- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi! I think you know that you’re being irrational here. The helplines both told you it isn’t transmitted like that so that’s fact. You don’t have HIV. Take your mind off this somehow and relax, you’re safe & it’s just your ocd talking x
- Date posted
- 5y
Thankyou xxx
- Date posted
- 5y
Just for context: I stuck my hand into a bush to turn on the hose and got poked by something. I straight up convinced myself that there was an hiv covered needle in the bush outside my house sticking straight up???? <—- this is and not rational LOL and similar to the spiral you just described. Im hoping my spiral is distanced enough from your own to see the irrational aspect of it. No shade or shame at all to your story, im hoping this is helpful to examine. All the best xx
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m scared the blood wasn’t mine and it got in my cut and infected me
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you genuinely see my situation as irrational yeah? I actually HOPE I’m being irrational so I can put it to bed haha ? thanks for replying xx
- Date posted
- 5y
Can’t believe I called again ? Guy on the hiv helpline said “no risk, no need to test, it would have to be a deep open wound requiring stitches and hiv doesn’t survive outside the body, try not to worry” Also it was probably my own blood ? The sexual health helpline said pretty much the same fucking thing too what’s my PROBLEM ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I called him again just to reiterate He said the fact the blood was liquid form doesn’t matter I’m STILL not at risk and my partner isn’t either He was so lovely and when I apologised for being frustrating he said not to worry and think about getting help for the anxiety. He said I was a picnic compared to some people He tried to talk me through various reasons why I’m not at risk: my cracked bleeding hand isn’t an entry point. There’s no way it would survive outside the body. I’d need to have a gaping wound requiring stitches and the blood would have to be essentially poured in. Statistically I’m more likely to win the lottery than even come into contact with that kind of blood He just told me to take care then
- Date posted
- 5y
I just felt immense relief - remember this when ocd attacks again
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m anxious about HIV. What if I get it? That’s a scary thought to me. And then I’m scared/worried about giving it to others, not knowing if I have it, etc.
- Date posted
- 14w
Nobody is responding to my posts and i’m literally going insane right now i don’t know what to do my ocd keeps telling me i cheated on my boyfriend and got pregnant by someone else but the thing is i never did i’ve never cheated and i’m absolutely positive that my boyfriend is the father of my baby because it’s impossible for anyone else to be and i want to confess so bad but the thing is i didn’t do it and i don’t want to ruin me and my baby’s life over something i didn’t even do it’s so stressful can someone please please help me
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