OCD and guilt

Hi this is my first time posting but I’ve been struggling lately with myself because of my ocd. Has anyone ever realized they hold a lot of resentment towards others because their life isn’t controlled by ocd? For me, I’ve recently realized I have resentment towards my siblings because they live completely normal lives (i.e. dating, friendships, work) but I struggle just to be alive some days because my ocd holds me back. I feel so incredibly guilty about it all because I find myself being jealous over their happiness when I don’t think I’ve ever even been happy. I’m not sure what to do about this and it’s affecting my relationship with my family because I’ve started distancing myself from them due to the overwhelming negative feelings.

Username: StormyskiesStormyskies

Date posted: 33w ago

I understand this. There’s a certain envy in seeing those who have it “so good” expressing petty grievances when it feels like your world and morality is slowly crumbling around you. I think it’s very normal to envy those who have what you do not. I often have difficulty even speaking normally to friends because my life feels so bleak, and joking and laughing like nothing is wrong is a luxury I don’t deserve, and they are so lucky to be able to smile without guilt. Mourning what you had, or could have had, is simple human experience.

Username: espressoloverespressolover

Date posted: 33w ago

@Stormyskies Thank you for this! I think you perfectly encapsulated what I am feeling. It does feel like I’m constantly mourning that no part of my life has ever been “normal” or stable and the only reason is because of me. I struggle daily with controlling my compulsions that I oftentimes neglect every other part of my life because it doesn’t feel as important when compared to what goes on in my head. I always feel so guilty and empty when I notice feelings of jealousy bubbling up against my own siblings because part of me is so proud and happy for them and I want them to be even better people than I will ever be but at the same time I’m so angry with life because I don’t think I will ever have what they have. It’s a vicious cycle.

Username: StormyskiesStormyskies

Date posted: 33w ago

@espressolover I’m glad I could speak to your experiences accurately! Yes, I go through the same thing, and my mind is often conflicted with thoughts of vitriol and of guilt. Seeing someone on the internet, for instance, complain about a small problem, or even someone else with OCD having difficulties with something I don’t find distressing, I immediately think “they don’t know the half of what I’m going through. I wish I could be back in their shoes.” But of course, at the same time, I know that two things can be difficult all at once, and that comparing struggles gets me nowhere and only breeds the bad things inside of me that I’m trying to heal from and improve upon. And now I want to wish people only the best in hopes of it returning to me someday. Jealousy is a struggle many face, especially those that life has been unfair to. As always, give yourself grace, know that you are never alone, and I hope you can find that healing and happiness soon as well.

Username: espressoloverespressolover

Date posted: 33w ago

@Stormyskies I think you’re completely right! I am trying so hard to push through the negative feelings and try to come to the root cause of it all because I’ve noticed I’ve only felt this way about my close family/friends and never really strangers. Comparing ourselves to others is one of the hardest aspects of ocd that unfortunately I struggle heavily with. I am trying to have more self awareness and compassion for myself and others even when I find it hard but thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! I hope we continue to heal and grow from this 🤍

Username: StormyskiesStormyskies

Date posted: 33w ago

@espressolover Absolutely! Human nature is not always black and white, so comparing yourself to others will get you nowhere as we all have our nuances. I think that’s a great thing to take into account and is a step towards healing. And it seems we share a lot of themes, so if you need to share experiences or just want someone with similar worries to talk to, I’m always open!

Username: BobbyIX32BobbyIX32

Date posted: 33w ago

hey, i totally get where you're coming from. feeling like you're on the sidelines of your own life because of ocd can be incredibly tough, especially when you see your siblings living without those same struggles. it's okay to feel those things, but i know it doesn't make it any easier. 💔 since i'm dealing with a different ocd theme, i might not have the exact answers, but i wanted to share something that's been a game-changer for me. there's this app called "unstuck ocd therapy tools" that my local ocd support group recommended. it's pretty cool because it offers ai-personalized guidance and exercises right when you need them. also, i've found the ocd reddit to be a helpful place to read about others' experiences and find support. maybe these resources can offer you some comfort and tools to navigate your feelings and relationship with your family. 🌟

Username: PhillipFillip1PhillipFillip1

Date posted: 33w ago

Seconding this!!!! The unstuck app is the best thing on my phone for my OCD

Username: espressoloverespressolover

Date posted: 33w ago

@BobbyIX32 Thank you for recommending the app and for your words of encouragement! I’ll try it out to see how it helps because I do often times feel like I’m “stuck” going through the motions. Negative feelings are oftentimes overwhelming and very easily lead to heavy sense of guilt at least for me. Anything to help assuage my struggle and anxiety over everything is appreciated 🤍

Username: BobbyIX32BobbyIX32

Date posted: 32w ago

@espressolover - hi! sorry for replying late. yes, i do hope the app gets to help you somehow! please do take care.

Username: anonymous shell

Date posted: 2y ago

so angry at everyone that doesn’t have ocd

lately i’ve just been so angry at anyone who doesn’t suffer from ocd. like i know it’s not their fault but i’m just so angry and jealous they don’t have to deal with this. i get mad when i see them do something as simple as sitting at the kitchen table without thinking about it when i could never in a million years do that because of my contamination ocd. i’m angry and jealous and i know i shouldn’t but i keep blowing up at people because of it. i know everyone has their issues but all i can think about is how much easier they have it because at least they aren’t like me. i’m just so jealous of everyone who doesn’t have to live like this. and i’m mad at myself for having ocd in the first place. it’s all so exhausting and i hate it.

Username: Anon112

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Guilt

Why do I feel so much guilt?! Is this normal with ocd?? I feel so many guilt and idek for what it’s like I feel guilt for even other peoples actions like my family or always wanting to do the right thing and then think back on times when I haven’t Is this common??

Username: batswithbootson

Date posted: 50w ago

OCD & misunderstandings

I've been told before that I have a "victim mentality" due to the OCD. I disagree with that statement and here is why: • I still fight through my anxiety every single day. I fight OCD like my life depends on it. I do things & have learned how to function even though I'm in public or socializing & all I wanna do is go home & scream. But I can't do that. I have to fight to be healthy, as all of us do. • When I have TRULY been panicking or grieving (my dad passed almost 8 years ago, & it's been very hard for me to "get over"), I'm told I'm "living in the past". But...you don't just "get over" a loss like that. You don't. You just learn how to live around it. • I have placed myself in some bad situations because of my lack of self-love/self respect and THAT is my fault. What isn't my fault is how another person treats me. That is on them. Not on me. My responsibility is only how I choose to respond. But, in essence, I have been told numerous times that I have a "victim mentality" and I'm confused as to what people mean when they say that. Yes, I have put MYSELF through the ringer; but what the other person did to me was THEIR action. I didn't cause them to do what they did. • I live in poverty (as most of us do, especially in this economy) & everyone thinks everything is so simple. "Oh, just go trade your car in for something better!" "Oh, just pay off $2k for a government grant to go to college, then you can go!" No. That includes money I don't have. I don't HAVE $2k laying around to go and do whatever with. (I should have listened & saved my money when I turned 18, and that part IS my fault, but I digress). Has anyone else ever experienced shame or guilt related to their OCD & how, sometimes, it's hard to function? Or just be a typical "adult". Because we're not typical. It doesn't make us bad, or bad people, because we aren't. But as I'm growing older I'm finding that more and more often this world & the way it's run just isn't built for people with mental illnesses or OCD.

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OCD and guilt

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