I think the scariest part about this fight with hocd has been the guilt I get from these thoughts because I have a girlfriend but sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough or these thoughts are true and I’m just lying to her. Can anyone else relate?

With me bro I feel better when I’m with her and the thoughts come when she’s gone if I spend the whole day with her I’ll probably have these thoughts 3 times but without her is something else

When I'm chilling at home with my boyfriend, everything feels perfect and I'm calm. But if I'm out in public with him or I'm by myself, the thoughts come back to haunt me.

This is so hard to beat ? I put up my worries can you guys comment if you have any advice

During my first wave of HOCD, I accepted it for what it was. I said "okay, I'm gay, now what" I was uncomfortable for a bit and then the feeling passed. It was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders, I felt like myself again. For like a day ? I was doing a good job at letting the thought pass through my head all day, until I gave in and actually engaged with it. I relapsed. And now I'm back to square one ? so try accepting it and try your very best to not engage with the thought or else you'll end up like me ?

One advice is to not watch porn either straight to make sure you still aroused by women and gay porn to make sure you not aroused by men and to not have sex when you in this state because it will only give you temporarily relief work on yourself and your issues without porn and sex, I personally listen to music it’s been great therapy I started jogging this week and watched Devon frankilns prayer for mentally ill people and I’ve never felt this better in a while although I don’t want to jinx my progress but Don’t give up keep on meditating doing self ERP if you can’t afford to go to the psychologist we got this ?

I would appreciate eix

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@ all y’all above^^^ yeah when I’m with her I feel great and I forget about the worrying but we go to different school so rn I’m struggling and ruminating all day but when I’m with her I’m so happy

I’ve been living with this for 6 months now but before the HOCD I had health OCD sorry to say this but I used to have sex with different women and on day my ex roommate said I will get sick then from that point on I had the ocd for a year but this year it got replaced by HOCD it was so intense at first really intense I would literally have sex with different women and having Gay people all over campus and even at my residence didn’t help at all even now I gay dude just passed and I got a bit anxious but I don’t give into compulsions anymore fast forward to now I’m not thinking about it as much as I used to not as anxious even though some days are really bad but I know how to snap out of it however I’m not happy I’m scared I’ll go back to that dark place because now I can laugh with friends go to clubs and go on with my day but there’s a deep voice in my head that keeps on hindering my recovery and I’ve been using my girlfriend as a compulsion ? but sleeping with her is not that bad but we have been cutting down on sex and it’s been 3 weeks since I had it and now I’m so scared of having sex again although I do feel like having It I’m at a stage where I feel like I’m okay but my mind and heart tell me I’m not any suggestions for recovering from this stage?

And sorry for the long message

And twitter has a lot of porn which didn’t help in the beginning but this week there was gay porn on my wall some girl retweeted it or something I looked and laughed and said nah this ain’t my kind of Steeze and went on with my day but before I slept the video kept on playing inside my head this is just too much but I will not give up

I've been dealing with HOCD and feel so damn hopeless sometimes, but other times I feel hopeful. It's such an inconsistent progress that makes you lose hope, but just always remember the person you used to be before OCD hit. It helps me to remember so that I don't entirely lose myself in my thoughts

Who else feels completely fine when they are drunk and bad when they are sober

Me i feel totally normal when I'm drunk and then hocd is bad when I'm sober it sucks but it lead me to become a heavy drinker so don't get sucked into that

When I was drunk Id have sex with women and it would be great then it would be so hard to have sex sober because of all the intrusive thoughts and anxiety