- Username
- Chellie
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Omg I hope this gets bettee
Thank you guys :(
This is abusive behaviour and is 100 percent not your fault in any way. If your father isn’t coping with your struggles, it is his responsibility to get help he needs and taking it out on you is awful behaviour. Do you have any trusted adults you can speak to about this outside of your family ?
Just remember that they CHOOSE to treat you the way they do, and it is not your fault how they choose to respond, that is entirely on them. Maybe you are a handful sometimes, but you don’t deserve that kind of treatment from your own parents. You’re struggling and you need support and not abuse. You wouldn’t treat a child suffering from a physical disability the way they treat you. It’s NO different. You are worthy and you are needed and you are not the sum of how your parents treat you. Hold in there. I’m so sorry you’re in such awful position, but you aren’t alone.
I hope so. I get worse every day and I want to die more and more. I feel worthless and my life feels the same way. My willpower is drained from this disease. I'm so tired...
Be strong you can beat your ocd
Don't lose hope you are not alone we all are there
I’m so sorry to hear this. Keep fighting❤️
They always pick their side, honestly, I mean I'm the crazy one who washes her hands 100 times after all. They enable me a lot (I know its bad but its hard to break this patterns after almost 3 years... I wanna but they get mad at me when I have panic attacks, not a great incentive) and people feel bad for them that they have a kid like me it seems like. I feel completely and utterly alone. It also doesn't help that the workers never saw their breakdowns but they have seen mine. I get that they're tired, but do they really need to threaten to kick me out every time my OCD makes me freak out and cry... :(
I asked them that too, if I was in a wheelchair if they'd do this to me too, they told me it was different. They enable me for years and 3 weeks before treatment they stop, it almost feels like they want me to lose my mind :(
Chellie, just hang in there. I can understand how painful hearing that from your parents can be. I have had family members straight up try and disown me because of how much I (unintentionally) drained them. Just hang in there. I want you to live! We all here want you to live! You can get better! Trust me! It just takes time and the right strategies, but I promise you, it is shining very brightly outside if this dark cave we are in, and one day, we will make it out and will finally enjoy the sunshine and freedom that is rightfully ours!
Chellie, I feel the same way... But, just know, someone out there (me) cares about you. Even though that might not mean much, because we don't know each other. I have you in my thoughts. I will add there is new hope on the horizon. New medicications that work different from all the other meds and new methode are on the horizon. I know that in your country that perhaps this mental illness isn't seen as super serious, but here in my country (US) it is seen as serious and there are many organizations working hard day and night to find ways to put this disease in the history books. If we can just tough it out just a bit longer, we will perhaps be able to live full, productive, and meaningful lives!
Thank you so much you are such a sweetheart. Could you check out my latest post? I could use some help if you are ok with that
@Chellie Can you please read my clarifications to what I said on your other post? Please?
My dad and I got in a physical fight today. I was screaming in a panic attack, frustratedly yelling and he decided to spit at me (contamimation OCD so that was awful), it eventually escalated to the point where he hit me, choked me and kicked my leg. I peed myself from fear when this all happened onto the floor. My mom and sister had to restrain him from hitting me more. My leg still hurts hours after. I'm at my uncle's now as the crisis service did not think me staying there was a safe situation. I can't stop thinking about it. My relationship was great with my dad before I got OCD. But ever since it has gotten to this point. This is not the first time it has happened either. He promised last time it wouldn't happen again. I still love him and want to forgive him as we had a great relationship before OCD. I don't know how to cope with all this. I am trying to sleep but my leg hurts and it keeps reminding me of what happened today. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to trust him again... certaintly not while having a mental illness I feel like. I wish I could sleep but I just feel like crying.
I’m angry. Irritated. Whatever. I’m in a day program and yesterday they’re freaking out because I was open about my harm ocd. The dr I saw yesterday in the afternoon that wasn’t my actual doctor talked to me and told them it’s just ocd. Today my actual doctor told me to TELL MY FATHER THE THOUGHTS I GET OF STABBING HIM AND MY MOM IN THEIR SLEEP. Because “I don’t think he’d understand if he heard it from me” ME EITHER. Why the HELL would you give meaning to my thought?! Why would you make me tell him?! There’s no purpose, he’s an idiot! He was like “so you get thoughts of murdering us in our sleep” and said “should I be ready”. And then my dumb self mentioned my pocd while trying to explain ocd to him. ?♀️ He’s “trying” to be better then he used to be but he still pisses me off. I miss my best friend, I used to trust her with this stuff. I hate talking about my dad to anyone else.
I broke down crying because my dad mentioned suicide. I mainly struggle with suicidal ocd, have been for about 9 months. Got diagnosed and started therapy in March and I feel like I’m slowly improving, but of course get moments here and there. Not medicating for now. Anyways, today was feeling pretty alright, thoughts more in the backseat, in a good mood, I was excited to go into the pool with my family and catch some sun, celebrate Father’s Day, etc. So my family and I are sitting together by having lunch and my dad is talking about this tooth pain he started having last night. He was saying that it was getting so bad to the point where you would do anything to stop it. My mom joker and said “oh I should hit you on the leg or something to distract you from the pain” and my dad said “I meant more like a bullet to the brain”.... That stopped me dead in my tracks and I felt panic and an emotional reaction coming up. I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t so I politely excused myself to the bathroom. My parents knew what happened (they’re aware of my theme), so I went to the bathroom and burst into tears. After a little I was able to collect myself, breathe, and join them saying to drop it and continue eating. Not gonna lie it shocked me a bit the reaction I had. But I HATED hearing that. It was too much and I wish he never said that.
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