help :((. this is another thing i keep thinking about because of my hocd. so i’ve known a few people who were pretty obviously gay, but considered themselves straight for a long time. and then suddenly they woke up one day and were gay. so they were probably in denial for that long time. so now i wonder if i’ve been obviously gay my whole life and this is just me in denial. i’ve never liked girls or looked at them the same way as i do guys but now i can’t stop wondering so now whenever i see a pretty girl my brain says “omg are you attracted to her? do you like her?” and i don’t think i am cause it’s not the same as i am with guys but i’ve also lost attraction to guys bc of my hocd so this is all really freaking me out. idk what to do anymore.

okay thank you! it just gets hard because when i get better and things don’t really bother me anymore, then i wonder if it’s not really ocd and it doesn’t bother me anymore bc i actually am gay. it’s awful

i ordered the mindfulness book for ocd by jon hershfield!

and i hope it gets better than this. because i hate even still having the thoughts even though they don’t cause as much anxiety as they did before

yes that’s where i am rn. i don’t care to do compulsions bc these thoughts don’t seem true or real but then when i realize they don’t bother me is when my ocd kicks in and starts making me wonder if i’m okay with it cause it’s true and i don’t like that feeling or thought.

yes. thank you! i just hope that when my self help book comes in, and i get through it, i hope this all gets better. i don’t really have any other types or ocd, but i have been diagnosed with it and i’ve been an obsessive person my whole life. so i hope this book helps

^ I think sometimes though I (and hopefully others for reassurance reasons haha) obsess over whether I’m in denial like for example ‘but omg what if I know deep down and I’m denying the truth?’

@elliee? yes that makes complete sense when someone else says it! but my ocd brain just keeps doubting no matter what