I feel extremely gross right now(ramble/vent)

I haven't changed my underwear in about a week and a half because I don't have any clean underwear, it's all dirty and for some reason I just can't suck it up and do the laundry this time so I've just been wallowing away in my bed feeling and smelling gross, when I think about doing the laundry I get exhausted at the thought and then I think I'm a disgusting failure and then I just don't try at all and I just lay down and sleep to escape it all I don't understand why it's so hard for me to function like other people, my room is a disaster and idk where to start, I'm spiraling so badly, I have a pile of trash in my room that I'm for some reason just waiting for the "perfect moment" to throw away, I can't do this anymore, and I never say anything to my therapist because it's so fucking embarrassing even though I KNOW that she's there to help me through this, I can't bring myself to show anyone the state I let myself live in, I feel guilty and lazy and dumb. I need to ask for help but idk how, I've had help so many times with this and my room always gets worse, I hate my room, I want my old room back, I think I do this to show that I need my old room back? But I can't have it for reasons I don't feel like explaining rn because it's complicated, I miss my childhood room, it was perfect and it had everything I wanted and it was just taken away from me, I didn't mind it being taken, a room is a room, but I'm so possessive of my things and I like to have my things exactly as they are so I don't change anything ever. Even if that means cleaning my room, this is what I know now and I refuse to change it. I wanna fix this so badly

Young adults with OCD

otterbuzzed

Date posted: 48w ago

i sometimes i find it a little easier when i section out my room, and clean a little bit each day. do a small load of laundry just little by little. slow progress is still progress

whatever.

Date posted: 48w ago

Omg, I never thought I would come across someone who has the same compulsions as me when it’s comes to this. Sometimes I don’t shower for 1-2 days because I’m tired. All of my laundry STAYS dirty in a pile because I’m CONSTANTLY washing it. I do at least a load a day. I have a lot of clothes but I’m always changing because I always feel dirty even after I’ve showered. My room is disgusting but I can’t help it. I sleep and smoke weed to get a break. I’m mentally exhausted and don’t want to live like this anymore. Not to mention the piles of dirty laundry are all carefully curated on my floor because I dont want to touch the laundry either.

whatever.

Date posted: 48w ago

@whatever. Also I always wait for the “perfect moment” to get up and tackle my room full of laundry EVERYWHERE and trash EVERYWHERE. It’s so wild to see someone I can relate to

Catastrophic...

Date posted: 48w ago

I have been here and it’s never easy. I use to skip showers for weeks at a time and the current state of my room is looking like the hoarders show if I’m being honest. It’s tough and mentally draining to even think about. I was told just work on it 15 minutes a day and it’ll start to show progress. I find that an energy drink helps motivate me to be productive and that gets the laundry done if I don’t find a distraction (of course ask your doctor before drinking them if you’re new to them). Keep your head up and push through!

Anonymous

Date posted: 48w ago

Someone once told me something worth doing is worth half-assing. Meaning if it's something you need, want, or should do it's better to do it a little then not at all. You don't have to clean the whole room in one day, you don't have to take all the trash out of there in one day, start by doing a little things, wash your body with a washcloth in the sink just so you smell a little less, take a little bit of trash out of your room every time you walk out to go to the kitchen.

FairyWithaKnife

Date posted: 21w ago

I just don't know

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

sara_24

Date posted: 14w ago

Anxious about everything

Guys I need help. I feel so alone . Basically I have this compulsion where I feel the need to write everything but this stems from me being anxious about EVERYTHING. Like my mom came in my room and I was irritated and snapped, immediately regretted now I keep writing “don’t be mean to mom next time” but I keep thinking about it. Then I think about how I finally left my house today and all the surfaces I touched that could’ve been contaminated and now I’m writing “next time don’t touch this and this”. Then I think about all the things I need to be doing for this week and I’m writing “don’t forget to do this and this” even though I’ve written it 5 times already. This is what happens everyday btw. My brain always thinks about something I need to be doing and making me anxious that I’ll forget it which is why I write it down on my notes app. I’m sooo mentally exhausted I need help pls!! Anyone have any advice ? I used to think I need to stop the writing but really I need to stop the anxious thoughts coming into my head . People say I need to accept the thoughts and let it go but that’s too hard for me

ConstantPain

Date posted: 10w ago

Dealing with a lot. Need support and company.

My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.

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I feel extremely gross right now(ramble/vent)

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