- Date posted
- 43w ago
breakup + ocd
has anyone experienced going through a breakup and experiencing ocd thoughts, i’m having them about reasons why i ended it, lots more. just want to see if anyone relates
has anyone experienced going through a breakup and experiencing ocd thoughts, i’m having them about reasons why i ended it, lots more. just want to see if anyone relates
100%. I went through a rough breakup with my ex and favorite person at the time because of a lot of different stressors affecting me. After the fact I ruminated a lot on if it was the right decision or not. The conclusion i came to was yes, the way I chose to go about it wasn’t the best but it was the right decision for me. I think of your experiencing self doubt about your choice you can try a few things. Meet the doubts with uncertainty “was this the right decision? Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.” you can also try listing pros and cons. Having a list to visualize your reasoning for ending things with this person can help to reassure you that staying with them wasn’t in your best interest. Hope this helps!
@KarsynJ thankyou so much for your help , i know you said you came to the conclusion that it was the right decision, but did you ever experience anything like your ocd got overwhelming in the relationship and it would be easier for yourself to not be with them? i feel guilty in this way because i feel as though my ocd got worse within the relationship.
@Sunflowers44 Absolutely. I actually kind of think my ocd was partially responsible for the breakup. Not that that’s a bad thing. Because of my trauma I lean towards trusting my gut when it tells me to run. In the moment I really didn’t know why I wanted to break up with him. Now I have the vocabulary to explain why but at the time I didn’t, I was stressed, about to graduate, I’d been dating an anxiously attached manipulator for a year, everything was happening at once and he was smothering me. I was spiraling, my intrusive thoughts were spiraling, my relationships with my ex and my friends were spiraling. It was a really confusing and difficult time in my life. I’m still recovering from it now, even though it happened over a year ago, I’ve made a lot of progress but progress isn’t linear. I spent months ruminating on whether or not it was the right decision, what I did wrong, what he did wrong, all I wanted was closure, and I’ll tell you right now I never got the closure the old me wanted. I had to create my own. Even through all the hurt he put me through, I never got an apology, and that’s something I just had to come to terms with. I had to make a choice, I could choose to cave in on myself, replaying the same conversations in my mind that I wish I could’ve had over and over making small changes until I get it just right. Typing paragraphs in my notes trying to organize my thoughts just right, cover every detail, making every point and every emotion as crystal clear as possible (but I know that’s not possible when it comes to my ocd). Or, I could choose to meet myself with the uncertainty and discomfort I fear so much. And in the end, they weren’t so scary. By letting myself experience the pain, by allowing myself to be vulnerable with the people I trusted, and letting myself be uncertain about the couldves wouldves and shouldves, I found that peace I had lost for so long. For example, the intrusive thought, “what could I have done better/to fix things/to keep this from happening,” enters your mind, answer it with, “I guess we’ll never.” Don’t fuel the thoughts and they can’t consume you.
@KarsynJ “I guess will never know” sorry about the typo
@KarsynJ thank you , your words have helped me so much.
@Sunflowers44 I’m glad! Best of luck in your healing journey!
Hello, I recently discovered I may have relationship OCD. I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet but I started experiencing thoughts like “I don’t really love him” or “I’m gonna break up with him”, and sometimes even thoughts that he doesn’t love me or he’s gonna leave me. This all started when I got a text from a former partner, and it was very surprising. I thought since it affected me so much that it meant I still loved him and that I didn’t love my current boyfriend. Before this event, I struggled with intrusive thoughts and compulsions but never about relationships and I didn’t think I had OCD. I wasn’t experiencing any of these specific thoughts before I got that text, and it’s really scary and I’m afraid my thoughts are true. I really do love my boyfriend but these thoughts are really making me depressed.
Hi everyone this is my first post on here but I need advice relationship ocd and ocd in general has taken such a toll on my life as of recently my boyfriend and I decided to not be together we still communicate we’re on good terms and he’ll be visiting soon( long distance) recently a friend I went to school w dad passed and it got me thinking of another friend (male) I used to have feelings for him LONG ago my boyfriend knows of that and I searched his name on Instagram recently and now I feel extremely guilty for this and feel like I need to confess this to my partner did I do something wrong? is this a normal feeling with ocd? someone please give advice.
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
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