I feel extremely gross right now(ramble/vent)

I haven't changed my underwear in about a week and a half because I don't have any clean underwear, it's all dirty and for some reason I just can't suck it up and do the laundry this time so I've just been wallowing away in my bed feeling and smelling gross, when I think about doing the laundry I get exhausted at the thought and then I think I'm a disgusting failure and then I just don't try at all and I just lay down and sleep to escape it all I don't understand why it's so hard for me to function like other people, my room is a disaster and idk where to start, I'm spiraling so badly, I have a pile of trash in my room that I'm for some reason just waiting for the "perfect moment" to throw away, I can't do this anymore, and I never say anything to my therapist because it's so fucking embarrassing even though I KNOW that she's there to help me through this, I can't bring myself to show anyone the state I let myself live in, I feel guilty and lazy and dumb. I need to ask for help but idk how, I've had help so many times with this and my room always gets worse, I hate my room, I want my old room back, I think I do this to show that I need my old room back? But I can't have it for reasons I don't feel like explaining rn because it's complicated, I miss my childhood room, it was perfect and it had everything I wanted and it was just taken away from me, I didn't mind it being taken, a room is a room, but I'm so possessive of my things and I like to have my things exactly as they are so I don't change anything ever. Even if that means cleaning my room, this is what I know now and I refuse to change it. I wanna fix this so badly

Young adults with OCD

otterbuzzed

Date posted: 47w ago

i sometimes i find it a little easier when i section out my room, and clean a little bit each day. do a small load of laundry just little by little. slow progress is still progress

whatever.

Date posted: 47w ago

Omg, I never thought I would come across someone who has the same compulsions as me when it’s comes to this. Sometimes I don’t shower for 1-2 days because I’m tired. All of my laundry STAYS dirty in a pile because I’m CONSTANTLY washing it. I do at least a load a day. I have a lot of clothes but I’m always changing because I always feel dirty even after I’ve showered. My room is disgusting but I can’t help it. I sleep and smoke weed to get a break. I’m mentally exhausted and don’t want to live like this anymore. Not to mention the piles of dirty laundry are all carefully curated on my floor because I dont want to touch the laundry either.

whatever.

Date posted: 47w ago

@whatever. Also I always wait for the “perfect moment” to get up and tackle my room full of laundry EVERYWHERE and trash EVERYWHERE. It’s so wild to see someone I can relate to

Catastrophic...

Date posted: 47w ago

I have been here and it’s never easy. I use to skip showers for weeks at a time and the current state of my room is looking like the hoarders show if I’m being honest. It’s tough and mentally draining to even think about. I was told just work on it 15 minutes a day and it’ll start to show progress. I find that an energy drink helps motivate me to be productive and that gets the laundry done if I don’t find a distraction (of course ask your doctor before drinking them if you’re new to them). Keep your head up and push through!

Anonymous

Date posted: 47w ago

Someone once told me something worth doing is worth half-assing. Meaning if it's something you need, want, or should do it's better to do it a little then not at all. You don't have to clean the whole room in one day, you don't have to take all the trash out of there in one day, start by doing a little things, wash your body with a washcloth in the sink just so you smell a little less, take a little bit of trash out of your room every time you walk out to go to the kitchen.

leena445

Date posted: 25w ago

im so confused

im not diagnosed, but these past two days have been terrible. i constantly have this underlying feeling that i might do something that i think is gross and i feel like i can’t do anything on my own because otherwise i might do something wrong. like i feel like i constantly have to be in front of people so that i can make sure of my every action. this is so exhausting and I’m so confused. and like i keep getting terrible images and stuff replaying in my head. i also try to recall what happened but i feel like i have false event too. i used to have religious ocd and that eventually stopped completely, but now it feels like all my work getting over that was pointless. also like i feel like i might have contamination ocd but not the typical germ type. I just get terrible images and I can’t remember if those images are true or not even though they’re impossible and i feel terrible. I don’t know if i could ever get over this because even the thought of it is terrible.

AJ_813

Date posted: 24w ago

Help

It’s 3am and I’m not doing well. I’m having an overwhelming amount of anxiety. I need to feel mentally clean but I’m dirty. I’ve had bad thoughts and I’m ashamed. I feel like I can’t even write it down. I want to say it aloud to someone but my wife is sleeping right next to me so doing a therapy call would be impossible. I’m feeling helpless. And so guilty for my thoughts.

FairyWithaKnife

Date posted: 20w ago

I just don't know

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

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I feel extremely gross right now(ramble/vent)

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