- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate to this im so exhausted. I dont know if I already am but just suppressing it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Good to know my life is gonna be like dis forever?? damn wtf did i get myself into
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
You’re gonna have to accept that it’s a possibility so you get bored of worrying about it so much !! Just know that recovery is possible , as your mind and brain can be trained to develop a more positive thinking pattern which would make the anxiety way less strong. Think of it this way , if you can go from feeling normal to horrible at one specific point in time ( The very beginning of your OCD journey ) then you can work towards going back to normal as long as you don’t put pressure on yourself and change your thinking process.
- Date posted
- 5y
I have been struggling with common situation for 25 years. It's a very difficult condition and very torturing
- Date posted
- 5y
Ik you think that right now and so do I but im hoping eventually it will get better.
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- 5y
I dont want this i want it gone removed deleted and forgotten i dont want it on and off i dont wanr ir 25 years i fucking cant believe that its not able to just en cured. This shit got me so mad because it screws my brain up entirely and im freaking done and why does this have to make life sooo damn hard. I dont want to be married and have children while having hocd. Once that was my biggest dream but if its with hocd i dont want none of it because its not the real me who is raising my children and its not the real me whose loving my husband. Im not me when hocd is present
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer. I know you don’t want that. I suffered in silence for a long time from 18-27 with those 3 versions of OCD. I take medication now and have since but now I really need to do ERP.
- Date posted
- 5y
@kent79. How old are you. I’ve been dealing with it off and on for 20 years since age 18. I’m married with 2 kids so that always scares me too. I dealt with POCD and Harm OCD as well.
- Date posted
- 5y
@BP1982 With all of the doubts from hocd how did you get to the point where you were confident enough to marry your wife? I'm looking to move in with my boyfriend, but I have intrusive thoughts that keep saying that I'm gay or that I don't really love him. I know they're not true, but they're super terrifying.
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 It was hard. Like I said though the thoughts have waxed and waned over the years. It’s been a lot harder recently. Maybe because of stress with the new baby, but my most recent trigger was watching Bohemian Rhapsody for some reason. I don’t really have any suggestions on what to tell you about moving in with your boyfriend. https://www.ocdbaltimore.com/hocd-sexual-orientation-ocd-denial/ This article is very informative though.
- Date posted
- 5y
@BP1982 I am forty years old
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 17w
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
- Date posted
- 15w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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