- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
With me bro I feel better when I’m with her and the thoughts come when she’s gone if I spend the whole day with her I’ll probably have these thoughts 3 times but without her is something else
- Date posted
- 5y
When I'm chilling at home with my boyfriend, everything feels perfect and I'm calm. But if I'm out in public with him or I'm by myself, the thoughts come back to haunt me.
- Date posted
- 5y
This is so hard to beat ? I put up my worries can you guys comment if you have any advice
- Date posted
- 5y
During my first wave of HOCD, I accepted it for what it was. I said "okay, I'm gay, now what" I was uncomfortable for a bit and then the feeling passed. It was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders, I felt like myself again. For like a day ? I was doing a good job at letting the thought pass through my head all day, until I gave in and actually engaged with it. I relapsed. And now I'm back to square one ? so try accepting it and try your very best to not engage with the thought or else you'll end up like me ?
- Date posted
- 5y
One advice is to not watch porn either straight to make sure you still aroused by women and gay porn to make sure you not aroused by men and to not have sex when you in this state because it will only give you temporarily relief work on yourself and your issues without porn and sex, I personally listen to music it’s been great therapy I started jogging this week and watched Devon frankilns prayer for mentally ill people and I’ve never felt this better in a while although I don’t want to jinx my progress but Don’t give up keep on meditating doing self ERP if you can’t afford to go to the psychologist we got this ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I would appreciate eix
- Date posted
- 5y
It
- Date posted
- 5y
@ all y’all above^^^ yeah when I’m with her I feel great and I forget about the worrying but we go to different school so rn I’m struggling and ruminating all day but when I’m with her I’m so happy
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve been living with this for 6 months now but before the HOCD I had health OCD sorry to say this but I used to have sex with different women and on day my ex roommate said I will get sick then from that point on I had the ocd for a year but this year it got replaced by HOCD it was so intense at first really intense I would literally have sex with different women and having Gay people all over campus and even at my residence didn’t help at all even now I gay dude just passed and I got a bit anxious but I don’t give into compulsions anymore fast forward to now I’m not thinking about it as much as I used to not as anxious even though some days are really bad but I know how to snap out of it however I’m not happy I’m scared I’ll go back to that dark place because now I can laugh with friends go to clubs and go on with my day but there’s a deep voice in my head that keeps on hindering my recovery and I’ve been using my girlfriend as a compulsion ? but sleeping with her is not that bad but we have been cutting down on sex and it’s been 3 weeks since I had it and now I’m so scared of having sex again although I do feel like having It I’m at a stage where I feel like I’m okay but my mind and heart tell me I’m not any suggestions for recovering from this stage?
- Date posted
- 5y
And sorry for the long message
- Date posted
- 5y
And twitter has a lot of porn which didn’t help in the beginning but this week there was gay porn on my wall some girl retweeted it or something I looked and laughed and said nah this ain’t my kind of Steeze and went on with my day but before I slept the video kept on playing inside my head this is just too much but I will not give up
- Date posted
- 5y
I've been dealing with HOCD and feel so damn hopeless sometimes, but other times I feel hopeful. It's such an inconsistent progress that makes you lose hope, but just always remember the person you used to be before OCD hit. It helps me to remember so that I don't entirely lose myself in my thoughts
- Date posted
- 5y
Who else feels completely fine when they are drunk and bad when they are sober
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- 5y
Me i feel totally normal when I'm drunk and then hocd is bad when I'm sober it sucks but it lead me to become a heavy drinker so don't get sucked into that
- Date posted
- 5y
When I was drunk Id have sex with women and it would be great then it would be so hard to have sex sober because of all the intrusive thoughts and anxiety
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
- Relationship OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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