mrtoaster
- Date posted
- 5y
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
With me bro I feel better when I’m with her and the thoughts come when she’s gone if I spend the whole day with her I’ll probably have these thoughts 3 times but without her is something else
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y
When I'm chilling at home with my boyfriend, everything feels perfect and I'm calm. But if I'm out in public with him or I'm by myself, the thoughts come back to haunt me.
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
This is so hard to beat ? I put up my worries can you guys comment if you have any advice
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y
During my first wave of HOCD, I accepted it for what it was. I said "okay, I'm gay, now what" I was uncomfortable for a bit and then the feeling passed. It was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders, I felt like myself again. For like a day ? I was doing a good job at letting the thought pass through my head all day, until I gave in and actually engaged with it. I relapsed. And now I'm back to square one ? so try accepting it and try your very best to not engage with the thought or else you'll end up like me ?
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
One advice is to not watch porn either straight to make sure you still aroused by women and gay porn to make sure you not aroused by men and to not have sex when you in this state because it will only give you temporarily relief work on yourself and your issues without porn and sex, I personally listen to music it’s been great therapy I started jogging this week and watched Devon frankilns prayer for mentally ill people and I’ve never felt this better in a while although I don’t want to jinx my progress but Don’t give up keep on meditating doing self ERP if you can’t afford to go to the psychologist we got this ?
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
I would appreciate eix
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
It
mrtoastermrtoaster
- Date posted
- 5y
@ all y’all above^^^ yeah when I’m with her I feel great and I forget about the worrying but we go to different school so rn I’m struggling and ruminating all day but when I’m with her I’m so happy
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve been living with this for 6 months now but before the HOCD I had health OCD sorry to say this but I used to have sex with different women and on day my ex roommate said I will get sick then from that point on I had the ocd for a year but this year it got replaced by HOCD it was so intense at first really intense I would literally have sex with different women and having Gay people all over campus and even at my residence didn’t help at all even now I gay dude just passed and I got a bit anxious but I don’t give into compulsions anymore fast forward to now I’m not thinking about it as much as I used to not as anxious even though some days are really bad but I know how to snap out of it however I’m not happy I’m scared I’ll go back to that dark place because now I can laugh with friends go to clubs and go on with my day but there’s a deep voice in my head that keeps on hindering my recovery and I’ve been using my girlfriend as a compulsion ? but sleeping with her is not that bad but we have been cutting down on sex and it’s been 3 weeks since I had it and now I’m so scared of having sex again although I do feel like having It I’m at a stage where I feel like I’m okay but my mind and heart tell me I’m not any suggestions for recovering from this stage?
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
And sorry for the long message
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
And twitter has a lot of porn which didn’t help in the beginning but this week there was gay porn on my wall some girl retweeted it or something I looked and laughed and said nah this ain’t my kind of Steeze and went on with my day but before I slept the video kept on playing inside my head this is just too much but I will not give up
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y
I've been dealing with HOCD and feel so damn hopeless sometimes, but other times I feel hopeful. It's such an inconsistent progress that makes you lose hope, but just always remember the person you used to be before OCD hit. It helps me to remember so that I don't entirely lose myself in my thoughts
Mod22Mod22
- Date posted
- 5y
Who else feels completely fine when they are drunk and bad when they are sober
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
Me i feel totally normal when I'm drunk and then hocd is bad when I'm sober it sucks but it lead me to become a heavy drinker so don't get sucked into that
js94js94
- Date posted
- 5y
When I was drunk Id have sex with women and it would be great then it would be so hard to have sex sober because of all the intrusive thoughts and anxiety
Related posts
rosie_rosie
- Date posted
- 20w
So I’m really scared that I won’t be able to differentiate my thoughts, real thoughts, to the intrusive ones.
So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.
anonymous1348
- Date posted
- 18w
hocd
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
Jae18
- Date posted
- 14w
Question for people with SO-OCD
Do you perhaps experience things like being so frustrated and numb because of how much your ocd drains you ? Then you are naturally caught up in a compulsion where you’re “physically testing” yourself to lets say something you watched years ago that is usually against your orientation?? If you know what I mean ? Even though you know you are (your own sexuality) and are in a very loving relationship and you really love your partner but does anyone experience this ?? And then they’re faced with more thoughts about how they’ve betrayed their partner and how their partner will leave and if you also struggle with scrupulosity ocd you feel like you’ve committed a huge sin and betrayed your faith ? Again I get all of this goes against values and that the human body may still react to things we naturally may be against but anyone still falls for the testing and then has this awful reaction afterwards? And does that really mean I betrayed my partner ?? Thank you so much for your time and I would really love your insights as this is something that popped up with me out of the blue …
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