust slowly :)
@Hopefloats227 I just don't want the meds to cause me do hurt anyone or myself
@Anonymous It’s a good chat for your appointment tomorrow :)
@Hopefloats227 When did you see a difference
@Hopefloats227 I have a referral for meds
@Anonymous I’ve been back on meds for about 6 weeks… noticed significant improvement around 3 weeks.
@Hopefloats227 I'm glad you've found relief
It’s just your thought you got this!
Doesn't seem like it. I've never had it like this.
@Anonymous Have you been watching crime shows or scary movies at all?
@KaykCallaway Only thing was a month ago on tiktok of a mother who killed her kid.
@Anonymous That’s triggering your trauma, turn on some praise and worship or watch other stuff besides triggering urself scrolling on your phone.
@KaykCallaway That was over a month ago. I haven't looked or saw anything else
@Anonymous Just the battle of the mind. You didn’t actually commit any wrongful doing
@KaykCallaway I know I just don't understand why my brain would say that
@Anonymous Because we’re sick :/ and we are in therapy and it’s not our fault.
@KaykCallaway It's never attacked me like that
I’ve been there as well. Derealization is scary and it’s like a alternate reality. Just understand this is OCD and intrusive thoughts. I’ve had thoughts of harm to my kids but it literally wasn’t my thoughts. Intrusive thoughts will trigger extreme emotional reactions, which makes it feel even more real. But look at it this way, you’re having that reaction because that thought is not yours and nothing you would ever do. If you didn’t have a reaction to that thought then that’d be something to worry about. You are ok I promise.
Yeah but like hope stated, OCD will try anything to make you believe these are your thoughts and you’re not ok and not normal. It could be you know the thought isn’t real so it may have bothered you but you could see through it.
I just don't see ocd doing this to anybody else in this manner so it's kinda worrying
@Anonymous I completely understand how you’re worried. I’d like to share some of my intrusive thoughts in hopes it’ll help. I get thoughts of what if I randomly drove into an intersection on a red light and hurt my family or what if I got mad and hurt one of my kids, which I have never even came close to that or don’t even get that mad. This is just fake thoughts.
@Anonymous I've had those too. But these, these are something I've never experienced. I feel like I need to lock myself up in a mental institution
Whether it be ocd or something else I’m here to talk. We have a strong community here and it always helps to talk. Try taking some deep breaths and focus. Every experience we go through makes us stronger.
Thank you. I had one textbook intrusive thoughts when my daughter was a little over 1 and it lasted a couple weeks and disappeared and I've been good for 3 years. Then it came back Easter Sunday as some intrusive statements but morphed into what we have today. I'm exhausted.
Have you sought any professional help such as a psychiatrist?
I reached out to NOCD because the last time it seemed like ocd I got an assessment through them. They said ocd but I've been getting worse. I've posted like 3 times in this community about it
I met with a psychiatrist and he prescribed lexa pro. I am up to 20 mg once daily. I’m telling you this medicine has changed my life! 0 side effects. I was so scared of taking medicine, but let me tell you the one sentence that changed my life. I went to the Crisis center and had a melt down thinking I wasn’t a good dad, even though I have a great life. The worker there told me this. Are you not willing to try the medicine for your children? This changed my life forever. I’m a year on lexa pro and I can actually sit and watch a movie now without thinking about millions of other things. I am so grateful for life and my kids. The help is there, you are strong enough to reach out.
They gave me a referral for meds. I'm just afraid the meds is gonna make me worse or make me do something I'll regret.
That's what I'm saying..... I was getting anxious with the first thoughts and images. When that one happened the( I can't wait to kill you) I was numb feeling to it
How are you doing
Not to good.
@Anonymous Checking in on you. How are you?
Idk if I have ocd or not I just want to know about 4 months ago I started getting harmful thoughts to loved ones im very scared because I would never hurt anyone. These thoughts scare me so much because they are so vivid and I have like these urges as if I’m going to do it. What is this? Am I ok? Am I going crazy please someone help it feels like I can’t take it anymore living this way with these thoughts haunting me day and night.
Has anyone else ever had harm ocd to the point of where you having thoughts about killing someone to get something? It freaked me out.
I have severe various forms of ocd. Now it’s harm related. I love my family and daughter but today all of the sudden when I’m driving I had a horrible thought of: omg i will kill my own child one day because I’m crazy. And this thought is so horrifying because I have no intentions of harming anyone but these thoughts come up and I’m freaking out…anyone else have extreme intrusive thoughts?
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