Hey so I’m an 18 year old college student I’ve had ocd for a long time but I never wanted to admit this aspect of it as part of it and I still don’t. That’s why I won’t say it cause I’ll just end up crying again. I don’t even want to post about it cause this would just make the problem real. I know I’m not sexually attracted to them but my mind wants to trick me and I end up getting confused on which is rlly me, like the other aspects of my ocd. It spiked ig when someone sent me a meme and it was fine but at the end of it it showed a child being shown in a sexual way which was suppose to I guess be funny but it wasn’t rlly funny to me at all and got uncomfortable and the pocd thoughts came in hard and I had such a bad panic attack and then I felt the need to go back and check to see what I was feeling and went to the video the next day after avoiding it to see which after reading the threads here is I guess a big no no? I know I’m not sexually attracted but my mind is playing these games and confuses me and I’m so scared to even talk to my therapist about it or ask people for help cause what if they think I’m a pedophile? Children genuinely make me happy and I have a motherly instinct to care for them but my mind turns it into something darker and I know I don’t think of these kids sexually but it’s like I have the power to?And that freaks me out so much and it won’t leave me alone I don’t know what to do I know I’m not one but my mind is tricking me and it’s freaking me out and if my mind says it could be what if other people think I am no one I trust will even understand idk what to do I just needed to put this somewhere to vent

I was in the thick of PCOD for a year or so and I understand the intense fear. I couldn’t even look at a child without feeling terror. It does and can get better. If you’re afraid your therapist will think you are a pedophile, It might be helpful to find some reputable info on POCD and print it out. You could take it with you to your next appointment and give it to her and simply say you think you might be struggling with it. This opens up the conversation without any pressure for you to speak more about it, and if they’ve never heard of POCD before, you’ve given them something for context. If they don’t have any experience with it they’ll probably refer you to someone they think will be able to help.

Same things happen to me all the time. My biggest tip is to breathe and sit for a second. Disconnect. Checking the said picture is just another form of “reassurance” which will just lead to it becoming a habit or compulsion. Don’t lose sight of who you are! OCD will always try to take who you are away, don’t let it!

Thank you guys so much I’ll try to keep these in mind! It helps knowing others know how it feels

“i have the power to” really resonates with me. i felt that. i am struggling with this too but i think i’m getting better.... i’ve read in a lot of places that accepting the uncertainty of your thoughts accustoms you to the feeling of anxiety and it lessens, ive found that to be true but there are instances where my pocd, incest ocd and real event ocd kick in and i have a huge spike of anxiety. you can get through this! i believe in you!

You can do this! ERP and CBT are good techniques. Tell your therapist if they specialize in ocd, she will understand. You aren’t alone, I have pocd on and off. I’ve been in education, done babysitting, the whole nine yards. You can regain control of your life, it’s not easy but you can do it. You are not your thoughts. You are so much more than that, always remember.

Book “mindfulness for ocd” has a workbook and steps for pocd.