I'm dying, I need someone to talk to please ROCD

Thank you for replying I'm having a terrible intrusive thought and I just can't stop ruminating for the past week probably and it's from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep, are you ok if I share it with you?

@Anonymous Yes of course share with me

@ambermayx Thank you: Right now I'm having the same thought, it really started when I told my boyfriend that before him I might have liked someone else (not really liked but more of an attraction, I'm not really sure) but when I told him he almost broke up with me because my OCD made me tell him specific situations. And now I've been struggling with different OCD themes but this is the one that's killing me at the moment. My intrusive thought is that what if I still like this person and not my boyfriend when I know I love my boyfriend but not having the certainty of anything (not only with this intrusive thought) it's just so difficult so I'm constantly reviewing and searching for confirmation. Please help, I don't know what to do.

@Anonymous I’ve just seen your post from earlier come up ! I actually have a similar situation and relate so you’re not alone at all I also confessed situations to my bf and also have spoke to the other person whenever I bump into him and I feel guilty because he flirts with me and I do it back and so I feel like a terrible person but I have told my bf everytime it happens

@ambermayx Omg, I know it might be just terrible, and I just question myself so much and I hate it I truly do. I don't know what else to do, I just think the same thought all day and it doesn't stop snot gets to q point where I'm just confused or I don't know I just feel terrible

@Anonymous Yes it makes me confused and like I don’t know what’s right for me but deep down I genuinely know I’m in the right relationship

Thank you for answering I'm having a hard time with ROCD and it's just killing me to be honest and I can't difference reality anymore I feel super bad

@Anonymous I’m having the same issues, with ROCD as well. Today was especially bad :( Just today I felt very snippity with my boyfriend and I hate it because the smallest things would make me overthink and overanalyze everything. What kind of ROCD thoughts are you having?

@jacky! Hi yes it's incredibly difficult and it just doesn't stop and it's making me go nuts to be honest, and I know I can't share it with my boyfriend because it will hurt him. I truly just wished I could be like before, I had intrusive thoughts and just let it go, but now it's impossible and it truly confuses me and makes me feel horrid

@jacky! I posted the thought right above in the comments, I'm really thankful you guys answered, I feel so lonely, I have no friends and I can't tell this to my boyfriend

@Anonymous After reading it I will say that it’s very important to not act on your intrusive thoughts, mainly because they aren’t real. They will keep ruminating and lingering over and over again until it beats you completely down. I really wish there was a way to give more advice, but as someone who’s having similar intrusive thoughts and struggling bad, this is all that I have :( I understand in not telling your boyfriend, as to how he reacted before, but maybe sitting him down and talking to him about ROCD and OCD as a whole can help him understand you. I talked to my boyfriend about it, which he somewhat understood, but knows that these thoughts are intrusive

@jacky! Yes I would never act on my thoughts and I know that as a fact, but it's just making me feel super bad because it's making my brain turn like a soup😂 i truly don't know how else to put it

@Anonymous Haha! I totally get it so don’t worry! Sometimes I do get distant with my boyfriend and annoyed heavily by him whenever my intrusive thoughts get super bad, but I still try my bestest to stick it out. It makes my brain like soup too! If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been dealing with ROCD?

@jacky! Well, I've actually been like having different themes but ROCD has been present in my life since last month, and it's always the same thought well there is others too but this is the one I hate the most because I know it would hurt my boyfriend, and OCD always targets what you care about the most

@Anonymous I definitely agree. My past OCD thoughts were about my sexuality and about death, HOCD thoughts were horrific tho, literally contemplated suicide, with ROCD, I can feel myself getting bad again. I am not managing it right like how I used to, and it’s taking big toll on me. I can also see my that it’s taking a toll on my boyfriend, but he’s being strong about it, but part of me feels like he’s scared I’m going to give in the thoughts and leave him. I just want to breathe again, feel normal, live my life normally and happily with my boyfriend like I used to. Curse these damn thoughts!!!

@jacky! Yes, same here I was battling with SO OCD as well, but when I stopped that one this one just popped in my brain and it doesn't seem to stop. I'm really sorry you went through hell, OCD is no joke, makes us think and feel things that confuses us and we hate that, and it truly physically hurts

@Anonymous It’s the absolute worse, I wouldn’t wish this on anybody.. not even my enemies!!! I’m just so exhausted in feeling this way and it pouring out onto my loved ones. I truly do hope we can get over this and no longer struggle again. We deserve to live a peaceful, happy life, not struggle with these thoughts

@jacky! Yes it's incredibly hard, and most people don't know how bad it can get making them not understand our situation. Yes I'm really exhausted and it's just terrible, you are right, we deserve to live happily, I wanted to ask if it's normal to not have certainty of anything, it makes me feel terrible to be honest. I hope we all get better

Hi, thank you for responding. And yes, it feels like we are so lonely because of these things that happen in our lives, and we just wished we don't have it, it's really difficult. And it's great to talk to be honest, but with people that understand the situation, because I feel like if I told mi boyfriend what my brain is going through and it's thoughts (because they are not mine I swear they feel so real but I hate it) I think the only thing that would happen is that it would break his heart, and I don't want that to happen. Can I ask you a question please?

@Anonymous yes of course what is your question? and i have dealt with that same situation of telling my boyfriend and hurting him

@Anonymous Thank you, is it normal, like my thought, is it normal that all of a sudden I had a thought of liking someone who isn't my boyfriend, and can't stop ruminating and my brain creating thoughts, situations, ideas, sensations, memories, etc. to want to confirm this thought that I don't like. And because I've had it for so long, I'm starting to just feel like dull. And the only thing that I want is a happy life with my boyfriend but this thought just doesn't stop and it's confusing me, making me feel super guilty and really really really bad

@Anonymous that’s just OCD. think now in your brain, you know you only want and like your boyfriend. intrusive thoughts like this are are normal with rocd!! it sounds like you really love your bf and you don’t want these thoughts! the fact that you keep worrying and thinking about it to prove that you don’t like it or want it to be true shows it.

@Anonymous Yes but it feels so real and I don't like it:( makes me very sad. And it makes me hate myself to be honest, like such a terrible girlfriend. I really hope it is OCD, sometimes I even question if it is. I have not had this thought if I didn't tell my boyfriend what happened in the past, which made him feel really sad. And now my OCD knows what makes the most important person in my life feel extremely sad, and it's grabbing it, and making it even hard to differentiate reality with the intrusive thought and it's hurting me. Like I have a thought with that same person and my reaction and that's what I'm going through, my brain is just trying it's best to try to confirm it when I don't want to.