16/May/2024

First day of school after 2 month break, I feel both fine and stressed in same time. I wanna go back home, I don't wanna stay with normal people. They are all so normal while I'm so abnormal. I don't wanna stay with them. I don't like school. Everyone grew up, but I'm still the same.. No.. not the same.. I'm worse than previous semester. I can't touch anything that is dirty. I'm scared to touch my own bag. I'm scared to touch tables. I' scared to touch anything. Not even my own face or body. I can only touch my phone and my pocket and my hands. I wash hands 10 times at once or else I will feel like dying. Everything feels so dirty... I don't wanna do anything... No one understand me there... Not even my family... People will just say that I'm overdramatic if I explain... Hiding all these from people is better than explaining and got judged in the end. I hope I will survive.. I used to plan that I will die today...On the first day of the next semester. And today is that day... I don't wanna die yet... I hope I can surpass that plan... I don't wanna die before I could reach my goal... I hope I will be fine...

Contamination OCD

Username: anaaanaa

Date posted: 31w ago

You will be fine dear. Don't stress too much. I truly understand what you go through as i also suffer from contamination ocd. I do wash my hands and clothes evertime. But remember this time will pass. I do have some good days where i don't stress much over these things but sometimes my anxiety is high. Nothing lasts forever. Just try taking smaller steps for your recovery and you will feel much better. Like wash your hands quickly, dont take too much time. Then decrease the number of times you wash your hands etc. I wish you good health dear

Username: mindrealmermindrealmer

Date posted: 31w ago

Thank you!

Username: thebubblyonethebubblyone

Date posted: 31w ago

i'm really sorry you're feeling this way, especially on your first day back at school. it sounds incredibly tough to deal with these feelings of being different and the intense fear of contamination. you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed and scared, even if it seems like no one around you gets it. 💔 by the way, have you heard about this new ai-powered ocd therapy tool called "unstuck?" when i was going through something similar, what really helped me was this free ai ocd therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my nocd therapist recommended to me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it's designed to provide personalized step-by-step support when ocd gets difficult, just like an ocd therapist would. it can offer you strategies to handle the fear of contamination and the feeling of being overwhelmed by your surroundings, without making you feel judged or misunderstood. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: mindrealmermindrealmer

Date posted: 30w ago

♡♡♡

Username: thebubblyonethebubblyone

Date posted: 30w ago

@mindrealmer - <333

Username: Naeun

Date posted: 6y ago

Just went to college today and it was horrible. I kept getting thoughts about killing people. It hurts so much. I’m home crying idk why. I’m sobbing. I’m jealous I can’t be like the other people enjoying they’re college lives. I wanna be happy again. I wanna die so badly but I don’t wanna leave my mom and dad or anyone I’m scared I’m a serial killer. I can’t even enjoy college. I feel like I enjoy these thoughts. I read about other people saying how they still recover yet from Harm ocd and it’s giving me even more anxiety. I wanna go to a concert of my favorite singer and I’m crazy to go there. But I can’t because I’m a murderer. And I deserve to be in jail. Idk what to do please help me. I don’t wanna leave my mom. I can’t breathe and I can’t manage to fail my classes either. It’s so hard.

Username: idont241

Date posted: 5y ago

So today is my first time in school since I got this ocd. I developed it over my summer vacation. I really hope I don’t accidentally fall in love with one of my classmates

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: MandyM

Date posted: 4y ago

TW/ I don't know what to do anymore 😔 Struggling with real event/false memory ocd is so hard. Last weekend, I was planning on committing suicide but I couldn't tell my siblings what was wrong cuz I feel like they wouldn't understand. I feel so underserved and unwanted sometimes and it would be better if I leave this earth. I would compare myself to people who done harmful things to other people, but deep down inside I'm none of these people AT ALL. Tbh, I will be surprised if I make out alive by the end of next year. I struggle with self-harm as well and there are times where I really I had to fight the urge to self-harm. This has been so horrible because I failed all my classes this semester and I'm not sure if I'm going to be back to school next semester. I just feel like a failure. I don't even remember being fully happy. At this point I just want to leave and never come back. I know my friends and family would be sad when I committ suicide, but I think they would live a better life when I'm not in it.

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16/May/2024

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