am i a bad person for not letting these thoughts get to me anymore? I cringe when i get them, but i dont put any meaning behind them. Or atleast i try not to. Am i getting better? Because i feel like im a bad person and actually a p word for āacceptingā these thoughts. How am i ever gonna recover if my brain is always doubting?
it is never sustainable to push the thoughts away. i did it for two years, until i was so tired that i was FORCED to stop caring about my OCD thoughts and feelings as i was driving myself to insanity. disregarding them and not putting any meaning behind them is the only way to go, and it is always better to start sooner rather than later. no matter how disgusting you feel for not getting upset over them (TRUST me, i know exactly how you feel), continue doing so. it will get easier and easier over time, and simultaneously you will get less and less effected by your thoughts. you got this, you are not a bad person šš
You're improving. Think of a movie or video game where the villain is defeated, but then attacks one more time. That's what OCD is kind of doing. It's the proverbial hand shooting up in one last attempt to drag you back down.
recently my intrusive thoughts havenāt been bothering me much, unless iām busy doing nothing. i suffer from SO-OCD. whenever i think yes, these thoughts donāt bother me anymore, iām doing great, i then work myself up like āwell your thoughts are obviously true then otherwise they would make you upset and uncomfortableā. when i get the thoughts they do still make me feel this way but also not as strong. I do then panic and think iām something iām not, despite knowing the truth. also anyone know why they get worse when iām bored or not doing anything? š¢
I donāt expect anyone to give me any reassurance that Iām a good person, because I doubt it heavily now. I donāt want to fight anymore, I canāt do it. Iām a bad person. I canāt see the light anymore I donāt think I can get better from this anymore, I think Iām gonna give up, Iām actually gonna give up, this is actually really bad that I did this, this is my proof Iām a bad person, I thought about it so I just canāt. basically I saw a a picture of 12 year old boy, and I kept testing how I felt, now I donāt know why I did this cause I know itās wrong, meaning not good, but basically my brain was like ādo you think heās handsomeā and I said āmaybe I donāt know, I donāt think heās handsome. He might beā and oh my god I canāt believe I said something like this, I know some will say āoh it might be intrusiveā but I canāt anymore. I feel like Iām done. I donāt even know what kind of handsome I meant, all I know is that I was NOT trying to be disgusting in any shape or form but I canāt stand it, I canāt do this anymore
How should I cope. I keep getting bad thoughts about the holy Spirit and I feel so bad and guilty all the time. But I definitely do not want to act on them or even mention them. Ik God loves me, but my mind keeps painting a bad picture of him. I also when I try to be concerned about my bad thoughts, my mind will retaliate and say, how can u be scared of hurting someone u don't believe in. And it is really freaking me out... It's like I'm trying to degrade God or the holy Spirit for no reason. And I think I'm hurting there feelings and I feel hopeless and depressed all the time. And I'm just worried God is angry with me or he sees me as fit for punishment or something.
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