- Date posted
- 1y
Salvation and beliefs
I know people with religious ocd are obsessing about their salvation, i would throw the "mine is different"card in, let me tell you my story. So I learned that salvation is a free gift, you cant lose it and God forgives all of our sins if we accept Christ as our saviour, and we cant lose our salvation, i kept myself feeling good with this information, but then i got attacked by ocd thoughts, two of my worst obsessions, harm ocd and suicidal ocd, and there were times when these thoughts came up that its okay if i act on them cause God will forgive me. Even got me into a cycle where i was searching on the net about other people opinion about if people dying by suicide goes to heaven or hell, i know this is a sensitive topic. Then i realized this whole thing has to start from a bad belief that i have,a distortion, and that distortion is that once you turn to Christ, all of your sins are forgiven cause we are humans and we will never stop sinning. And i started to realize this isnt true, turning to Christ doesnt mean we are still turning to sin. Paul talks about this, but he doesnt says if turning back to sinful life will make you lose your salvation, but i dont feel like thats fair... I used to watch videos about prison life, and in one of those videos there was a maffia member who used to kill people, he turned to Christ and beliefs in Christ,but when he was asked what he will do when he gets out he said he will go back killing people cause he cant imagine another life. Does that mean that he is saved? I dont think so, Christ death is not a free card for sin, and as much as im really judging right now,im sinful of this too, cause i have sexual sin and many times i said its okay cause God forgives me, and i used it so i can still act on the sin. Its not fair against non believers to say that we get away with this cause we believe in Christ and his sacrifice. I think accepting his sacfrice also means that we live a life that is acceptable for that,we wont stop sinning, but it doesnt mean we can kill people, do bad things cause we are saved... Im sorry this is really long but now i want to talk about how this realization, that im using the gift of God to still sin might mean that im not really saved and the Holly Spirit it might not be in me cause many times i struggle to see my sexual sins and other sins like joking/ swearing as a sin, even when people explain it i dont understand. So the first point might be true that accepting Christ doesnt mean we live in sin cause that will make us lose the meaning, I get obsession that its okay to act on the ocd thoughts cause im saved, but now im wondering if im actually saved, and im feeling really guilty.