Sunflowers44
- Date posted
- 1y
breakup + ocd
has anyone experienced going through a breakup and experiencing ocd thoughts, i’m having them about reasons why i ended it, lots more. just want to see if anyone relates
KarsynJKarsynJ
- Date posted
- 1y
100%. I went through a rough breakup with my ex and favorite person at the time because of a lot of different stressors affecting me. After the fact I ruminated a lot on if it was the right decision or not. The conclusion i came to was yes, the way I chose to go about it wasn’t the best but it was the right decision for me. I think of your experiencing self doubt about your choice you can try a few things. Meet the doubts with uncertainty “was this the right decision? Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.” you can also try listing pros and cons. Having a list to visualize your reasoning for ending things with this person can help to reassure you that staying with them wasn’t in your best interest. Hope this helps!
Sunflowers44Sunflowers44
- Date posted
- 1y
@KarsynJ thankyou so much for your help , i know you said you came to the conclusion that it was the right decision, but did you ever experience anything like your ocd got overwhelming in the relationship and it would be easier for yourself to not be with them? i feel guilty in this way because i feel as though my ocd got worse within the relationship.
KarsynJKarsynJ
- Date posted
- 1y
@Sunflowers44 Absolutely. I actually kind of think my ocd was partially responsible for the breakup. Not that that’s a bad thing. Because of my trauma I lean towards trusting my gut when it tells me to run. In the moment I really didn’t know why I wanted to break up with him. Now I have the vocabulary to explain why but at the time I didn’t, I was stressed, about to graduate, I’d been dating an anxiously attached manipulator for a year, everything was happening at once and he was smothering me. I was spiraling, my intrusive thoughts were spiraling, my relationships with my ex and my friends were spiraling. It was a really confusing and difficult time in my life. I’m still recovering from it now, even though it happened over a year ago, I’ve made a lot of progress but progress isn’t linear. I spent months ruminating on whether or not it was the right decision, what I did wrong, what he did wrong, all I wanted was closure, and I’ll tell you right now I never got the closure the old me wanted. I had to create my own. Even through all the hurt he put me through, I never got an apology, and that’s something I just had to come to terms with. I had to make a choice, I could choose to cave in on myself, replaying the same conversations in my mind that I wish I could’ve had over and over making small changes until I get it just right. Typing paragraphs in my notes trying to organize my thoughts just right, cover every detail, making every point and every emotion as crystal clear as possible (but I know that’s not possible when it comes to my ocd). Or, I could choose to meet myself with the uncertainty and discomfort I fear so much. And in the end, they weren’t so scary. By letting myself experience the pain, by allowing myself to be vulnerable with the people I trusted, and letting myself be uncertain about the couldves wouldves and shouldves, I found that peace I had lost for so long. For example, the intrusive thought, “what could I have done better/to fix things/to keep this from happening,” enters your mind, answer it with, “I guess we’ll never.” Don’t fuel the thoughts and they can’t consume you.
KarsynJKarsynJ
- Date posted
- 1y
@KarsynJ “I guess will never know” sorry about the typo
Sunflowers44Sunflowers44
- Date posted
- 1y
@KarsynJ thank you , your words have helped me so much.
KarsynJKarsynJ
- Date posted
- 1y
@Sunflowers44 I’m glad! Best of luck in your healing journey!
Related posts
Gmoki
- Date posted
- 21w
Embarassing OCD thoughts while going thru breakup?
Ok guys this is so embarassing. I absolutely hate this. But pretty much I’ve been going through a breakup and now I’m getting intrusive thoughts/memories about us being physically intimate and cringing about it. I’m not sure why I’m cringing because it’s a normal part of a relationship, and he’s the first person I’ve ever been intimate like that with. I guess I’m embarrassed. I don’t know what I looked like and I’m embarassed I didn’t look perfect and that’s apart of why he broke up with me. I don’t know why my brain is doing this. I hate this
Gmoki
- Date posted
- 20w
Dealing with breakup pls help
Hi - I’ve made a series of posts about my situation over the past few weeks. My bf asked to take a break from our relationship through text the first week of April. We haven’t spoken since. There’s a lot of outward details to this but I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible. My ocd is telling me the worst of the worst. He left me with full uncertainty because he didn’t give me a reason, and his decision felt like it happened overnight and I’m still so confused. He’s never been in a relationship as serious as this before. I’m incredibly hurt and angry, and my emotions get worse on Saturday and Friday nights because that’s when his frat parties happen. I do ERP phrases but my stomach hurts and it’s churning so bad. I deactivated/deleted social media apps for now because it’s too much. I just wish this physical feeling would stop. Does anyone have tips?
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 17w
OCD around my breakup
My partner broke up with my about 10 months ago. It came out of nowhere, and I got no explanation before they ghosted me and blocked me on all forms of contact. I have been horribly struggling since then with this obsessive need for closure. For a while I continued to try to reach out to them, on my own accord or through other people, but it just kept ending with more blocking. For months, I was going through the relationship and the breakup in my head over and over, picking it apart to try and figure out what went wrong, but without a conversation with my ex, I couldn't get anywhere. I am definitely doing much better now. the compulsions to reach out to her and the spiral obsession with figuring out what went wrong have both lessened. but they are still present, especially when I sleep. I really just want to be rid of the whole situation, but i want to do it in a healthy way without locking up my feelings. i really am at such a loss though. i still want answers and i still miss my ex in a lot of ways, but at the same time, the though of running into them scares the shit out of me. ive heard some horrible things about them since then, and how they have been spreading rumors about me behind my back. the situation cant seem to get any worse and it just keep happening. and it makes my ocd triggers so much worse too. idk, i will take literally any responses and any helpful advice.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond