TikTok ruins me

I don’t know what to do because I want to stop imagining scenarios/checking but I feel like if I force myself to stop doing that, then I’m in denial? Like I’ll start to think ‘you’re trying not to think about it because you don’t want to acknowledge it’. Does that make sense? Or like my tiktok feed right now is just full of lgbt content because I use it all as a means of checking, and I don’t want to do it anymore but I feel like if I don’t watch them, I’m purposefully avoiding because I’m in denial or something. I want to scream.

Recently, I had a really bad bout of ROCD, but when my boyfriend came to visit for the first time in a while it settled down a bit because I was happy to see him, and things have been pretty good since then. But this morning I saw a tiktok about a girl complaining about how her boyfriend doesn’t do that many little things, which is a very minor problem I have in my relationship, and everybody in the comments was telling her to leave him. It was extremely triggering, even thought I’m very happy with my boyfriend and he treats me well. I wish I had never watched that tiktok.

Worried that I’m gonna speak negativity into existence after seeing a video on tiktok saying that you speak things into existence. Dude I hate this so much. I hate this so much.